Congratulations!  After all of your hard work, the time to travel to meet your child is finally here (or almost here).  Since you can expect to be overtired, a little anxious, and, quite possibly, overwhelmed, a little advance planning can go a long way toward helping you cope. In order to help you prepare for your trip, here are a few of our favorite tips and tricks to make your adoption travel less stressful.  International travelers should check with their country program coordinator for any specific items that may be required.

Domestic Travel

First – and most important – keep in mind that anything you forget (or decide you can’t live without) can be purchased at local supermarkets, drugstores, and baby/children’s stores such as Babies ‘R’ Us.

Anticipating an extended stay?  Ship a small box of essential items ahead of time. If you’re traveling with an older sibling, this is a great way to be sure s/he will have some favorite books and toys to play with while you wait for permission to return home.  Clothes that will only be used in your destination city (e.g. bathing suits if you’re traveling to a warm climate from a winter one) are a great example of items you can send by parcel post.  Ask your local agency or attorney about short-term rental apartments or extended stay hotels.

Go to the bank before you leave. Don’t forget a few rolls of quarters (great for laundry machines) and singles for tipping in the airports.  You’ll have your hands full, especially on the return trip.  Pamper yourself and let a porter carry your luggage.

You may be able to attend the birth of your child.  If you are planning to be in the delivery room, pack some snacks and a sweatshirt!  Labor can take a long time – you might need a quick granola bar to tide you over – and delivery rooms tend to be kept at cooler temperatures.  Don’t forget a camera, but be sure to talk to your birthmother ahead of time to see how she feels about pictures.  Remember that even if the two of you agreed to something ahead of time, she may feel differently in the moment.  Respecting her wishes – and her privacy – is the most important part of building a positive relationship with her.  (Don’t be afraid to ask to cut the umbilical cord!)

If you expect to be spending time at the hospital, ask your agency or attorney or call the hospital social worker to find out their adoption policies.  Most hospitals will allow prospective adoptive parents to attend the daily classes for new mothers, covering topics such as feeding, diapering, and bathing newborns.   Be sure to request the new baby “care package” from the nursery.  Typically this freebie includes an insulated diaper bag, diapers, bulb syringe, and other items.  The hospital will also give you infant formula in glass bottles and disposable nipples.  Take as much as they will give you!

Many hospitals ban cell phone use. Prepaid phone cards are a great way to keep in touch if you need to use a pay phone (yes, they still exist) or a hospital phone.  If you have a telephone calling card linked to your home phone, be sure to memorize the code or write it down and bring it with you.  On a similar note, make sure you have the remote codes for your answering machine or voice mail system.  If you’re out of town longer than expected, you’ll need to be able to delete, rewind, and playback messages as well as change your outgoing announcement to share your good news.

Adopting a newborn? Be sure you have an infant car seat!  You can research ahead of time to decide what brand and style you want.  Either purchase at home and take it with you or order in advance and arrange to pick it up at a store in your destination city.  If you’re superstitious and don’t want to buy one ahead of time, you can borrow from a friend – but be sure the car seat is less than five years old and has not been involved in any car accidents.  Even a minor fender bender can cause invisible stress fractures inside the seat – making it unsafe in case of another, even minor, accident.  Be sure to ask your local police department to show you how to install a car seat properly before leaving home.

Use the internet wisely. A little advance research into your destination city can provide tourist information (helpful for finding places to entertain older siblings, for example) and maps.  Find out in advance if your hotel or apartment will have internet access.  Otherwise, investigate other options such as the nearest public library or stores such as Kinko’s (which charge a small internet access fee).  Be sure to pack a USB cable (if necessary) so that you can download photos from your digital camera and send them to family and friends waiting impatiently at home.

International Travel

Your agency or country program coordinator will provide you with a suggested packing list.  Be sure to pack everything they suggest that you bring…they’re the experts!

