Reactive Attachment Disorder

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in Parents of Reactive Attachment Disordered Children by Jody Swarbrick Many foster and adoptive families of Reactive Attachment Disordered children live in a home that has become a battleground. In the beginning, the daily struggles can be expected, after all, we knew that problems would occur. Initially, stress can be so subtle that we lose sight of a war which others do not realize is...

Explaining Adoption To Your Child

Over the last several years I’ve met a couple of parents, both online and off, that are waiting for that “right time” to tell their children they were adopted. (Luckily this is not the norm. For most parents, adoption is a topic that is shared and spoken about throughout a childs life.) I adopted my children at an older age, so they came home knowing they were adopted. But I’ve always been intrigued by...

Wordless Wednesday

Here is my entry for Wordless Wednesday. My nine year old daughter likes to create things. She’s always making, or remaking something, sometimes with my help, sometimes on her own. She decided she wanted to make a t-shirt using some of the fabric paint we have. I dug out a white t-shirt for her and she asked me to trace, in pencil, what she wanted to write. Here’s the final product. I love my daughter. **If...

Choosing Your Childs Name After Adoption

I recently posted an poll at our adoption forums which asked “For those who adopted an infant through domestic adoption, how much input did the biological mother have on your choosing a name for your child”?The results were: (total votes = 15): 1) The bio. mother chose the name and I had no input 0 / 0.0% 2) I chose the name and the bio. mother had no input 7 / 46.7% 3) I chose the name along with the bio. mother...

A Young Adoptee Deals With Past Hurt

I recently posted about my 12 year old daughter discovering that she’s an “adoptee”, which is why I chose the title of this post. If you’ve read our adoption story, you know that she and her siblings were removed from their biological home and placed into protective custody the day before her 4th birthday. *sigh* What a burden for a little girl to handle. Her first full day in the foster care system...

Finding Out You’re An Adoptee

My 12 year old daughter just found out that she’s an ‘adoptee”. No, we didn’t just tell her she was adopted. She already knew that being she was eight years old when we adopted her and her siblings. What I mean is she just found out that there’s a “word” for someone who has been adopted. She thinks it’s pretty cool. We happen to be having a conversation the other day while she...

Real Parents

Ed Brayton has written a great post on his blog about parents who’ve adopted, not being considered “real” parents.He says “The first rule of parenting is this: biology is irrelevant; only relationships matter. This attitude is an insult to the millions of adoptive parents and step parents who have forged real parental relationships with their children without any biological connection...

Reality Of An Adult Adoptee

Delta Winds: A Magazine of Student Essays A Publication of San Joaquin Delta College 2000 I Am Who I Am Cheryl Evans In the middle of the afternoon the phone rang interrupting Delores from her afternoon ritual of chamomile tea and the daily newspaper. The caller did not identify herself but quickly confirmed she was speaking to the right party. She further inquired if the date, July 17, 1959, had particular meaning to...

Study On Adoptive Parents: American Sociological R...

Study: Adoptive Parents Get High Marks By DAVID CRARY AP National WriterFebruary 12, 2007 NEW YORK Read the study on adoptive parents Adoptive parents invest more time and financial resources in their children than biological parents, according to a new national study challenging arguments that have been used to oppose same-sex marriage and gay adoption. The study, published in the new issue of the American Sociological...

Adopting An Infant And Choosing Their Name

I recently asked this question to our members at the Forever Parents adoption forums:For those who adopted an infant through domestic adoption, how much input did the biological mother have on your choosing a name for your child? Out of the eight replies, the results were; * The bio. mother chose the name and I had no input 0 * I chose the name and the bio. mother had no input 5 * I chose the name along with the bio. mother...

“You Couldn’t Have Your Own?”

When adoption comes up in conversations with new people, I often get asked the $10,000 question, “you couldn’t have your own?”. My answer always is “Yes, I do have my own. I just told you I adopted three children, didn’t I? You meant to ask, do you have any biological children, and to that my answer would be no”. I do try and say it as nice as possible, but coming out of my Brooklyn mouth...

Mothers Day Thoughts From Mothers Who Adopted

Happy Mothers Day! I hope you’re enjoying the day with your loved ones.I recently asked members of the Forever Parents adoption forums for their thoughts on Mothers Day. Here’s what they had to say;**I am so excited for Mother’s Day this year. It will be even more special because we are also having a baby(ies) (in our case) dedication! Our whole family will be there to share in this very special day. Later...

Blending Biological And Adopted Children

People come to adoption for many reasons and infertility is only one of them, although society seems to think it’s the only reason. It’s like people can’t believe that someone would pick adoption as their first choice. Many parents blend adoptive and biological children in the family. I myself come from a blended family. My parents adopted my brother when I was eight. Lisa Van Houten and her husband Craig...

More Gays And Lesbians Becoming Parents

It’s nice to see such a positive article in the midst of such discrimination. I honestly don’t understand what their issue is with gay people adopting. Families come in all shapes and sizes and who’s to say that one is better than another. Gaywired.com According to a study released by the Williams Institute and the Urban Institute, lesbian, gay and bisexual people are becoming parents at a faster rate....

Parenting Biological And Adopted Children

Debra G. Smith of the National Adoption Information Clearinghouse, 1996. Years ago, if you went to an adoption agency seeking to adopt a child after having had a child by birth, you were turned down. It just wasn’t done. It was thought that you shouldn’t mix the two the children would be too different, and the difference would be insurmountable. Professionals advised against it. Of course, the reverse order of...