I have been looking into adoption recently, and was discouraged about the costs. I would love any kind of advice, or information about making it more affordable. How can a lower income family afford it?

I took the question to our adoption forum members and this is what they suggested:

>>>>>>> This is tough. I have to say it seems to be getting harder to do each time we pursue it. Further, adoption costs have gone up incredibly over the last six years and I feel they’ll continue to raise at a phenomenal rate. Here’s what we’ve done: re-financed our home at a much lower rate, and borrowing more to cover the cost of the adoption. In the end, we borrowed more $$ and brought our house payment down incredibly as well (lower interest rate). We’ve also borrowed from family; as well as used almost all of our savings. This is because we’ve chosen to adopt more than a couple of times……several times as a matter of fact.

I know some would encourage you to adopt through the foster to adopt state systems. While this means essentially no financial cost to the adoptive parents…….one must be careful to weigh the financial with the emotional costs to adopt in this manner. More often than not, adopting through the system will take (at least ) a moderate toll on the emotional well-being of family members. Be very prepared for this. This isn’t to imply foster/adopt situations can’t succeed; but they certainly aren’t like adopting babies and there is often a different way of raising these children—because of their past issues.

I’ve heard of people having yard sales, applying for grants, taking out adoption loans, etc. All of these are good. But, regardless of which direction you go, I’d say that paying for adoption means the couple will have to sacrifice in order to do so. There is a small percentage of people who are quite wealthy and have money sitting around for adoptions; but they’re not the majority. Most of us have to decide if the wants and desires of our hearts lie with having new homes, new cars every couple of years (or longer LOL), having a lot of material luxuries or paying fees in order to have children. IMO, that’s really the bottom line. Adoption isn’t for everyone; and for a lot of us, adopting children ranks higher than retirement, material comfort, and having that guaranteed nest egg for old age. Again, it’s a monetary sacrifice, and one that should be well considered before going into it.

>>>>>>> Apply for grants, request information on need-based fee reductions, see if your state offers an adoption benefit amount to offset your costs. Many do. See if your employer offers an adoption benefit. Many people do private fundraisers, yard sales, etc. to help pay adoption expenses.

Really do your homework when choosing an agency or adoption professional. There can be drastic differences in fees, hidden costs, and the expectation that you pay some birthparent expenses. Many places don’t require you to pay any birthparent expenses.

>>>>>>> We used savings, and temporarily home equity, and with both of our adoption I had a “timely” deal come through – just through SHEER LUCK. We didn’t borrow more than we knew we could recoup with the tax credit. Both time we adopted money was very tight from adoption date to tax time. – so nearly a year of monetary stress.

We were lucky in ways, my income had always been our “fun” money. Sure, we used some of it for living expenses, but because of Matt’s career, and mine, we couldn’t count on mine (he’s military, I’ve been strictly comission since I was 25), so our primary existing never touched my income.

My advice – save some money, however you can. Ebay stuff, garage sale stuff, put off buying a new car, furniture whatever. Have romantic dinners at home instead of restaurants- you can’t do that once you have kids (we had one of our anniversary dinners – complete with china and crystal in our formal dining room au natural), limit your gift giving – cards work for most people just fine, no one needs more junk. When it comes to work clothes buy 1 new suit per season per year. That way you have something up to date to wear when necessary, and perfectly acceptable stanbys the rest of the time – by 5 years old my suits were for office days only, not meeting days. But 4 years and younger – not enough difference to be out of style. Buy target instead of Victoria’s secret – yeah, I hate it too, but it does make a difference.

I do hate that when money comes up every one says consider state children, or special needs. I don’t think that it is fair to the kids to be only considered because of money issues. I think people need to look at the type of adoption that is right for their family….how they can best parent the kids they adopt first. Then look at the money. Certainly if special needs and older children are in their “range” then it is a great place to start, but money shouldn’t dictate the type of adoption.

>>>>>> Various foundations and donors enable special needs adoptions to happen with a greater frequency by advertising and offering grants. With greater visibility, these children are seen by prospective adoptive parents. Often, people are moved to inquiry by familiarity: perhaps a friend or relative has a similar condition, or there is another child in the home with the same handicap. After much discussion, personal research, and the home study, prospective adoptive parents interested in adopting special needs have a single child in mind. They are not waiting for a referral. They know what will be involved and how much they can handle. They have looked for networks in the community for support and education. They have sought medical guidance. Their homestudies are specifically approved for the adoption of a special needs child.

