Tuesday’s earthquake has thrown U.S. families trying to bring home their children into a state of uncertainty. Many are finding themselves in a desperate search for answers about how their children, that they are in the process of adopting, are faring. Some fear that paperwork, which can take months or years, may be buried or lost in crumpled buildings, stalling or halting the adoption.

Unlike adoptions in many other countries, where parents learn the identities of their children rather late in the process, Haitian adoptions typically match parents up with children near the beginning. That gives parents the opportunity to travel to Haiti multiple times during the adoption process to spend time with their children and bond with them.

The waiting game had been hard enough before Tuesday’s earthquake, with parents worrying daily about malnourished sons and daughters they had already come to know quite well. But since the earthquake, many have no way of knowing whether their children are alive or dead.

For parents who have gotten word that their children are still alive, the worries are far from over. They’re terrified that food and water supplies will run out for their already compromised kids, and they’re filled with dread that the lengthy and cumbersome adoption process in Haiti is about to become much longer.

The U.S. State Department said that it is working with the Department of Homeland Security to determine how to handle the cases of the 254 Haitian children who are in the process of being adopted into U.S. homes. Adopting parents can send their information, including the names of their children and orphanages, to AskCI@state.gov, so the State Department has a good way to contact parents. Click for more information on the adoption process in Haiti.

For people interested in adopting a Haitian child, the State Department issued the following statement on the issue:

The State Department has received calls from Americans offering to open their homes and adopt Haitian children in need.

It is extremely difficult in circumstances such as this to determine whether children who appear to be orphans are eligible for adoption. Children may be temporarily separated from parents and other family. It is particularly difficult to fulfill the U.S. and local requirements for legal adoption when civil authority is handicapped in its ability ensure the best interests of children and their families have been protected. For now, U.S. citizens can best help the children of Haiti through financial contribution to the relief effort.

Adoptions from Haiti make up a fraction of international adoptions to the United States each year, but the number has been growing steadily as countries such as China and Guatemala have slowed or closed to international adoption in recent years. The U.S. State Department issued 330 immigrant visas to Haitian children last year, up from 96 in 1999.

Related posts

• Adoption As A First Option (pt. 1) (0)
• We Belong Together: A Book About Adoption and Families (10)
• Baby Shower for Adopting Parents (0)
• Watch The Adoption Angles Webcast Tonight (0)
• Families For Orphans Act (0)

Traveling To Meet Your Child:
Written by Debbie Schwartz, who is a tremendous asset to our adoption forum and is the Program Coordinator for Adoption Connection at Jewish Family Services of Greenwich in Connecticut.

Congratulations!  After all of your hard work, the time to travel to meet your child is finally here (or almost here).  Since you can expect to be overtired, a little anxious, and, quite possibly, overwhelmed, a little advance planning can go a long way toward helping you cope. In order to help you prepare for your trip, here are a few of our favorite tips and tricks to make your adoption travel less stressful.  International travelers should check with their country program coordinator for any specific items that may be required.

Domestic Travel

First – and most important – keep in mind that anything you forget (or decide you can’t live without) can be purchased at local supermarkets, drugstores, and baby/children’s stores such as Babies ‘R’ Us.

Anticipating an extended stay?  Ship a small box of essential items ahead of time. If you’re traveling with an older sibling, this is a great way to be sure s/he will have some favorite books and toys to play with while you wait for permission to return home.  Clothes that will only be used in your destination city (e.g. bathing suits if you’re traveling to a warm climate from a winter one) are a great example of items you can send by parcel post.  Ask your local agency or attorney about short-term rental apartments or extended stay hotels.

Go to the bank before you leave. Don’t forget a few rolls of quarters (great for laundry machines) and singles for tipping in the airports.  You’ll have your hands full, especially on the return trip.  Pamper yourself and let a porter carry your luggage.

You may be able to attend the birth of your child.  If you are planning to be in the delivery room, pack some snacks and a sweatshirt!  Labor can take a long time – you might need a quick granola bar to tide you over – and delivery rooms tend to be kept at cooler temperatures.  Don’t forget a camera, but be sure to talk to your birthmother ahead of time to see how she feels about pictures.  Remember that even if the two of you agreed to something ahead of time, she may feel differently in the moment.  Respecting her wishes – and her privacy – is the most important part of building a positive relationship with her.  (Don’t be afraid to ask to cut the umbilical cord!)