In addition, plan ahead for minor medical issues.  Pack a thermometer and make sure you know how to use it before you travel.  Bring infant or children’s Tylenol.  Know which one you are carrying and how to determine the correct dose (by weight) for your child.  If the child is over six months of age, ask your pediatrician to recommend an over-the-counter decongestant that will be safe for you to use if necessary.  Ask your pharmacist for an infant dosing syringe (there’s no needle) and a children’s dosing spoon.  Write down the correct dose by weight for each medication you have with you.  Consult your pediatrician or an international adoption medical professional to decide whether to carry antibiotics.  Carry your pediatrician’s phone number with you.

Do not bring baby formula from home unless instructed to do so by your international agency or country program coordinator.  Keep your child on his/her current diet until you return home. Be sure to ask the local program staff for a list of current foods (for older children) or for current feeding quantities (for babies still on formula).  Pack a few vinyl bibs, especially if you are adopting an older child. These wipe clean easily!

In each suitcase pack some clothes for each person traveling.  If one suitcase is lost en route, you will still have some clothes to wear.  Pack clothes in a few different sizes for your child.  If you find that some are too small for him/her when you arrive, donate them to the orphanage or children’s home.  Make copies of each traveler’s passport and place them inside each suitcase in case of emergency.  Include an emergency contact name and phone number.  Add extra copies of your passport photos in case your passports need to be replaced.  Place all of this into a sealed plastic bag.

Put the “drug bag” into your carry-on and be sure to include anti-diarrheal medicine, antacid, cold medicine, and antibiotics (for adults).  Bring copies of prescriptions for any prescription medicine you are carrying.  Go online the week before you travel to check for any updates or changes to travel restrictions (e.g. quantity of liquids, etc.).

Invest in quality hand-held luggage carts. These will prove invaluable in terms of navigating airports and train stations – especially once you are also carrying a child.  Consider purchasing a sling or other soft-sided baby carrier.  These store flat in your luggage and promote bonding with your new child.  Be sure you know how to assemble and wear the carrier properly before leaving home.  Practice with a friend’s child of similar age and size if possible!

Go to the bank before you leave.Purchase travelers checks.  Ask if your ATM card can be used overseas and whether your PIN code needs an extension.  (In many countries PIN codes are six digits.)  Don’t forget singles for tipping in the airports.  You’ll have your hands full, especially on the return trip.  Pamper yourself and let a porter carry your luggage.

Be sure you can phone home. Call your cellular phone company to find out if your phone can be used overseas.  Check with your telephone calling card company to find out how to dial home from your destination country.  Consider purchasing prepaid phone cards for use overseas.

Pack duct tape and a bath towel. Depending on where you are traveling, the towels may be small and rough.  The duct tape?  Hey, you never know!  Good for everything from fixing ripped luggage to creating a small, hacky-sack type of ball to distract a cranky child (or partner!), the duct tape may just keep you sane in a moment of insanity.

Domestic and International Travel

Take an extra suitcase – the type that folds flat inside your suitcase – since you are likely to be coming home with more things than you took with you.  Also be sure to pack a copy of the book “What to Expect the First Year” or “What to Expect the Toddler Years” so you have a quick reference by your side.  Pack your camera or camcorder (or both).  Include the USB cable if necessary.  Don’t forget extra batteries!

Pack a night light or a flashlight! In unfamiliar surroundings, late night feedings and diaper changes will be a lot easier if you shed some light on the subject.  Having a night light or flashlight handy means you don’t have to wake your spouse/partner or travel companion, which is helpful if you’re working in shifts.  Keeping the lights low also helps keep newborns sleepy!  Pack power food such as granola bars, nutrition bars, or trail mix to keep you going.

For the return trip, be sure to pack extra formula or food.  You never know when a flight will be delayed or canceled.  If you’re stuck in an airport, especially overseas, you may not be able to find what you’re looking for.  Call ahead of time to see if a pediatrician’s note is necessary for your infant (especially a newborn) to fly.  Also check with the airline about special customer service to waive penalties or other special considerations for adoption travel.

