Congratulations!  After all of your hard work, the time to travel to meet your child is finally here (or almost here).  Since you can expect to be overtired, a little anxious, and, quite possibly, overwhelmed, a little advance planning can go a long way toward helping you cope. In order to help you prepare for your trip, here are a few of our favorite tips and tricks to make your adoption travel less stressful.  International travelers should check with their country program coordinator for any specific items that may be required.

Domestic Travel

First – and most important – keep in mind that anything you forget (or decide you can’t live without) can be purchased at local supermarkets, drugstores, and baby/children’s stores such as Babies ‘R’ Us.

Anticipating an extended stay?  Ship a small box of essential items ahead of time. If you’re traveling with an older sibling, this is a great way to be sure s/he will have some favorite books and toys to play with while you wait for permission to return home.  Clothes that will only be used in your destination city (e.g. bathing suits if you’re traveling to a warm climate from a winter one) are a great example of items you can send by parcel post.  Ask your local agency or attorney about short-term rental apartments or extended stay hotels.

Go to the bank before you leave. Don’t forget a few rolls of quarters (great for laundry machines) and singles for tipping in the airports.  You’ll have your hands full, especially on the return trip.  Pamper yourself and let a porter carry your luggage.

You may be able to attend the birth of your child.  If you are planning to be in the delivery room, pack some snacks and a sweatshirt!  Labor can take a long time – you might need a quick granola bar to tide you over – and delivery rooms tend to be kept at cooler temperatures.  Don’t forget a camera, but be sure to talk to your birthmother ahead of time to see how she feels about pictures.  Remember that even if the two of you agreed to something ahead of time, she may feel differently in the moment.  Respecting her wishes – and her privacy – is the most important part of building a positive relationship with her.  (Don’t be afraid to ask to cut the umbilical cord!)

If you expect to be spending time at the hospital, ask your agency or attorney or call the hospital social worker to find out their adoption policies.  Most hospitals will allow prospective adoptive parents to attend the daily classes for new mothers, covering topics such as feeding, diapering, and bathing newborns.   Be sure to request the new baby “care package” from the nursery.  Typically this freebie includes an insulated diaper bag, diapers, bulb syringe, and other items.  The hospital will also give you infant formula in glass bottles and disposable nipples.  Take as much as they will give you!

Many hospitals ban cell phone use. Prepaid phone cards are a great way to keep in touch if you need to use a pay phone (yes, they still exist) or a hospital phone.  If you have a telephone calling card linked to your home phone, be sure to memorize the code or write it down and bring it with you.  On a similar note, make sure you have the remote codes for your answering machine or voice mail system.  If you’re out of town longer than expected, you’ll need to be able to delete, rewind, and playback messages as well as change your outgoing announcement to share your good news.

Adopting a newborn? Be sure you have an infant car seat!  You can research ahead of time to decide what brand and style you want.  Either purchase at home and take it with you or order in advance and arrange to pick it up at a store in your destination city.  If you’re superstitious and don’t want to buy one ahead of time, you can borrow from a friend – but be sure the car seat is less than five years old and has not been involved in any car accidents.  Even a minor fender bender can cause invisible stress fractures inside the seat – making it unsafe in case of another, even minor, accident.  Be sure to ask your local police department to show you how to install a car seat properly before leaving home.

Use the internet wisely. A little advance research into your destination city can provide tourist information (helpful for finding places to entertain older siblings, for example) and maps.  Find out in advance if your hotel or apartment will have internet access.  Otherwise, investigate other options such as the nearest public library or stores such as Kinko’s (which charge a small internet access fee).  Be sure to pack a USB cable (if necessary) so that you can download photos from your digital camera and send them to family and friends waiting impatiently at home.

International Travel

Your agency or country program coordinator will provide you with a suggested packing list.  Be sure to pack everything they suggest that you bring…they’re the experts!

In addition, plan ahead for minor medical issues.  Pack a thermometer and make sure you know how to use it before you travel.  Bring infant or children’s Tylenol.  Know which one you are carrying and how to determine the correct dose (by weight) for your child.  If the child is over six months of age, ask your pediatrician to recommend an over-the-counter decongestant that will be safe for you to use if necessary.  Ask your pharmacist for an infant dosing syringe (there’s no needle) and a children’s dosing spoon.  Write down the correct dose by weight for each medication you have with you.  Consult your pediatrician or an international adoption medical professional to decide whether to carry antibiotics.  Carry your pediatrician’s phone number with you.