If you expect to be spending time at the hospital, ask your agency or attorney or call the hospital social worker to find out their adoption policies.  Most hospitals will allow prospective adoptive parents to attend the daily classes for new mothers, covering topics such as feeding, diapering, and bathing newborns.   Be sure to request the new baby “care package” from the nursery.  Typically this freebie includes an insulated diaper bag, diapers, bulb syringe, and other items.  The hospital will also give you infant formula in glass bottles and disposable nipples.  Take as much as they will give you!

Many hospitals ban cell phone use. Prepaid phone cards are a great way to keep in touch if you need to use a pay phone (yes, they still exist) or a hospital phone.  If you have a telephone calling card linked to your home phone, be sure to memorize the code or write it down and bring it with you.  On a similar note, make sure you have the remote codes for your answering machine or voice mail system.  If you’re out of town longer than expected, you’ll need to be able to delete, rewind, and playback messages as well as change your outgoing announcement to share your good news.

Adopting a newborn? Be sure you have an infant car seat!  You can research ahead of time to decide what brand and style you want.  Either purchase at home and take it with you or order in advance and arrange to pick it up at a store in your destination city.  If you’re superstitious and don’t want to buy one ahead of time, you can borrow from a friend – but be sure the car seat is less than five years old and has not been involved in any car accidents.  Even a minor fender bender can cause invisible stress fractures inside the seat – making it unsafe in case of another, even minor, accident.  Be sure to ask your local police department to show you how to install a car seat properly before leaving home.

Use the internet wisely. A little advance research into your destination city can provide tourist information (helpful for finding places to entertain older siblings, for example) and maps.  Find out in advance if your hotel or apartment will have internet access.  Otherwise, investigate other options such as the nearest public library or stores such as Kinko’s (which charge a small internet access fee).  Be sure to pack a USB cable (if necessary) so that you can download photos from your digital camera and send them to family and friends waiting impatiently at home.

International Travel

Your agency or country program coordinator will provide you with a suggested packing list.  Be sure to pack everything they suggest that you bring…they’re the experts!

In addition, plan ahead for minor medical issues.  Pack a thermometer and make sure you know how to use it before you travel.  Bring infant or children’s Tylenol.  Know which one you are carrying and how to determine the correct dose (by weight) for your child.  If the child is over six months of age, ask your pediatrician to recommend an over-the-counter decongestant that will be safe for you to use if necessary.  Ask your pharmacist for an infant dosing syringe (there’s no needle) and a children’s dosing spoon.  Write down the correct dose by weight for each medication you have with you.  Consult your pediatrician or an international adoption medical professional to decide whether to carry antibiotics.  Carry your pediatrician’s phone number with you.

Do not bring baby formula from home unless instructed to do so by your international agency or country program coordinator.  Keep your child on his/her current diet until you return home. Be sure to ask the local program staff for a list of current foods (for older children) or for current feeding quantities (for babies still on formula).  Pack a few vinyl bibs, especially if you are adopting an older child. These wipe clean easily!

In each suitcase pack some clothes for each person traveling.  If one suitcase is lost en route, you will still have some clothes to wear.  Pack clothes in a few different sizes for your child.  If you find that some are too small for him/her when you arrive, donate them to the orphanage or children’s home.  Make copies of each traveler’s passport and place them inside each suitcase in case of emergency.  Include an emergency contact name and phone number.  Add extra copies of your passport photos in case your passports need to be replaced.  Place all of this into a sealed plastic bag.

Put the “drug bag” into your carry-on and be sure to include anti-diarrheal medicine, antacid, cold medicine, and antibiotics (for adults).  Bring copies of prescriptions for any prescription medicine you are carrying.  Go online the week before you travel to check for any updates or changes to travel restrictions (e.g. quantity of liquids, etc.).

Invest in quality hand-held luggage carts. These will prove invaluable in terms of navigating airports and train stations – especially once you are also carrying a child.  Consider purchasing a sling or other soft-sided baby carrier.  These store flat in your luggage and promote bonding with your new child.  Be sure you know how to assemble and wear the carrier properly before leaving home.  Practice with a friend’s child of similar age and size if possible!