Don’t forget that you’ll need extra time to do absolutely everything on the return.  Even if you are already a parent, you’re not used to traveling with this child.  It takes longer to do things with an infant or child but don’t worry, you’ll learn quickly!

The diaper bag counts as a carry-on, so plan accordingly.  However, if your baby or child has a paid ticket, s/he’s entitled to a carry-on, too.  Babies travel half-price if you buy a seat.  For a toddler, bring an umbrella stroller.  The airline will gate check the umbrella stroller as you board the plane and return it to you as you exit.

Leave someone the keys to your house, especially if you leave on short notice.  Have all of your important paperwork (copies of passports, adoption-related documents, travelers check ID numbers, etc.) in a folder or box on the kitchen table.  Be sure this person knows where to find everything in case they need to send or fax paperwork, etc.

Stock your freezer before you go. Pack food into one- or two-person serving containers.  You’ll want to be able to microwave a quick meal for yourself, not cook, once you return.  Leave a short “essentials” shopping list with a close friend or family member (e.g. milk, juice, etc.).  Ask them to purchase these items and have them waiting for you the day you return.

And the number one travel tip:  zip-lock bags!  Take a box of sandwich bags (for those breakable glass formula bottles) and a box of one gallon bags in your luggage.  On the way home, be sure to put some of each size in an easy-to-reach pocket of your carry-on bag.  Zip-lock bags are a necessity for emergencies such as leaky diapers, soiled clothes, and snacks.

Please be sure you have contact information for your agency/attorney/program coordinator with you.  They should be available to advise and support you while you are traveling to meet your child.  For domestic adoption, they can troubleshoot, if necessary, with the sending agency and can place calls on your behalf to interstate compact offices and, for international adoption, to embassy officials.

Finally, ENJOY! You only get to meet your child for the first time once in your life.  Make the most of it.

Related posts

• The Perception Of Adoption In History (2)
• Debbie Schwartz Honored By The Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute (4)
• Paying For Adoption Costs (2)
• Adoption: Getting The Word Out (1)
• Adoption Myths (1)

When the child’s family history was unknown, there was fear that they might not become bearers of genetically sound progeny. There was concern that they might not have marriage potential. Then there were the rumors of illegitimacy, of ill repute, of infidelity. Families guarded the secret of adoption for these children whom they had grown to love.

Recently I spoke to a genealogist who had found photos of her great-grandfather posted by someone that was unknown to her. When she enquired, it turned out that the man making the queries had no idea that his grandmother had been adopted, along with three other girls. The genealogist friend of mine had been piecing together the small clues that letters and records had left behind. My friend was descended from one of the girls, but that was a step-parent adoption. There were two biological sisters out of the four, with connections to the mother. “Was there contact between your grandmother and her biological father?” I asked. “Yes”, she said, “But Great-Grandaddy put a stop to it.” She started describing various gifts that had been received and returned.

An ancestor of mine from the early to mid-1800′s was a politician. He was also an adoptee. There were rumors of a barmaid birthmother. His political competitor tried to mar his reputation, and was successfully sued.

It appears that historically, closed adoption practices were chosen for child-centered reasons, not for the benefit of the adoptive parents. Although in the early days children were all needed to help with chores and to bring in the crops, the intent of child adoption was primarily one of family structure and not one of economic benefits. Those adoptions which were obvious among society typically were the children of relatives. A wealthy mechant’s wife who was in her thirties with no children, took in the daughters of her sisters, who had died of smallpox. One particularly interesting 18th century story is that of a woman who had survived losing the top of her skull in an attack, to have given birth to her seventeenth child. However, the records show that there was a woman who eventually became the second wife, who tended to the family and to the injured spouse for years until her death.