>>>>>>> Family and church gave us a little money, but the bulk of our adoption costs came from a personal line of credit. I have found that since we adopted, our credit union offers a loan program specifically for adoption.

>>>>>>> We are not adopting until we have the total costs of the money saved. It sucks, and I fight with dh about it all the time, but in the end I know it will be best. The monthly amount of money we’re saving each month for adoption will then be used to save for our kid’s college once we do have a baby. I want a baby more than I want air somedays, but I need dh’s support and he refused to be in debt when we can make sacrifices now, wait a while, and save. I’ve wanted to adopt for almost 2 years now, and we’re not planning to start until 1-1-11 (or 1-2-11 since I doubt the social worker will do our homestudy on New Year’s Day). Almost 4 years is a long time to wait when we’ve already waited long enough, but we’ll have it paid in full including all anticipated travel costs (dh is a financial planner so he has included the costs for EVERYTHING).

>>>>>>> Dealing the fees was difficult for us to. It helped us to finalize our decision on what country to go to. We were always heading towards China and the fact that it is one of the cheapest countries didn’t hurt. It sucks that we have to think about it that way but we have to be able to afford to raise the baby once they come home and we couldn’t spend all our money on the adoption. We’ve been saving up and with the international adoption we get to pay a little here and a little there, which helps. I found an organization that gives interest free loans to Jewish families, so we’ve looked into that. And my parents have offered to help, which I hate to do, being that I’m 39 and should I really still be getting help from my parents, but the hell with it… they have it and they are happy to share! We had spent so much money on fertility and it just never seems to end. I’m just amazed at it all… there are so many kids out there that need a good home and we all have good homes and want kids, why does it have to be so damn difficult?

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Certainly, the best advice in starting out is to really think about the baby you want to adopt. Like it or not, most agencies/attorneys base their adoption fees on supply and demand…not only of babies, but hopeful adoptive parents as well. One has to remember too, that adoption IS a business and as such, is run to make money, or, to at least keep the doors open for future clients. The list that follows is NOT inclusive, but only some of the many factors that, whether we agree it’s “right” or not, play into the cost of domestic adoption:

1. The age and ethnicity of the baby to be placed.

2. The amount of counseling the agency/caseworker did with the expectant woman. Counseling for an expectant woman considering adoption is often a requirement in some states as well as available counseling for the woman, post-adoption.

3. Whether the baby to be placed has any special needs. These might come in the form of drug/alcohol and other negative exposure in utero; physical and/or mental challenges the baby acquired prior to, during or post-birth.

4. Whether the expectant woman contacted the agency several months before the baby was to be born; right after the baby was born; upon leaving the hospital with or without the baby, or several weeks or months after the baby has been born.

5. Whether the hopeful adoptive people will need to pay hospital costs for the baby, the birthmother or both. Some expectant women will have the benefit of Medicaid to pay for their hospitalization/delivery costs. Some may have their own private health insurance. If not, the burden of hospital/delivery expenses as well as any unexpected hospital costs for the baby may be paid by the hopeful adoptive people.

6. What type and how much money does the expectant woman want from the agency and adoptive parents in terms of ‘support‘. This is a HUGE factor in adoption costs. In fact, for many hopeful adoptive couples who are willing to play the ’matching-game’, this factor may ’make or break’ whether the couple will or will not be considered for the specific adoption situation. IMO, no other factor plays as big a role in adoption costs.

Hopeful adoptive people should take particular note of what the agency/expectant woman is anticipating in expenses. If not, hopeful adoptive people may find themselves drowning in ‘birthmother fees’ with little end in sight…..long before the delivery date of the child to be considered.

Some states have a ‘cap’ on expenses that can be paid to an expectant woman. Likewise, some agencies have a ‘cap’ on the amount of money they’ll allow their hopeful adoptive parents to pay out for expenses to an expectant woman. And, each state has specific definitions as to what’s considered and allowed as payment for adoption expenses.

There are certainly other reasons additional fees might be charged as well as reason the fees might be waived by certain agencies for various circumstances.

What Agency/Attorney is best for our family

Don’t hesitate to Google:
“Adoption agencies in (Your state/town)”.
You’ll usually find a long listing of agencies and adoption entities. Copy that list. Sit down with a notebook, pen, phone and start dialing any/all agencies/attorneys on the list.

