On the Outside Looking In: The Adoptive Parent Exp...

Written by Keadie People often wonder why adoptive and preadoptive parents need support. It is assumed that adoptive parents have “all the joy and none of the pain”. Many have no idea what trials and tribulations adoptive families endure to “become real”. The devastation of childlessness can be a crippling disability, terribly misunderstood. Pre-adoptive parents seek to share their joy with their...

The Joys and Challenges of Parenting Special Needs...

When I tell people that I have adopted, and that my daughter has special needs, almost always the response is some variation of, “And you didn’t know that before you adopted her?” as if to expect some horror story. But yes of course, we knew fully that she had autism and global delays before we even applied to adopt her. We were emotionally prepared for that. And she is perfect in our eyes. As our daughter...

Adoptees: Choices, Not Blankets

It’s presumptuous to make a blanket statement about any group of people. It’s inappropriate to assume that an individual will like or dislike something without first getting his or her input. Then why are blanket statement being made about open vs. closed adoption? The unbiased truth about the matter is, there are voices from all triad sides proclaiming the merits of both, yes both. While this country proudly...

The Adoption Agency/Parent Relationship and its Ef...

Perhaps it was what somebody said before you started the adoption process. Perhaps it was the response to one of your answers. Maybe it was a personal comment that your social worker shared about parenting choices. Or, it could be an agency’s statement of beliefs or policies which put you on the guard. The fact is, our relationships with adoption professionals can shape how our attachment process will be to our future...

Adoption Travel Tips

Traveling To Meet Your Child: Written by Debbie Schwartz, who is a tremendous asset to our adoption forum and is the Program Coordinator for Adoption Connection at Jewish Family Services of Greenwich in Connecticut. Congratulations!  After all of your hard work, the time to travel to meet your child is finally here (or almost here).  Since you can expect to be overtired, a little anxious, and, quite possibly,...

Adoption Myths

A few months ago, we had a conversation on the adoption forums about what we felt were the most common myths about adoption, specifically about those of us who adopt a child. One of the myths that was posted several times was about adoption being a “last resort” or something we HAVE TO do: “All adoptive parents “have to” adopt because they can’t “have their own” children....

Paying For Adoption Costs

A blog visitor asked: I have been looking into adoption recently, and was discouraged about the costs. I would love any kind of advice, or information about making it more affordable. How can a lower income family afford it? I took the question to our adoption forum members and this is what they suggested: >>>>>>> This is tough. I have to say it seems to be getting harder to do each time we pursue it. Further, adoption costs...

Adoption: Getting The Word Out

Networking and communication is an important part of getting out the word that you’re looking to adopt. You never know how, or where you’ll connect with someone seeking an adoption plan for their unborn child. We asked our forum members how they go about spreading the word and we’d love to hear from our blog readers as well. Here’s what some of them suggested: We had spread our desire to adopt through...

How To Adopt A Child In The United States

In this article, I’ll list the basic steps on how to adopt a child in the United States, either through a private agency/attorney or from the state foster-to-adopt system. To adopt a baby/child from a private agency or attorney, I would suggest the following: 1. Seriously sit down and create a list of what you’re hoping for. Be honest with yourself. Believe me when I say that there are families for every baby. Don’t...

The Perception Of Adoption In History

Back in prior centuries, families were intentionally made large to assure that some children would reach adulthood. Many died of disease, hardship, or injuries. Likewise, mothers died in childbirth, contracted disease, or were injured. Motherless children were cared for by relatives, by a new wife, or by servants. When this was not possible, they became wards of society. There were many children living in poor farms among...

The Cost Of Adoption In The United States

If you’re just starting out on an adoption quest, it can seem VERY overwhelming, indeed! Adoption in the United States isn’t easy or quick. People hoping to adopt need to be well versed in what they’re looking for and what they’ll need to have in an agency, attorney or their foster care service…or any combination of those. Prospective parents first question is usually “how much does adoption cost in the United...

Let’s Get Real!

The term “real” is a source of frustration for those involved in adoption, and yet, people untouched by adoption continue to use it to refer to the biological parents. If you ask an adoptee who the “real” parents are, chances are the child will point to the actively parenting, adoptive parents. Mother’s Day and Father’s Day cards have words describing active parenting, nurturing qualities....

Tips on the Domestic Adoption Process

The two types of domestic adoption, infant and state waiting child, are very different and have completely different needs and requirements. Children who have waited in the Foster system have a traumatic past. That past involved the state trying to reunify the family under hardship circumstances until it became clear that keeping the biological family together was not in the child’s best interests. Any child, no matter...

What If The Child You’re Planning On Adoptin...

 The following scenario happens more often than you might guess; hopeful adoptive parents are pre-birth matched with an expectant mom, and the baby - either during delivery or born with unknown problems, is special needs. Besides being a shock to the hopeful adopting parents, the inevitable decision has to be made by them: “Do we now want to adopt this baby—or walk away?” While that kind of thinking might sound...

The What-If Game Of Adoption

You’re considering adopting a child. So much is going around in your mind! You know that there a few agencies in your state, and you call for information. You might get that “hooked like a fish” feeling, and you’re not getting the details that you want out of a first phone call. They want to set up a meeting. You politely hang up, but still leaving your contact information. So you sit there in your...

Debbie Schwartz Honored By The Congressional Coali...

All of us at Forever Parents are so proud of our friend Debbie Schwartz aka DebbieJFSG on our adoption forums, for being named one of this years Angels in Adoption. Congressman Jim Himes has selected Jewish Family Services Adoption Connection Program Coordinator Debbie Schwartz as a 2010 Angel in Adoption (TM) for her outstanding advocacy of adoption.  The Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute (CCAI), which...

Adoption and Breastfeeding

Much to many people’s surprise, breastfeeding a child that was adopted is not only an option, more and more women are choosing adoptive breastfeeding as a way to promote bonding and to have the shared experience with their baby. Here, three members of our adoption forums share their experiences about breastfeeding after adopting their child. Feel free to share your experience in a comment. 1) After breastfeeding our...