To adopt a baby/child from a private agency or attorney, I would suggest the following:

1. Seriously sit down and create a list of what you’re hoping for. Be honest with yourself. Believe me when I say that there are families for every baby. Don’t adopt across ethnic lines unless you’re prepared to deal with this easily. Don’t adopt a special needs baby unless you’re prepared to educate yourself on the various issues associated with this type of scenario and deal with special needs issues LIFE long. Stay with this list and don’t deviate unless you’ve done a lot of research and feel you can go beyond what you originally set for yourself.
Unlike birth, adoption usually allows you to choose specific special needs, gender and ethnicity.

2. Consider how much money you have to spend on adoption fees. Ask most parents who adopted domestically through private agencies/attorneys and they’ll probably tell you they had to turn down at least one situation because the fees weren’t in their price range. Realize that if you’re not even close to the fees most agencies/attorneys are charging these days, you’ll need to find ways to fund your adoption. Realize that even with the best planning, there can still be expenses you’d not expected. Be sure to have extra emergency funds, or know where you can borrow money if need be.

3. You’ll need a home study. Sit down with the phonebook and look up various agencies or attorneys in your area. If you live in a more isolated area, google “Adoption agencies in X area” and a list will be available for you. Copy that list. Sit down with the list, phone, pen and paper. Phone each agency/attorney and ask what they charge for a homestudy, do they network with other agencies/attorneys to find situations, if they charge a placement fee and if there are any additional charges.

4. Your home study will take approximately three months to complete. Sometimes this is done more quickly; sometimes it may take longer. The home study will consist of several things, not the least of which will be physicals (for you and spouse or partner); references, fingerprints, background checks and more. Realize that most of the time, your completed home study belongs to you! After all, you‘ve paid to have it done. While you may not be privy to everything written in it (most are, but some agencies are private about this), you should be free to have it sent to other agencies/attorneys if another situation should arise where you could be presented as a possible adoptive parent/s. It would be wise to ask an agency/attorney if they’ll allow you to have your home study sent (by them) to other situations from other agencies/attorneys. (A few agencies will only allow their clients to work within their own network. I would personally only choose one that allows its clients to network on their own and with other agencies/attorneys.)

6. It can be said that in order to help find your baby through a private agency or attorney, you’ll need to be proactive. By that, I mean it would serve you well to become active with online adoption groups (such as our own adoption support forums) to discuss agencies/attorneys and various avenues to find resources. You may find it overwhelming, but membership to a good online support system can go a long way to find a reputable adoption agency/attorney.
Other sites which may be helpful to find a reputable agency or attorney are:

http://www.adoptionagencyratings.com/

http://www.adoptionattorneys.org/

http://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/state/

To adopt from your state’s foster care system, I would suggest the following:

1. Just like adopting privately, sit down and decide the age, ethnicity and special needs of a child you want to adopt. This is especially important when adopting a child from the foster care system. A lot of children in the system have been sexually abused, endured physical abuse and/or have, or are still experiencing attachment difficulties. These issues should not be underestimated. Adopting a child from the foster care system requires a different type of parenting than the parenting required for infant adoption. Therefore, to adopt from the state, additional classes and education are often necessary to learn the skills and techniques to parent a child who’s been traumatized, hurt or simply left in the system too long. Be prepared. These children require more than love, patience and a parent/s. It’s often a good idea for those parenting these children to have a strong support system to confide in, as well as therapeutic resources to refer to.

2. Contact your local Department of Child and Family Services office and inquire about their educational classes that most states require prior to having a home study conducted before you can adopt. Your state may refer to this office as child protective services or child and family services, or some combination of those words. Each state is called something different.

3. Most of the educational classes will take between 4 and 8 weeks to complete (one meeting per week) . Realize right up front that adopting through the state foster care system often goes very slowly. The classes will contain topics such as how to deal with cross-ethnicity, how to parent a child who’s been sexually abused, and many more topics addressing the unique nature of adopting through the state foster care system. Additionally, these sessions will address the ages of children and specific issues that can arise with each age.
Along with classes from the state, I would strongly suggest a visit to a support group for parents who’ve adopted children from the foster care system. This type of group will be an invaluable resource to learn skills and techniques for parenting these special children.

4. Once you’ve completed the required classes (often referred to as MAPP or PRIDE classes, depending on which part of the nation you live in), a caseworker will be assigned to conduct your home study as well as help you in networking to find a an adoptable child through the foster care system. A state foster-to-adopt home study is free of charge as is adoption through the foster care system. Additionally, when/if you receive a child/baby through the foster care system, the child will usually receive a state Medicaid card to pay for medical expenses.