Some people even used adoption itself as a way to conceal the truth from other relatives. The secrecy of adoption protected someone from intense questioning. A woman who did not want her daughter to learn about her grandparents told her an elaborate adoption story all of her life. When the case was researched, the records were all there – NOT adopted in Ireland and raised in a Catholic orphanage, but one of five children born in the same New England town.

Prior to the 1920s, birth certificates were not always issued. Sometimes that was a problem for people looking for jobs or an education. The secrecy of adoption was closely guarded in the days when there were no laws protecting people’s rights. People depended upon references to document their lives, or Baptismal records to show proof of family connections. One man needed his mother’s notarized statement in order to enter a military academy.

Without widespread adoption regulations and practices, the process to adopt orphans was as simple as going to get them and bring them home, to interviews and questioning. While we think of the ease in which adoptions could be obtained in days long ago, we must also remember why child labor laws and other protective laws were created. Philosophies and theories abound, child-centered adoption practices will continue to evolve.

Written by Keadie

Related posts

• Let’s Get Real! (1)
• Adoption Travel Tips (8)
• Adoption Options (0)
• Paying For Adoption Costs (2)
• Haitian Adoptions Jeopardized By Disaster (5)

Knowledge is power, and YOU are in the driver’s seat at this point, not the adoption agencies. Research your state’s adoption laws, and even ask a lawyer in your state who handles family law some questions, such as: How long do birthparents have to change their minds? What rights do birthfathers have? What birthmother expenses might be legally requested of you? Are all parental rights severed with the birthparents, or are any retained by them, such as contact rights (Open Adoption agreements)? How many Post Placement Visits with the caseworker are required by the courts (these can vary depending on the agency, and increase costs to you)? What issues might limit our chances of being approved to adopt, such as health or finances, and who ultimately makes that decision, the courts or the agency? Are adoption facilitators legal in this state? Then, look for a pediatrician. When you find one who you like, make an appointment and ask questions such as: what are the riskiest exposures for an unborn child in terms of recreational drugs, alcohol, smoking, prescription drugs, etc. and also, what the chances are if a birthparent has a mental or physical condition, that that problem could be passed on. Ask the doctor to give you some examples of various conditions that you might want to either avoid or do some soul searching before you accept. Ask if you can call later when you find out what health problems the birth family has.

What if I’m open to children of another race or culture? Why not find out by immersing yourself among people who have these differences from yourselves. Consider being a host family for a minority inner city child for a brief summer stay. Ask other adoptive families how race and/or cultural differences have affected them. There is an important distinction which needs to be addressed here: If the child has a degree of Indian Blood, the situation must be researched by the Bureau of Indian Affairs because an Indian Child by definition must be given consideration by them first.

What if I’ll consider some special needs? Consider attending support groups for individuals with particular handicaps. Go to the elementary school and talk to the special ed department. Ask every special ed teacher that you know personally: what problems are the hardest to deal with, which conditions give you the greatest hope? What can they recommend to you, where can you go to network for support? Ask families who have adopted special needs children. There is a special kind of joy in raising them, at least I personally have found. I adopted a little girl with Autism and global delays from an orphanage and she is the light of my life.

What if I have questions about Open Adoption? Open Adoption is the creation of a triad relationship where the child’s best interests are paramount, and the parental sides share the duties of making the child feel secure and healthy by working together to support the child’s new identity. Expectant mothers considering adoption will choose a preadoptive couple based upon what they want in the way of contact with the infant, throughout childhood. What Open Adoption does not typically do is address specific expectations of the preadoptive parents. Consider discussing your concerns about Open Adoption with an independent psychologist. Ask about theories (I personally prefer Behavioralist) on child rearing, attachment and bonding, motherhood, what a newborn senses, and what an adoptee experiences in terms of loss, abandonment, rejection. Open Adoption has been debated for years despite the many sources which regard it highly. This would be a relationship with another person who has a personal interest in your future child. Become informed before promises are made.