Ask each agency/attorney specific questions, including:
1. How much do you charge to conduct a home study?
2. How much do you charge for your basic adoption of (fill in the blank) As I spoke about earlier, like it or not, a lot of adoption agencies base their fee on supply and demand so fees will vary based on what type of child (race, age, any special needs, etc) you are looking to adopt.
3. Do you allow trans-ethnic adoptions?
4. Do you offer (even free?) counseling for the birthmother–prior to, during and after placement of her baby?
5. Does your agency take installments for any of these processes?
6. Does your agency network with other agencies/attorneys and so add your fees onto another situation? If so, generally, how much is that charge?
7. Does your agency allow us to network on our own?
8. Will you work with us for post-placement visits if we find a baby through another agency/attorney.
9. Do you allow free-choice concerning open-ness in an adoption? Will we be required to have an open adoption (with visits, etc), semi-open, or will you allow the parties involved to decide what type of open-ness they prefer? (ie, Birthmother decides to look at profiles with adoptive parents who want only that type of adoption.)

—Keep in mind you’re interviewing the agencies/attorneys because *you* are the one hiring them to conduct a service for you. If an agency or attorney’s business just doesn’t seem right for you—it probably isn’t. Additionally, don’t be pushed into any type of adoption you hadn’t settled on in the first place! A few agencies/attorneys might try push you into accepting something because a situation has come about and they need families.

—Don’t be fooled thinking you MUST have an open arrangement with birth families. Truly, not EVERY birth family wants this type of set-up, though you’ll seldom hear agencies/attorneys attesting to this fact. And, there are still some birth families who want nothing but ‘closed’ adoptions. Don’t let any agency/attorney tell you these don’t exist….because they do!

—Don’t feel guilty if you can’t (or won’t) pay birthmother expenses.  If you had previously decided you wouldn’t pay additional fees, don’t change your mind now. If a situation is presented to you where there are exorbitant fees…..or beyond what you promised yourself in the first place—-don’t accept it. Someone else will, believe me.

—Don’t feel you need to ‘take this situation’ because no one else will or the agency will be angry and won‘t show your profile again. This is especially true if you think the special needs the baby has are NOT something you’re prepared for. And, if the baby isn’t the ethnicity you wanted, don’t feel as though you have to accept the baby because the agency/attorney has no other families in their listing/database. To take on a different situation than what you felt led to do, is doing a disservice to yourself AND the baby.

—And finally, try not to get discouraged if you can’t afford a lot for adoption. While adoption is expensive; more affordable situations can be found—–even though you may have to wait longer. Truly, in adoption, it isn’t a question of *IF*, it’s a question of *WHEN* you’ll receive your baby.

Feel free to ask questions in our Forever Parents Question and Information Forum. There, you’ll find a multitude of answers to questions much like you may have. And, if not, please ask! Our board members have adopted in about as many ways as imagined. We’re always around for support.

Written by Linny

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What type of infant you’re hoping to adopt will most certainly make considerable difference in what you will pay. Always remember that adoption IS a business…as much as many of us hate to admit this. With that knowledge, hopeful adoptive couples can be prepared to realize adoption agencies/attorneys also run their businesses in order TO make money (some more than others). Who *you* conduct business with will make all the difference in the world.

First, if you’re looking to adopt an infant through an agency or attorney who’ll do the searching for you within the United States, be prepared to do some research and understand this VERY important point:

There are always exceptions to the rules.

Following is a listing with some of the basic adoption expenses for adoptive couples. Keep in mind this is a generalization. As I mentioned earlier, remember that adoption is a business; that the type of adoption you’re hoping for will impact how much you’ll pay; and most importantly, there are ALWAYS exceptions to the rules when considering the cost of adoption in the United States.

The Private’ Homestudy: A document prepared by a recognized agent/agency in your home state that gives detailed account of your life and those who live with you; your values, beliefs on many topics, your community, education and expectations of raising a child. This is generally done through home visits and interviews with you, your significant other, any children already in the home and oftentimes, interviews with both adults and/or existing children in the home. Generally, personal and work-related references are required. Sometimes, references from a pastor are required as well.
Cost: Approximately $1,000.00 – 2,000.00

Your home study must be completed before you’ll be allowed to adopt at all. I’m told that some states allow the completion of a home study AFTER a baby/child has been placed into your home—especially if an independent adoption is being performed….but this varies incredibly state to state.