Go to the bank before you leave.Purchase travelers checks.  Ask if your ATM card can be used overseas and whether your PIN code needs an extension.  (In many countries PIN codes are six digits.)  Don’t forget singles for tipping in the airports.  You’ll have your hands full, especially on the return trip.  Pamper yourself and let a porter carry your luggage.

Be sure you can phone home. Call your cellular phone company to find out if your phone can be used overseas.  Check with your telephone calling card company to find out how to dial home from your destination country.  Consider purchasing prepaid phone cards for use overseas.

Pack duct tape and a bath towel. Depending on where you are traveling, the towels may be small and rough.  The duct tape?  Hey, you never know!  Good for everything from fixing ripped luggage to creating a small, hacky-sack type of ball to distract a cranky child (or partner!), the duct tape may just keep you sane in a moment of insanity.

Domestic and International Travel

Take an extra suitcase – the type that folds flat inside your suitcase – since you are likely to be coming home with more things than you took with you.  Also be sure to pack a copy of the book “What to Expect the First Year” or “What to Expect the Toddler Years” so you have a quick reference by your side.  Pack your camera or camcorder (or both).  Include the USB cable if necessary.  Don’t forget extra batteries!

Pack a night light or a flashlight! In unfamiliar surroundings, late night feedings and diaper changes will be a lot easier if you shed some light on the subject.  Having a night light or flashlight handy means you don’t have to wake your spouse/partner or travel companion, which is helpful if you’re working in shifts.  Keeping the lights low also helps keep newborns sleepy!  Pack power food such as granola bars, nutrition bars, or trail mix to keep you going.

For the return trip, be sure to pack extra formula or food.  You never know when a flight will be delayed or canceled.  If you’re stuck in an airport, especially overseas, you may not be able to find what you’re looking for.  Call ahead of time to see if a pediatrician’s note is necessary for your infant (especially a newborn) to fly.  Also check with the airline about special customer service to waive penalties or other special considerations for adoption travel.

Don’t forget that you’ll need extra time to do absolutely everything on the return.  Even if you are already a parent, you’re not used to traveling with this child.  It takes longer to do things with an infant or child but don’t worry, you’ll learn quickly!

The diaper bag counts as a carry-on, so plan accordingly.  However, if your baby or child has a paid ticket, s/he’s entitled to a carry-on, too.  Babies travel half-price if you buy a seat.  For a toddler, bring an umbrella stroller.  The airline will gate check the umbrella stroller as you board the plane and return it to you as you exit.

Leave someone the keys to your house, especially if you leave on short notice.  Have all of your important paperwork (copies of passports, adoption-related documents, travelers check ID numbers, etc.) in a folder or box on the kitchen table.  Be sure this person knows where to find everything in case they need to send or fax paperwork, etc.

Stock your freezer before you go. Pack food into one- or two-person serving containers.  You’ll want to be able to microwave a quick meal for yourself, not cook, once you return.  Leave a short “essentials” shopping list with a close friend or family member (e.g. milk, juice, etc.).  Ask them to purchase these items and have them waiting for you the day you return.

And the number one travel tip:  zip-lock bags!  Take a box of sandwich bags (for those breakable glass formula bottles) and a box of one gallon bags in your luggage.  On the way home, be sure to put some of each size in an easy-to-reach pocket of your carry-on bag.  Zip-lock bags are a necessity for emergencies such as leaky diapers, soiled clothes, and snacks.

Please be sure you have contact information for your agency/attorney/program coordinator with you.  They should be available to advise and support you while you are traveling to meet your child.  For domestic adoption, they can troubleshoot, if necessary, with the sending agency and can place calls on your behalf to interstate compact offices and, for international adoption, to embassy officials.

Finally, ENJOY! You only get to meet your child for the first time once in your life.  Make the most of it.

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• Paying For Adoption Costs (1)
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I know many couples come to adoption after being involved in fertility treatments. What about those, like myself, who decided to adopt before exploring other options? Tell us about your experience in the comment section. Here’s what some of our adoption forums members had to say;

“Years ago I was in a serious relationship with someone who, for political reasons, felt very strongly that he would never want to bring a child into this world when there were already so many children who needed families. I really thought I might marry this man, but I had always thought I would have children the “old-fashioned” way. In the end, our relationship didn’t survive (not because of this issue), but not before I had reached the conclusion that I could happily adopt a child someday.