There is a middle ground which offers a degree of privacy and the free flow of non-identifying information, and that is called Semi Open Adoption. This is where the agency acts as intermediary for a number of years while you send about four letters and photos the first year, annually thereafter as a minimum baseline. Then the relationship can grow naturally if it is meant to, or stay as private as you have originally shared.

What if you do not want an Open Adoption at all? Look for adoption professionals who can identify with your point of view enough to present you in the most supportive way possible to expectant mothers considering adoption. Ask them what their experience has been as to qualities birthmothers most look for in a profile. Religious attendance is often one. Explain your values and traditions in your profile. Your profile is where you can present who you are, how you believe, and what matters to you.

What if you’re considering International Adoption? International adoption does not have to be more expensive than domestic. The children tend to be a couple of years older, because it takes a while to get your documents ready (called a dossier), and these children usually have already been waiting in an orphanage. Again, ask your pediatrician about country specific medical/emotional conditions as well as institutional behaviors. Find out what that country’s rules are for who can adopt, how many post placement visits in your home are required (can be different than your agency’s), what the process is and how long it has been taking. Your agency back here at home needs to be licensed to do international adoptions, or you can network with your local agency for doing the homestudy and visits while a larger out-of-state agency helps you with the international details.

What if some of your relatives don’t approve of adoption, have negative opinions about adopted children, or just don’t support your dreams? This can be really sad, but also surprising in the end, because some may come around once they meet the child. You can find literature for them to read, try to chat with them about your dreams, explaining to them how much this would mean to you if you were to become an adoptive parent. Perhaps they could help you shop and decorate the child’s room. Some people just don’t have enough understanding of adoption, and once they have been educated, are much more reasonable. Ultimately though, adoptive families have moved on and away from those who have continued to disapprove or criticize, because their children’s happiness has come first.

What if the price of adoption is prohibitive? They say that if people waited until the right time came for the rites de passage in life, that we would never get around to doing them. The adoptive process will test your faith, but in the end, those people who have persevered will become parents. Some will tell you, myself included, that when the right situation comes along, the doors will open. Moneys, grants, benefits will surface. Your job is to hunt for them, create opportunities, spread the word. Shop around for the best adoption professionals for you, that meet your needs and have your trust, because you’ve researched them beforehand.

My very, very best to you as you begin this exciting journey to parenthood! And yes! It feels just as real, just as normal as any other way to build a family. I am raising both biological and adopted children and every one of their arrivals was miraculous.

Written by Keadie

Related posts

• The Adoption Agency/Parent Relationship and its Effect on Attachment (4)
• Adoptees: Choices, Not Blankets (6)
• On the Outside Looking In: The Adoptive Parent Experience (4)
• Families Change: A Book for Children Experiencing Termination of Parental Rights (1)
• Are You Tough Enough To Adopt? (Part 2) (3)

Unlike adoptions in many other countries, where parents learn the identities of their children rather late in the process, Haitian adoptions typically match parents up with children near the beginning. That gives parents the opportunity to travel to Haiti multiple times during the adoption process to spend time with their children and bond with them.

The waiting game had been hard enough before Tuesday’s earthquake, with parents worrying daily about malnourished sons and daughters they had already come to know quite well. But since the earthquake, many have no way of knowing whether their children are alive or dead.

For parents who have gotten word that their children are still alive, the worries are far from over. They’re terrified that food and water supplies will run out for their already compromised kids, and they’re filled with dread that the lengthy and cumbersome adoption process in Haiti is about to become much longer.

The U.S. State Department said that it is working with the Department of Homeland Security to determine how to handle the cases of the 254 Haitian children who are in the process of being adopted into U.S. homes. Adopting parents can send their information, including the names of their children and orphanages, to AskCI@state.gov, so the State Department has a good way to contact parents. Click for more information on the adoption process in Haiti.

For people interested in Haiti adoption, the State Department issued the following statement on the issue:

The State Department has received calls from Americans offering to open their homes and adopt Haitian children in need.