An Adoption Attorney: If you’re going through an adoption attorney, it’s often recommended to consult and hire one that belongs to The American Academy of Adoption Attorneys (or Quad A attorneys). A Quad A member can be found at this website: http://www.adoptionattorneys.org/ While there are other adoption attorneys who can conduct an adoption, Quad A attorneys are to uphold a high standard of ethics and up-to-date-knowledge concerning adoption law. In my opinion, hiring a Quad A attorney is one more assurance that the adoption will/should be done in an ethical and legal manner.
An Estimation for legal services will also depend on whether the attorney is networking for adoptive parents in seeking out potential expectant women considering adoption, working with an agency directly or in-directly, or simply conducting the legal adoption paperwork once a baby has already been placed with the adoptive parents.
Estimated Cost when networking as well as conducting legal work: $ 5,000.-$10,000.
Estimated Cost when networking, child placement fees and legal work for the adoption: $ 10,000 and up.

The Adoption Agency: A entity licensed by the state that’s recognized to legally place a child with a home studied and approved-to-adopt family. Some agencies will contract out to have home studies conducted; others often have their own caseworkers who conduct the home study process. An adoption agency should be one the adoptive family feels completely comfortable with. The agency is sometimes ‘not-for-profit’; ‘for-profit’, and sometimes affiliated with a certain religious faith. (Note: Not all religiously affiliated agencies require their clients to be members of that particular sect of faith: For instance, Catholic Charities will work with non-Catholic persons.)

Adoption Agencies often network with other agencies and attorneys to find potential expectant women/couples who are considering adoption. Each agency is as individual as could be imagined. Each agency has their own specific requirements, fees, and times in which to collect those fees. Fees charged for home studies are often separate fees from those of ‘child placement, post-placement visits and other expenses.

For instance, (assuming you already have a home study conducted) some agencies will ask for initial money to ‘register’ with them. (Fees can range from $150.00 to $500 and beyond.)
Then, if you’re into their program and willing to “Match”—pre-birth with an expectant woman, monies might be asked at that time. (Fees can range from $0 – $10,000.)
And then, should the expectant woman continue through with her adoption plan, the balance of the entire adoption will be required once the baby is born and releases for adoption have been signed.
Generally, an ethical adoption agency will charge anywhere from $5,000.- 15,000 in child placement fees. This does not include the cost of the home study, any possible expenses to the birthmother, any possible medical expenses or post-placement visits once the baby has been placed in your home.

The Post-Placement Visit: Once you have a baby/child placed in your home, states require the supervising agency to conduct post-placement visits to see how the baby and your family are adjusting to each other. The amount of visits is determined by your agency as well as the state in which you reside. Additionally, if you live outside of the pre-determined area of the agency, you’re often charged for mileage.
Usually, expect anywhere from 1-4 visits.
Estimated fee for *each* post-placement visit: $150-250.

At this point, you might be wondering why there’s such a vast range in fees. In this article , I’ve only skimmed the surface relating to the expenses for adopting a baby from an adoption agency or attorney within the United States. In a following article, I’ll write about the different variables that can easily change the amount of money a family can spend to adopt.

Written by Linny

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Background checks would have revealed 33-year-old Jessica Dreves has prior arrests for petit larceny, drugs and spent time in a Maryland jail for peddling counterfeit currency. The Nassau district attorney said Dreves illegally promised her unborn baby to two couples, who each paid her thousands for rent, food, and medical care. But when it came time to turn over the infant, investigators discovered she had fled to Florida and disappeared with the baby and the cash.

“This adoption scam is every would-be parent’s worst nightmare,” Nassau DA Kathleen Rice said. “The fact that a mother would scheme to sell her own unborn child when that child is already promised to another couple is incomprehensible.”

Read the rest of the article here

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OKLAHOMA CITY (April 16, 2009) – Both the Oklahoma House of Representatives and state Senate voted today to increase financial transparency during the adoption process and prevent crooked lawyers from extorting adoptive families.

One of the measures – House Bill 2174, by state Rep. Jason Nelson – passed the state Senate today and now goes to Gov. Henry to be signed into law.

The other bill – Senate Bill 1029, by state Sen. Steven Russell and Nelson – passed the Oklahoma House of Representatives today and returns to the Senate.