My husband and I did not do anything to prevent pregnancy, but when it didn’t happen on its own, we moved directly to adoption, without pursuing any types of infertility treatment. We knew right away that our goal was to become parents – not pregnant – and adoption was an easy decision with that in mind.”

“I am a single parent. But even as a child, I was drawn to the idea of adoption. As soon as I began thinking of having a family, I always thought of adoption. I might have earlier thought of blending birth children and adopted children when I still thought I might marry.”

“I’ve always thought of adopting, but when I got married it wasn’t the first idea that came to mind in terms of forming our family. Then I gave birth to two kids, and that was wonderful. However, I’ve always thought three was the perfect number of children (maybe because there are three siblings in my family), and my husband and I had always agreed that it would be hard to justify bringing more than two kids into the world when it is already overpopulated, and considering that there are plenty of kids already out there without families. So when we decided not to have any more children by birth, we told ourselves that it didn’t mean “no more children at all.” And then, eventually, we decided to talk seriously about adoption, and one thing led to another…and here we are, expectant adopting parents of a four year old girl!

Another factor is knowing quite a few people in my immediate circle who have adopted–and adopted in a variety of configurations and ways (lesbian couple doing domestic adoption, single parent adopting internationally, hetero couple adopting internationally, “biracial” family doing transracial domestic adoption…) So we have had lots of vicarious experience to reinforce our initial inclination toward adoption.

I was also privileged to share closely in another person’s international adoption experience when I accompanied them overseas as a “support person” for the adoption. It was amazing to witness and be part of that process, even from the sidelines. I felt very strongly as I watched: “wow, giving birth was amazing, and this is also amazing, and I wish I could do this, too.” I feel extremely lucky because it seems I am going to have my wish.”

“As a child, my “fantasy” was not being a wife and mother, but being a mother with marriage as an afterthought. As I became a teenager I was made aware of different types of “orphans”…and began to solidify that I wanted to adopt when older no matter if I was single or married.

I was in a couple of relationships in my 20s and these guys didn’t want to adopt so I figured I would marry and have children like most people do. When these relationships didn’t end up in marriage I focused on eliminating my student loan debt and buying a home. When I completed that, I came to the realization that there is no perfect time to have children and that I could provide for a child, so adoption was an easy decision after that.

Now I’m just in the middle and although waiting is tough, I haven’t regretted my decision to date.”

“I always wanted to be a Father. From about the age of 12 I remembered telling people I was going to adopt and they laughed at me saying I will “want my own” child(ren) when I am old enough to know. Years have passed and I still want to adopt. My wife was on board for it as well. We know that fertility would be an issue for us and would require medical intervention if it was at all possible but we haven’t even bothered to try because we both agree that adoption is the only option for our family. People ask if we feel like we are missing out and we can genuinely say we don’t. The only time we think of having biological children is when we are sick of the wait but we know just because someone gets pregnant unfortunately does not equal a baby after the 9 months of waiting. I had a friend whose wife carried a baby full term when she delivered the baby was stillborn we were all devastated.
With that said we know adoption is our first and only real option.”

“When my second husband and I did not get pregnant (likely due to my age, he’s 10 yrs younger), we did not hesitate to call an adoption agency and get the ball rolling. There was no need for infertility clinics (and my doctor still felt at my age that it was a consideration). Adoption was never a “second choice” for our family. As an interracial couple, we knew there would be doors open for us and there certainly were as we went on to adopt 4 children. Although I had parented previously, my husband had not. But he says that with all of his heart, there is no way he ever looks back and wishes we could have had a biological child. Our 4 children are ours in every way possible and we are so very blessed!”

Continue on to Adoption As A First Option (pt.2)

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Anshula has recently come into an orphanage. She is four years old and alone. Where should she spend her childhood? In an orphanage? In temporary foster care? Or in a permanent and loving family?

The answer should be obvious: a safe, permanent and loving family. Unfortunately, the U.S. government and many aide organizations do not seem to agree. In fact, the U.S. sometimes spends millions of dollars, ensuring just the opposite. And while beloved organizations such as UNICEF keep millions of children alive, many believe it is better for children to live in temporary foster care than in a permanent family.