It is extremely difficult in circumstances such as this to determine whether children who appear to be orphans are eligible for adoption. Children may be temporarily separated from parents and other family. It is particularly difficult to fulfill the U.S. and local requirements for legal adoption when civil authority is handicapped in its ability ensure the best interests of children and their families have been protected. For now, U.S. citizens can best help the children of Haiti through financial contribution to the relief effort.

Adoptions from Haiti make up a fraction of international adoptions to the United States each year, but the number has been growing steadily as countries such as China and Guatemala have slowed or closed to international adoption in recent years. The U.S. State Department issued 330 immigrant visas to Haitian children last year, up from 96 in 1999.

Related posts

• Adoption As A First Option (pt. 1) (0)
• The Perception Of Adoption In History (2)
• Baby Shower for Adopting Parents (1)
• Watch The Adoption Angles Webcast Tonight (0)
• Families For Orphans Act (0)

The answer should be obvious: a safe, permanent and loving family. Unfortunately, the U.S. government and many aide organizations do not seem to agree. In fact, the U.S. sometimes spends millions of dollars, ensuring just the opposite. And while beloved organizations such as UNICEF keep millions of children alive, many believe it is better for children to live in temporary foster care than in a permanent family.

The children of our world need your help to make a change. They need your help to live in a permanent family. As a founding member of the Families For Orphans Coalition, Joint Council is proud to announce that the first step in making this much-needed change is upon us. In a bi-partisan effort, landmark legislation was introduced into Congress, which will ensure that U.S. government programs, policies and funding are directed towards a singular goal: a permanent family for every child.

The Families For Orphans Act (Senate Bill 1458 and House Bill 3070), sponsored by Senators Mary Landrieu (D-LA) and James Inhofe (R-OK) along with Representatives Diana Watson (D-CA) and John Boozman (R-AR) demonstrates our collective commitment to the millions of children living outside of permanent parental care and proactively address a global gap in the most basic of human rights – the right to a permanent family.

While the introduction of the legislation is an important first step, there is much more to be done. Now we must ensure that the Families For Orphans Act becomes the law of the United States. To do this, your voice is needed. Speak for those to cannot speak for themselves by supporting the Families For Orphans Act and joining our Call To Action.

What can you do?

Sign the Families For Orphans petition, make three simple phone calls, and get the word out! Here are the details…

1. Sign our Petition!
Sign the Joint Council Families for Orphans Petition
The Petition will be delivered to the U.S. Congress

2. Call Congress!
On July 28th, 29th, and 30th, call your three Members of Congress (two in the Senate and one in the House of Representatives).
You can find your Representative at http://www.house.gov/
You can find you Senators’ at http://www.senate.gov/
Ask to speak with the Legislative Director or Chief of Staff
For maximum effect, we are asking you to make these calls within this 72-hour window!

3. Get the word out!
Send this email to friends and family. Post to your Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, blog or website

What should you say or write to your Members of Congress?
This is an issue that is critical to children in need, so speak from your heart. Tell them why ensuring more children living in families is so important to you! Ask your Senators and Representatives to become a Co-Sponsor of the Families for Orphans Act. Please feel free to use the following text as a guideline when speaking with your Members of Congress.

“As a constituent ofwe are requesting that you support the Families For Orphans Act by becoming a Co-Sponsor of the legislation. For information on becoming a Co-Sponsor, please contact Senator Mary Landrieu, Senator James Inhofe, Representative Diane Watson or Representative John Boozman. Thank you for representing your constituents by becoming a Co-Sponsor of the Families For Orphans Act (Senate Bill 1458 and House Bill 3070).”

More Information
For detailed information on the Families For Orphans Act visit:
The Joint Council website (http://www.jcics.org)

Related posts

• The Perception Of Adoption In History (2)
• Haitian Adoptions Jeopardized By Disaster (5)
• Adoption Options (0)
• Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption Awards $7.75 Million in 2009 Grants (1)
• Dave Thomas Foundation (0)