5. Realize that once you’ve completed your home study with the state foster care system, that home study cannot be used for a private adoption situation. While some agencies/attorneys will use the state foster-to-adopt home study as a guide to create a new home study for a private situation, very rarely would the state study be acceptable for a private agency.

6. Once you’ve completed all of the necessary paperwork, fingerprints, background clearances, and have a completed home study through the state, there are other ways to network to find your child. Many organizations are set up, free of charge to your state agency and you, in the hopes of finding families for adoptable children throughout the 50 states.

Adopt America Network
Dave Thomas Foundation
AdoptUS Kids
Each state has it’s own website for children as well:

http://www.comeunity.com/adoption/waiting/photolists.html

I hope these suggestions can help. Additional information can also be found by visiting our Adoption Questions and Information forums at Forever Parents.

Written by Linny

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Stop by and join our facebook group and become a fan of our facebook page . You’ll make connections with our blog readers and our adoption forum members. After you join, you can share the link to your adoption blog or business as long as it’s adoption friendly and not spam.

While you’re there, feel free to friend me! I’m also on twitter!

See you around the ‘net!

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All families change over time. Sometimes a baby is born, or a grown-up gets married. And sometimes a child gets placed in foster care. Children need to know that when this happens, it’s not their fault. When a child gets adopted they need to understand that they can remember and value their birth family and love their new family, too. Straightforward words and full-color illustrations offer hope and support for children facing or experiencing change. This title includes resources (more…)

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This blog has lots of information for parents who’ve adopted and those who are starting the process. Take a look at the “Posts Of Interest” in the right sidebar or you can use the tags in the left sidebar.

If you’re interested in joining our private adoption support forum, please scroll down to the next post.

Thanks!!

PS: If you’re the Marion County or the surrounding area and are looking to join an adoption support group, leave a comment here and I’ll put you in touch with the person running it.

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It’s important for those of us who adopted our children to interact (online or off) with others who understand and can empathize with us. Equally as important is for pre-adoptive parents to have a safe place to ask questions or vent. You are not alone.

The adoption forums at Forever Parents are private and there is a process to joining. The process is not hard or time consuming but it’s in place to help us determine if someone has ill intentions and wants to join for the wrong reasons. The privacy and comfortability of our members is our priority.

Another way that we help maintain a safe and caring environment is to require that all members participate. No, that doesn’t mean you have to post every day, it just means that you have to show an interest in our community and participate on a regular basis. This is especially important for new members that we haven’t gotten to know yet. Inactive members will be periodically removed.

Interested in joining?

1. Go to our adoption forums and click the link that says “register” in the upper left corner. We will have to approve your account before it can be activated.
2. Once your account has been approved, please post a little about your connection to adoption, in this forum. Your first post will have to be approved before it will be visible.
3. When your post has been approved, it will be moved into the rest of the forums (they’re private and can’t be seen) and you will be given full access.

If you have any problems with completing any of these steps, please don’t hesitate to leave a comment in this blog post.

Thanks and see you in the forums!

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Families will have the opportunity to think consciously about their roles in both the Jewish community and the adoption community while enjoying a weekend at one of the largest Jewish summer camps in North America. Since 1960, the Center for Jewish Family Life at the NJ Y Camps has provided top-rated programs for people looking for family fun and the chance to meet new people.

Parents will have the option to participate in workshops such as Children’s Books and Stories of Adoption, Identity Issues for Adoptees Approaching Bar/Bat Mitzvah, and Acceptance of Transracial Families in the Jewish Community, while their children participate in age-appropriate activities such as “W.I.S.E. Up workshops” or “Teen Adoptees Advocating for Adoption.” Adoption-specific workshops will be facilitated by Adoption Connection Director Steve Baranowski and Program Coordinator Debbie Schwartz, along with other adoption professionals who will share their experiences as Jewish parents by adoption, including Lisa Schuman, LCSW, director of Adoption Cooperative Consultants and staff psychotherapist for Reproductive Medicine Associates of New York, Marcia Hochman, MSW, Jewish Program Coordinator at Ametz Adoption Program, Jewish Child Care Association of New York, and Ellen Singer, LCSW-C, Adoption Program Specialist at The Center for Adoption Support & Education, Inc., in Burtonsville, Maryland. Rabbi Lina Zerbarini, Director of Operations at the Joseph Slifka Center for Jewish Life at Yale, will also be participating in the weekend program.