The children of our world need your help to make a change. They need your help to live in a permanent family. As a founding member of the Families For Orphans Coalition, Joint Council is proud to announce that the first step in making this much-needed change is upon us. In a bi-partisan effort, landmark legislation was introduced into Congress, which will ensure that U.S. government programs, policies and funding are directed towards a singular goal: a permanent family for every child.

The Families For Orphans Act (Senate Bill 1458 and House Bill 3070), sponsored by Senators Mary Landrieu (D-LA) and James Inhofe (R-OK) along with Representatives Diana Watson (D-CA) and John Boozman (R-AR) demonstrates our collective commitment to the millions of children living outside of permanent parental care and proactively address a global gap in the most basic of human rights – the right to a permanent family.

While the introduction of the legislation is an important first step, there is much more to be done. Now we must ensure that the Families For Orphans Act becomes the law of the United States. To do this, your voice is needed. Speak for those to cannot speak for themselves by supporting the Families For Orphans Act and joining our Call To Action.

What can you do?

Sign the Families For Orphans petition, make three simple phone calls, and get the word out! Here are the details…

1. Sign our Petition!
Sign the Joint Council Families for Orphans Petition
The Petition will be delivered to the U.S. Congress

2. Call Congress!
On July 28th, 29th, and 30th, call your three Members of Congress (two in the Senate and one in the House of Representatives).
You can find your Representative at http://www.house.gov/
You can find you Senators’ at http://www.senate.gov/
Ask to speak with the Legislative Director or Chief of Staff
For maximum effect, we are asking you to make these calls within this 72-hour window!

3. Get the word out!
Send this email to friends and family. Post to your Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, blog or website

What should you say or write to your Members of Congress?
This is an issue that is critical to children in need, so speak from your heart. Tell them why ensuring more children living in families is so important to you! Ask your Senators and Representatives to become a Co-Sponsor of the Families for Orphans Act. Please feel free to use the following text as a guideline when speaking with your Members of Congress.

“As a constituent of we are requesting that you support the Families For Orphans Act by becoming a Co-Sponsor of the legislation. For information on becoming a Co-Sponsor, please contact Senator Mary Landrieu, Senator James Inhofe, Representative Diane Watson or Representative John Boozman. Thank you for representing your constituents by becoming a Co-Sponsor of the Families For Orphans Act (Senate Bill 1458 and House Bill 3070).”

More Information
For detailed information on the Families For Orphans Act visit:
The Joint Council website (http://www.jcics.org)

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Update: Debbie, one of our adoption forum members shared a sample letter. I posted it at the bottom.

Update #2: A list of email addresses has been added at the bottom of this post.

One of our adoption forum members brought this to our attention (thanks Debbie!) and I am passing it along to anyone who may be interested. I’m also adding my personal thoughts, which I shared on our adoption forum, at the end of this post.

There is a horror slasher film being released July 24 (Orphan) about a family who adopts an older girl who “is not what she appears to be. Warnings about her go unheeded until it is too late…for everyone”. The film is being promoted now (http://orphan-movie.warnerbros.com) and the adoption message being sent is extremely negative. There is actually a line in the trailer that says “it must be hard to love an adopted child as much as your own”.
Without having seen the movie or read the script, it is hard to know if the entire movie is sending a ghastly adoption message, but the trailer certainly leads us to believe it is. This feeds the notion that older adoptees are very troubled and you should beware…. that’s not an image any of us want the general public to have of our kids. It plays into people’s deepest fears.

There is a growing group pursuing a boycott of the film, sending out emails and posting on online bulletin boards. I urge you to forward this email to others personally involved in adoption, help disseminate the boycott message and write to the producers and distributors expressing your displeasure with the message being sent.
The backers of this movie have deep pockets. It is being released by Dark Castle Entertainment with Warner Bros. set to distribute. Leonardo DiCaprio’s Appian Way, which developed the material, is also producing.

Here are my personal thoughts;

I just watched the trailer. Looks like the type of movie I would love…..dark and creepy. That line about it being hard to love an adopted child as much as your own is actually said by the adopted girl herself, who is obviously psychotic.

