“He is medically fragile and when we learned that he would not be able to return to his birth parents and that they couldn’t find a home for him, our hearts just broke,” Stephanie Hayes said. It not only broke their hearts, it spurred them to action. The Hayes decided that Jaylan should have a permanent home and they went up to UAB Medical Center to get their son.

Doctors predicted that the now 30-month-old Jaylan wouldn’t make it, but he is thriving under the care of his parents. And they’re enjoying the love that he’s brought to their home. Henry said Jaylan could have never gotten the care that he needed if it weren’t for foster care, and that’s why it’s so important that more people open their homes and become foster parents.

State officials hope more people in Alabama will hear that message and be spurred to action. The state celebrated a milestone of finalizing 676 adoptions in fiscal 2009, more than it has ever had before. Many of the adoptions were by families such as the Hayeses, who were already caring for foster children.

Department of Human Resources Commissioner Nancy Buckner said that creates not only a need for more families willing to adopt, but more families willing to provide foster care for children. There are 650 children in foster care who are waiting for their adoptions to be finalized, and there are more than 250 children waiting for someone to step forward and say that they will adopt a child.

“We are spreading the message that there is an urgency for permanency,” Buckner said. It’s a message that Laura Murdock and Mary Williams, both of Montgomery, heeded. Murdock provided foster care for two little boys and when they became eligible for adoption, she said it was the best decision for everyone. The boys had been back and forth between her home and that of a family member’s, and she wanted them with her forever. “I’d had them off and on since they were little,” she said. “We just fell in love with each other and that was it.”

Williams said being a foster parent is one of the best decisions that she ever made. Back in 2002 she opened her home to four siblings, and when they became eligible for adoption she jumped at the chance to give them a permanent home. Those children are now 18, 16 and the twins are 15, and Williams said she’s ready to start all over again. “They’ve brought a lot of joy to my life and they’ve just been a wonderful blessing,” she said.

To learn more about foster care or adoptions in the state of Alabama, call 1-800-4AL-KIDS. or visit their site.

Related posts

• Adoption As A First Option (pt. 1) (0)
• A Home For The Holidays: 12/23/09 (0)
• Event To End Florida Gay Adoption Ban (2)
• Baby Shower for Adopting Parents (1)
• Watch The Adoption Angles Webcast Tonight (0)

“Years ago I was in a serious relationship with someone who, for political reasons, felt very strongly that he would never want to bring a child into this world when there were already so many children who needed families. I really thought I might marry this man, but I had always thought I would have children the “old-fashioned” way. In the end, our relationship didn’t survive (not because of this issue), but not before I had reached the conclusion that I could happily adopt a child someday.

My husband and I did not do anything to prevent pregnancy, but when it didn’t happen on its own, we moved directly to adoption, without pursuing any types of infertility treatment. We knew right away that our goal was to become parents – not pregnant – and adoption was an easy decision with that in mind.”

“I am a single parent. But even as a child, I was drawn to the idea of adoption. As soon as I began thinking of having a family, I always thought of adoption. I might have earlier thought of blending birth children and adopted children when I still thought I might marry.”

“I’ve always thought of adopting, but when I got married it wasn’t the first idea that came to mind in terms of forming our family. Then I gave birth to two kids, and that was wonderful. However, I’ve always thought three was the perfect number of children (maybe because there are three siblings in my family), and my husband and I had always agreed that it would be hard to justify bringing more than two kids into the world when it is already overpopulated, and considering that there are plenty of kids already out there without families. So when we decided not to have any more children by birth, we told ourselves that it didn’t mean “no more children at all.” And then, eventually, we decided to talk seriously about adoption, and one thing led to another…and here we are, expectant adopting parents of a four year old girl!

Another factor is knowing quite a few people in my immediate circle who have adopted–and adopted in a variety of configurations and ways (lesbian couple doing domestic adoption, single parent adopting internationally, hetero couple adopting internationally, “biracial” family doing transracial domestic adoption…) So we have had lots of vicarious experience to reinforce our initial inclination toward adoption.

I was also privileged to share closely in another person’s international adoption experience when I accompanied them overseas as a “support person” for the adoption. It was amazing to witness and be part of that process, even from the sidelines. I felt very strongly as I watched: “wow, giving birth was amazing, and this is also amazing, and I wish I could do this, too.” I feel extremely lucky because it seems I am going to have my wish.”

“As a child, my “fantasy” was not being a wife and mother, but being a mother with marriage as an afterthought. As I became a teenager I was made aware of different types of “orphans”…and began to solidify that I wanted to adopt when older no matter if I was single or married.

I was in a couple of relationships in my 20s and these guys didn’t want to adopt so I figured I would marry and have children like most people do. When these relationships didn’t end up in marriage I focused on eliminating my student loan debt and buying a home. When I completed that, I came to the realization that there is no perfect time to have children and that I could provide for a child, so adoption was an easy decision after that.

Now I’m just in the middle and although waiting is tough, I haven’t regretted my decision to date.”

“I always wanted to be a Father. From about the age of 12 I remembered telling people I was going to adopt and they laughed at me saying I will “want my own” child(ren) when I am old enough to know. Years have passed and I still want to adopt. My wife was on board for it as well. We know that fertility would be an issue for us and would require medical intervention if it was at all possible but we haven’t even bothered to try because we both agree that adoption is the only option for our family. People ask if we feel like we are missing out and we can genuinely say we don’t. The only time we think of having biological children is when we are sick of the wait but we know just because someone gets pregnant unfortunately does not equal a baby after the 9 months of waiting. I had a friend whose wife carried a baby full term when she delivered the baby was stillborn we were all devastated.
With that said we know adoption is our first and only real option.”

“When my second husband and I did not get pregnant (likely due to my age, he’s 10 yrs younger), we did not hesitate to call an adoption agency and get the ball rolling. There was no need for infertility clinics (and my doctor still felt at my age that it was a consideration). Adoption was never a “second choice” for our family. As an interracial couple, we knew there would be doors open for us and there certainly were as we went on to adopt 4 children. Although I had parented previously, my husband had not. But he says that with all of his heart, there is no way he ever looks back and wishes we could have had a biological child. Our 4 children are ours in every way possible and we are so very blessed!”

Continue on to Adoption As A First Option (pt.2)

Related posts

• Watch The Adoption Angles Webcast Tonight (0)
• Haitian Adoptions Jeopardized By Disaster (5)
• Baby Shower for Adopting Parents (1)
• Alabama Adoption (2)
• Adoption Myths (1)