NJ Y Camps, which has been running Jewish summer camps in Pennsylvania for more than 80 years, will provide space and programming support. Participants will be able to take full advantage of the NJY facilities, including the high and low ropes adventure courses, boating, swimming, arts and crafts, athletics, and much more. Forever Families Weekend will take place at Camp Nah-Jee-Wah in Milford, Pennsylvania.

For more information about this program, or to receive Forever Families literature, please contact Debbie Schwartz at (203) 622-1881 or dschwartz@jfsgreenwich.org. The camp webpage is located at forever families.

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Adoption Options At-a-Glance : A Companion Guide for Families
Year Published: 2003

This guide focuses on one way to think about how choices in adoption may flow from one another:

There are two types of adoption: domestic and intercountry.

Domestic Adoption:

Agency Oversight: Agency oversight varies from licensed and accredited agencies to unregulated facilitators.

Voluntary Surrender or Termination of Parental Rights (TPR): Children are legally freed for adoption either through voluntary relinquishment or involuntary termination of the parental rights of their birth parents.

Child Characteristics: Every age child is available, including sibling groups of multiple ages. Children may be healthy or may have special physical or mental health needs.

Cost: Cost ranges from free or very little to $40,000 or more.

Potential Wait: Waits can be unpredictable and range from very short to 2 years or more.

Adoptive Parent Characteristics: Adoptive parent characteristics sought by birth parents vary. Specific characteristics have been found common to successful adoptive parents of children from foster care.

Post-Placement Support: Post-placement support varies from none to a wide array of services.

Potential Birth Parent Involvement/Access to Family History: The more “open” the adoption, the more potential access to a child’s birth family history.

Intercountry Adoption

Agency Oversight: Agencies facilitating intercountry adoptions must adhere to U.S. State and Federal regulations and regulations of the child’s country of origin.

Voluntary Surrender or Termination of Parental Rights (TPR): For immigration purposes, children must be considered “orphans” to be adopted.

Child Characteristics: Depending on the country, children available for adoption may include infants, school-aged children, sibling groups, and those with special needs due to parental substance abuse, poverty, or institutionalization.

Cost: Costs range from $7,000 to $30,000 or more, depending on the country and number of trips required.

Potential Wait: Waits vary depending on the country. Some countries are able to predict time from “matching” to “placement” so families can plan their lives accordingly.

Adoptive Parent Characteristics: Requirements for adoptive parents are country-specific regarding age, marital status, background, number of children in family, and other characteristics.

Post-Placement Support: Post-placement support ranges from none, to post-placement visits and required reports to the child’s country of origin, to country-specific adoptive parent support groups.

Potential Birth Parent Involvement/Access to Family History: Agency oversight varies from licensed and accredited agencies to unregulated facilitators.

If we adopt domestically, what type of adoption is best for our family?

Two types of domestic adoption are domestic infant adoption and foster care adoption.

Domestic Infant Adoption

Agency Oversight: Oversight varies from accredited and licensed agencies to unregulated facilitators.

Voluntary Surrender or Termination of Parental Rights (TPR): Most domestic infant adoptions are voluntary on the part of birth parents.

Child Characteristics: Health status of domestic infants can vary greatly depending on prenatal care, substance abuse, genetics, etc.

Cost: Costs range from $5,000 to $40,000 or more depending on the agency or facilitator and State laws regarding allowable expenses.

Potential Wait: Wait varies greatly depending on the kind of child a family is looking for, timing of the family’s home study documents and child’s need, and birth parents’ choices of adoptive parents.

Adoptive Parent Characteristics: Agencies may have specific requirements regarding faith (if a faith-based agency), age, marital status, or other characteristics.

Post-Placement Support: Post-adoption support varies greatly from none to support groups for families and children.

Potential Birth Parent Involvement/Access to Family History: Many adoptions involve some level of contact between birth and adoptive families. Access to history varies greatly depending on the situation and type of agency or facilitator.

Foster Care Adoption

Agency Oversight: Foster care adoptions can occur through public social service agencies (overseen by the State) or licensed private agencies (must meet State licensing standards and may be accredited).

Voluntary Surrender or Termination of Parental Rights (TPR): Most children are freed for adoption by the involuntary termination of their birth parents’ rights. Each State has its own Termination of Parental Rights (TPR) law.