I have two thoughts about this movie……

If people take this movie as a serious portrayal of what older child adoption could be, it might actually be a good thing. There are seriously damaged older kids being adopted into families that have no idea what their in for and once the papers are signed, these families are on their own. I adopted three older kids and luckily, my two younger ones are fine, but my son is one fucked up kid. I hide my butcher knives and scissors in my bedroom because I don’t trust him. I am seeing a lot of sociopathic behaviors in him as he gets older. Maybe after this movie comes out, the concerns of those of us who have adopted troubled kids will be taken more seriously. I actually had a counselor at the facility my son is at, tell me to examine my parenting as a cause of my son’s behavior. After all this time of going through the system’s red tape trying to get help for him and telling anyone who will listen that something is wrong with him (much like the line from the movie; ‘There’s something wrong with Ester’), this man who never met me wants me to carry some of the blame. Needless to say, I hung up on him, (which I’m sure they’ll write up as me being a ‘hostile parent who has anger issues’) but there’s many more who think like him. If there’s one thing that comes out of this movie, I hope it’s that we (those of us who adopt older troubled kids) adopt these kids with all good intentions and then we get very little support and back up from teachers/therapists/cops/judges, etc.

That girl reminded me a lot of my son Very charming and polite in the beginning, able to keep that facade up when needed. Then something happens that she doesn’t like and rage kicks in. That rage in the toilet stall scene is what we live with when he doesn’t get his way.

Is all older child adoption like this?…of course not. I have two kids that prove it doesn’t. My daughters were adopted at the ages of 5 and 8 and are nothing like this movie.

My other thought is….it’s a horror movie made for entertainment and should be treated as such. If I got all bent out of shape every time someone portrayed “me” in a movie, I would be boycotting Goodfellas and The Soprano’s for how they show Italian-Americans.

I want to also add that the people boycotting have every right to do that and I back them 100%. I’m all for people speaking out when there is something they don’t agree with. Unlike channels like CNN and MSNBC who belittled people like myself who attended the recent tax day tea parties, I believe in the right to protest….even if I do not agree with their message.

My last thought is that this movie is nothing compared to the type of movie I would make about older child adoption. I plan on writing a book about my experience and if this movie is causing controversy and it’s not even real, they can’t handle my truth.

Update: Here is a sample letter to send to Warner Bros.

May {XX}, 2009

Barry M. Meyer
Warner Bros. Movies
4000 Warner Blvd.
Burbank, CA 91522

Dear Mr. Meyer and Producers of the movie Orphan:

“It must be hard to love an adopted child as much as your own.”

Writing as a parent of an adopted child, I strongly urge you to remove this line from your film, “Orphan” and, especially, from all of your trailers. This line implies that an adopted child is not the parents’ child and, for anyone in an adoptive family, is very hurtful. Additionally, anyone seeing the film- or the trailer containing this line of dialogue- could promulgate such a hurtful expression and spread it like a virus, creating emotional distress for adoptive families everywhere.

In this day and age, when movie trailers are “sanitized” so that they can be shown before any movie, regardless of the MPAA rating, your trailer is likely to be seen and heard by young children and their families. For adoptive families, and especially for young children who joined their families through adoption, this line has the potential to cause serious trauma.

So, I will also ask you to look inside your heart and then look, again, at your film and see if there are other scenes that can create a negative stigma for adoptive families and please make changes to eliminate or, at the very least, reduce the damage. If you have any question about what might be considered hurtful, please contact Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute as I know they would be happy to help you.

I understand your film has already been completed and asking you to make wholesale changes at this point, just a couple of months before it is released, is probably unrealistic. That is why I am pleading with you to simply show some sensitivity and limit the damage your film will do to anyone who has an adopted child in their family and at least make these changes to the trailer.

I believe you would prefer not having adoptive families around the world virally warning each other of the damaging depictions contained in your movie and encouraging all their friends and family members not to patronize “Orphan.” No filmmaker would like the headline “Movie Called Harmful to Adoptive Families” associated with their film- least of all Mr. DiCaprio who, until now, has maintained a very positive public image.

Please reply and let me know what you have decided to do with your “Orphan.”