“I am very pleased this legislation has received such broad bipartisan support,” said Nelson, R-Oklahoma City. “For too long, Oklahoma has been known as a state that does not protect adoptive parents, adoptive children or birth mothers. We have allowed unethical lawyers to sell children and it’s a black eye for the state. This legislation will help end those abuses and identify the bad actors.”

House Bill 2174 would require public reporting of adoption expenses to increase transparency. The bill also requires that only one prospective adoptive family at a time may be billed for a birth mother’s expenses and that all adoptions must be conducted in one of four locations: the home county of the birth mother, the home county of the adoptive parents, or in Oklahoma or Tulsa Counties.

Senate Bill 1029 would require the courts to conduct a home study for all non-kinship adoptions to ensure adoptive parents are able to support an adoptive child.

The measure also requires that a written full-disclosure statement be provided to both the birth parent and adoptive parents by all attorneys or individuals involved in a direct-placement adoption in Oklahoma. The full-disclosure statement would include information such as the name and address of the attorney involved; the scope of services provided by the attorney; a procedure for grievances; a list of the fees charged for an adoption and refund policy; provisions informing those involved that coercion of birth parents is prohibited; provisions for avoiding conflicts of interest among birth parents, adoptive parents, and the attorney; and the specified time frame for completing an adoption.

Although the Department of Human Services has a code that adoption agencies must follow, there is currently no oversight of the attorneys involved in adoptions.

A May 2006 multicounty grand jury report found that some adoptive parents have been forced to pay for automobiles, car parts, traffic tickets, court costs in unrelated criminal cases, driver’s license reinstatement fees, television sets and utility bills – all masked as adoption costs.

According to the grand jury report, the haphazard regulation of “adoption expenses” has created an atmosphere where some women and their attorneys effectively sold children.

House Bill 2174 passed the state Senate on a 44-2 vote today and will become law with the governor’s signature.

Senate Bill 1029 passed the Oklahoma House of Representatives today on an 88-10 vote. It now returns to the Senate for consideration of House amendments.

The passage of both bills comes a day before a meeting of the Oklahoma Adoption Review Task Force, which Nelson now co-chairs with Russell. The group will meet at the state Capitol at 1 p.m. on Friday

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For both the credit or the exclusion, qualifying expenses include reasonable and necessary adoption fees, court costs, attorney fees, traveling expenses (including amounts spent for meals and lodging while away from home), and other expenses directly related to and for which the principal purpose is the legal adoption of an eligible child. An eligible child must be under 18 years old, or be physically or mentally incapable of caring for himself or herself. The adoption credit or exclusion cannot be taken for a child who is not a United States citizen or resident unless the adoption becomes final. A taxpayer also may be eligible to take an increased credit or exclusion for expenses related to the adoption of a child with special needs if the child otherwise meets the definition of qualifying child, is a United States citizen or resident and a state determines that the child cannot or should not be returned to his or her parent’s home and probably will not be adopted unless assistance is provided. The credit and exclusion for qualifying adoption expenses are each subject to a dollar limit and an income limit.

Under the dollar limit the amount of your adoption credit or exclusion is limited to the dollar limit for that year for each effort to adopt an eligible child. If you can take both a credit and an exclusion, this dollar amount applies separately to each. For example, if we assume the dollar limit for the year is $10,000 and you paid $9,000 in qualifying adoption expenses for a final adoption, while your employer paid $4,000 of additional qualifying adoption expenses, you may be able to claim a credit of up to $9,000 and also exclude up to $4,000.

The dollar limit for a particular year must be reduced by the amount of qualifying expenses taken into account in previous years for the same adoption effort.

The income limit on the adoption credit or exclusion is based on your modified adjusted gross income (modified AGI). If your modified AGI is below the beginning phase out amount for the year, the income limit will not affect your credit or exclusion. If your modified AGI is more than the beginning phase out amount for the year, your credit or exclusion will be reduced. If your modified AGI is above the maximum phase out amount for the year, your credit or exclusion will be eliminated.

Generally, if you are married, you must file a joint return to take the adoption credit or exclusion. If your filing status is married filing separately, you can take the credit or exclusion only if you meet special requirements.

To take the credit or exclusion, complete Qualified Adoption Expenses: Form 8839 (PDF) and attach the form to your 1040 or 1040A.

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