Child Characteristics: Most children in foster care are older children or sibling groups of different ages. The average age of a waiting child is over 8 years old.

Cost: Foster care adoption may be free or involve minimal fees, such as attorney costs, which can often be reimbursed.Federal or State adoption subsidies may also be available depending on the child’s special needs.

Potential Wait: The wait for placement of children from foster care varies greatly depending on the type of child(ren) the family hopes to adopt and the family’s ability to meet the child(ren)’s needs.

Adoptive Parent Characteristics: Qualities of families who successfully adopt children from the foster care system include flexible expectations and a tolerance for rejection.

Post-Placement Support: Post-adoption support may include Federal or State adoption subsidies, foster/adoptive parent support groups, respite care, individual or family therapy, and other services.

Potential Birth Parent Involvement/Access to Family History: Potential birth parent involvement varies from none to regular contact with the birth family (if in child’s best interest).Agencies generally share all they know regarding a child’s birth family history.

If we choose domestic infant adoption, who will assist our family?

Professionals who assist families with domestic infant adoption include licensed private agencies, independent attorneys, and facilitated/unlicensed agencies.

Licensed Private Agency Adoption

Agency Oversight: Licensed agencies must meet State or other licensing standards.

Voluntary Surrender or Termination of Parental Rights (TPR): Varies by State and type of adoption. Agencies must have surrenders and/or termination of parental rights for both the birth mother and father.

Child Characteristics: Licensed private agencies may place domestic infants, children in foster care, orchildren from other countries.

Cost: Generally the expenses are predictable and will be known up front. Cost ranges from nothing to $40,000 or more.

Potential Wait: The wait for a child varies greatly; intercountry adoptions may have more “predictable” waiting periods.

Adoptive Parent Characteristics: Adoptive parent characteristics vary depending on the type of adoption and child requested.

Post-Placement Support: Post-adoption support varies depending on the region, agency resources, type of adoption, and needs of the child.

Potential Birth Parent Involvement/Access to Family History: The “openness” of the adoption varies by agency, type of adoption, and preferences of all involved.

Independent (Attorney) Adoption

Agency Oversight: Independent adoptions generally do not involve as much oversight as adoptions with licensed agencies. They must comply with State laws and regulations (not all States allow for this type of adoption). Assisting attorneys must adhere to the standards of the State’s Bar Association.

Voluntary Surrender or Termination of Parental Rights (TPR): Generally voluntary relinquishments by birth mothers and/or birth fathers. Situations will vary by laws of the involved States.

Child Characteristics: Characteristics of children placed independently can vary greatly due to prenatal care and genetics.

Cost: Costs can be unpredictable but generally average between $10,000 and $15,000. State law regulates allowable expenses (e.g., birth mother’s medical care).

Potential Wait: Time to find a potential match and have a child placed is unpredictable and may be shorter or longer than a wait for an infant placement through a licensed private agency.

Adoptive Parent Characteristics: Since expectant parents choose a family, adoptive parents’ characteristics depend on individual expectant or birth parent’s wishes.

Post-Placement Support: Post-placement support varies depending on the region and the child’s needs.

Potential Birth Parent Involvement/Access to Family History: Birth and adoptive families have direct contact with one another, often allowing for exchange of medical and family history.

Facilitated/Unlicensed Agency Adoption

Agency Oversight: This type of adoption involves the least amount of oversight. Some States regulate facilitators, while in other States anyone can declare themselves to be an “adoption facilitator.”

Voluntary Surrender or Termination of Parental Rights (TPR): Generally voluntary relinquishments by birth mothers and/or birth fathers. Situations will vary by laws of the involved States.

Child Characteristics: The health status of domestic infants vary greatly, as with any newborn, due to prenatal care, genetics, etc.

Cost: Expenses are regulated by State law but can still be unpredictable. Facilitated adoptions can cost as much or more than licensed private agency adoptions.

Potential Wait: The wait can vary tremendously depending on the situation and involved parties.

Adoptive Parent Characteristics: Since expectant parents often choose a family through a facilitator, adoptive parents’ age and other characteristics will depend a great deal on the individual expectant or birth parents’ wishes.

Post-Placement Support: Post-placement services vary depending on the region, agency resources, and the child’s needs.

Potential Birth Parent Involvement/Access to Family History: Birth parent involvement and access to the child’s family history vary depending on the facilitator and the wishes of involved parties.

National Adoption Information Clearinghouse.

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