Along with adoptive families around the world, I look forward to hearing of your decision. Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,
{Name}

email addresses:
Alan Horn, President and Chief Operating Officer
alan.horn@warnerbros.com
Barry Meyer, Chairman and Chief Executive Officer
barry.meyer@warnerbros.com
Susan Fleishman, Executive Vice President, Worldwide Corporate Communications and Public Affairs
susan.fleishman@warnerbros.com
Jeff Robonov, President, Warner Bros. Pictures Group
jeff.robonov@warnerbros.com
Dan Fellman, President, Domestic Distribution, Warner Bros. Pictures
dan.fellman@warnerbros.com

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Adoption Options At-a-Glance : A Companion Guide for Families
Year Published: 2003

This guide focuses on one way to think about how choices in adoption may flow from one another:

There are two types of adoption: domestic and intercountry.

Domestic Adoption:

Agency Oversight: Agency oversight varies from licensed and accredited agencies to unregulated facilitators.

Voluntary Surrender or Termination of Parental Rights (TPR): Children are legally freed for adoption either through voluntary relinquishment or involuntary termination of the parental rights of their birth parents.

Child Characteristics: Every age child is available, including sibling groups of multiple ages. Children may be healthy or may have special physical or mental health needs.

Cost: Cost ranges from free or very little to $40,000 or more.

Potential Wait: Waits can be unpredictable and range from very short to 2 years or more.

Adoptive Parent Characteristics: Adoptive parent characteristics sought by birth parents vary. Specific characteristics have been found common to successful adoptive parents of children from foster care.

Post-Placement Support: Post-placement support varies from none to a wide array of services.

Potential Birth Parent Involvement/Access to Family History: The more “open” the adoption, the more potential access to a child’s birth family history.

Intercountry Adoption

Agency Oversight: Agencies facilitating intercountry adoptions must adhere to U.S. State and Federal regulations and regulations of the child’s country of origin.

Voluntary Surrender or Termination of Parental Rights (TPR): For immigration purposes, children must be considered “orphans” to be adopted.

Child Characteristics: Depending on the country, children available for adoption may include infants, school-aged children, sibling groups, and those with special needs due to parental substance abuse, poverty, or institutionalization.

Cost: Costs range from $7,000 to $30,000 or more, depending on the country and number of trips required.

Potential Wait: Waits vary depending on the country. Some countries are able to predict time from “matching” to “placement” so families can plan their lives accordingly.

Adoptive Parent Characteristics: Requirements for adoptive parents are country-specific regarding age, marital status, background, number of children in family, and other characteristics.

Post-Placement Support: Post-placement support ranges from none, to post-placement visits and required reports to the child’s country of origin, to country-specific adoptive parent support groups.

Potential Birth Parent Involvement/Access to Family History: Agency oversight varies from licensed and accredited agencies to unregulated facilitators.

If we adopt domestically, what type of adoption is best for our family?

Two types of domestic adoption are domestic infant adoption and foster care adoption.

Domestic Infant Adoption

Agency Oversight: Oversight varies from accredited and licensed agencies to unregulated facilitators.

Voluntary Surrender or Termination of Parental Rights (TPR): Most domestic infant adoptions are voluntary on the part of birth parents.

Child Characteristics: Health status of domestic infants can vary greatly depending on prenatal care, substance abuse, genetics, etc.

Cost: Costs range from $5,000 to $40,000 or more depending on the agency or facilitator and State laws regarding allowable expenses.

Potential Wait: Wait varies greatly depending on the kind of child a family is looking for, timing of the family’s home study documents and child’s need, and birth parents’ choices of adoptive parents.

Adoptive Parent Characteristics: Agencies may have specific requirements regarding faith (if a faith-based agency), age, marital status, or other characteristics.

Post-Placement Support: Post-adoption support varies greatly from none to support groups for families and children.

Potential Birth Parent Involvement/Access to Family History: Many adoptions involve some level of contact between birth and adoptive families. Access to history varies greatly depending on the situation and type of agency or facilitator.

Foster Care Adoption

Agency Oversight: Foster care adoptions can occur through public social service agencies (overseen by the State) or licensed private agencies (must meet State licensing standards and may be accredited).

Voluntary Surrender or Termination of Parental Rights (TPR): Most children are freed for adoption by the involuntary termination of their birth parents’ rights. Each State has its own Termination of Parental Rights (TPR) law.

Child Characteristics: Most children in foster care are older children or sibling groups of different ages. The average age of a waiting child is over 8 years old.

Cost: Foster care adoption may be free or involve minimal fees, such as attorney costs, which can often be reimbursed.Federal or State adoption subsidies may also be available depending on the child’s special needs.

Potential Wait: The wait for placement of children from foster care varies greatly depending on the type of child(ren) the family hopes to adopt and the family’s ability to meet the child(ren)’s needs.

Adoptive Parent Characteristics: Qualities of families who successfully adopt children from the foster care system include flexible expectations and a tolerance for rejection.

Post-Placement Support: Post-adoption support may include Federal or State adoption subsidies, foster/adoptive parent support groups, respite care, individual or family therapy, and other services.

Potential Birth Parent Involvement/Access to Family History: Potential birth parent involvement varies from none to regular contact with the birth family (if in child’s best interest).Agencies generally share all they know regarding a child’s birth family history.

If we choose domestic infant adoption, who will assist our family?

Professionals who assist families with domestic infant adoption include licensed private agencies, independent attorneys, and facilitated/unlicensed agencies.

Licensed Private Agency Adoption

Agency Oversight: Licensed agencies must meet State or other licensing standards.

Voluntary Surrender or Termination of Parental Rights (TPR): Varies by State and type of adoption. Agencies must have surrenders and/or termination of parental rights for both the birth mother and father.

Child Characteristics: Licensed private agencies may place domestic infants, children in foster care, orchildren from other countries.

Cost: Generally the expenses are predictable and will be known up front. Cost ranges from nothing to $40,000 or more.

Potential Wait: The wait for a child varies greatly; intercountry adoptions may have more “predictable” waiting periods.

Adoptive Parent Characteristics: Adoptive parent characteristics vary depending on the type of adoption and child requested.

Post-Placement Support: Post-adoption support varies depending on the region, agency resources, type of adoption, and needs of the child.

Potential Birth Parent Involvement/Access to Family History: The “openness” of the adoption varies by agency, type of adoption, and preferences of all involved.

Independent (Attorney) Adoption

Agency Oversight: Independent adoptions generally do not involve as much oversight as adoptions with licensed agencies. They must comply with State laws and regulations (not all States allow for this type of adoption). Assisting attorneys must adhere to the standards of the State’s Bar Association.

Voluntary Surrender or Termination of Parental Rights (TPR): Generally voluntary relinquishments by birth mothers and/or birth fathers. Situations will vary by laws of the involved States.

Child Characteristics: Characteristics of children placed independently can vary greatly due to prenatal care and genetics.

Cost: Costs can be unpredictable but generally average between $10,000 and $15,000. State law regulates allowable expenses (e.g., birth mother’s medical care).

Potential Wait: Time to find a potential match and have a child placed is unpredictable and may be shorter or longer than a wait for an infant placement through a licensed private agency.

Adoptive Parent Characteristics: Since expectant parents choose a family, adoptive parents’ characteristics depend on individual expectant or birth parent’s wishes.

Post-Placement Support: Post-placement support varies depending on the region and the child’s needs.

Potential Birth Parent Involvement/Access to Family History: Birth and adoptive families have direct contact with one another, often allowing for exchange of medical and family history.

Facilitated/Unlicensed Agency Adoption

Agency Oversight: This type of adoption involves the least amount of oversight. Some States regulate facilitators, while in other States anyone can declare themselves to be an “adoption facilitator.”

Voluntary Surrender or Termination of Parental Rights (TPR): Generally voluntary relinquishments by birth mothers and/or birth fathers. Situations will vary by laws of the involved States.

Child Characteristics: The health status of domestic infants vary greatly, as with any newborn, due to prenatal care, genetics, etc.

Cost: Expenses are regulated by State law but can still be unpredictable. Facilitated adoptions can cost as much or more than licensed private agency adoptions.

Potential Wait: The wait can vary tremendously depending on the situation and involved parties.

Adoptive Parent Characteristics: Since expectant parents often choose a family through a facilitator, adoptive parents’ age and other characteristics will depend a great deal on the individual expectant or birth parents’ wishes.

Post-Placement Support: Post-placement services vary depending on the region, agency resources, and the child’s needs.

Potential Birth Parent Involvement/Access to Family History: Birth parent involvement and access to the child’s family history vary depending on the facilitator and the wishes of involved parties.

National Adoption Information Clearinghouse.

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