Do not bring baby formula from home unless instructed to do so by your international agency or country program coordinator.  Keep your child on his/her current diet until you return home. Be sure to ask the local program staff for a list of current foods (for older children) or for current feeding quantities (for babies still on formula).  Pack a few vinyl bibs, especially if you are adopting an older child. These wipe clean easily!

In each suitcase pack some clothes for each person traveling.  If one suitcase is lost en route, you will still have some clothes to wear.  Pack clothes in a few different sizes for your child.  If you find that some are too small for him/her when you arrive, donate them to the orphanage or children’s home.  Make copies of each traveler’s passport and place them inside each suitcase in case of emergency.  Include an emergency contact name and phone number.  Add extra copies of your passport photos in case your passports need to be replaced.  Place all of this into a sealed plastic bag.

Put the “drug bag” into your carry-on and be sure to include anti-diarrheal medicine, antacid, cold medicine, and antibiotics (for adults).  Bring copies of prescriptions for any prescription medicine you are carrying.  Go online the week before you travel to check for any updates or changes to travel restrictions (e.g. quantity of liquids, etc.).

Invest in quality hand-held luggage carts. These will prove invaluable in terms of navigating airports and train stations – especially once you are also carrying a child.  Consider purchasing a sling or other soft-sided baby carrier.  These store flat in your luggage and promote bonding with your new child.  Be sure you know how to assemble and wear the carrier properly before leaving home.  Practice with a friend’s child of similar age and size if possible!

Go to the bank before you leave.Purchase travelers checks.  Ask if your ATM card can be used overseas and whether your PIN code needs an extension.  (In many countries PIN codes are six digits.)  Don’t forget singles for tipping in the airports.  You’ll have your hands full, especially on the return trip.  Pamper yourself and let a porter carry your luggage.

Be sure you can phone home. Call your cellular phone company to find out if your phone can be used overseas.  Check with your telephone calling card company to find out how to dial home from your destination country.  Consider purchasing prepaid phone cards for use overseas.

Pack duct tape and a bath towel. Depending on where you are traveling, the towels may be small and rough.  The duct tape?  Hey, you never know!  Good for everything from fixing ripped luggage to creating a small, hacky-sack type of ball to distract a cranky child (or partner!), the duct tape may just keep you sane in a moment of insanity.

Domestic and International Travel

Take an extra suitcase – the type that folds flat inside your suitcase – since you are likely to be coming home with more things than you took with you.  Also be sure to pack a copy of the book “What to Expect the First Year” or “What to Expect the Toddler Years” so you have a quick reference by your side.  Pack your camera or camcorder (or both).  Include the USB cable if necessary.  Don’t forget extra batteries!

Pack a night light or a flashlight! In unfamiliar surroundings, late night feedings and diaper changes will be a lot easier if you shed some light on the subject.  Having a night light or flashlight handy means you don’t have to wake your spouse/partner or travel companion, which is helpful if you’re working in shifts.  Keeping the lights low also helps keep newborns sleepy!  Pack power food such as granola bars, nutrition bars, or trail mix to keep you going.

For the return trip, be sure to pack extra formula or food.  You never know when a flight will be delayed or canceled.  If you’re stuck in an airport, especially overseas, you may not be able to find what you’re looking for.  Call ahead of time to see if a pediatrician’s note is necessary for your infant (especially a newborn) to fly.  Also check with the airline about special customer service to waive penalties or other special considerations for adoption travel.

Don’t forget that you’ll need extra time to do absolutely everything on the return.  Even if you are already a parent, you’re not used to traveling with this child.  It takes longer to do things with an infant or child but don’t worry, you’ll learn quickly!

The diaper bag counts as a carry-on, so plan accordingly.  However, if your baby or child has a paid ticket, s/he’s entitled to a carry-on, too.  Babies travel half-price if you buy a seat.  For a toddler, bring an umbrella stroller.  The airline will gate check the umbrella stroller as you board the plane and return it to you as you exit.

Leave someone the keys to your house, especially if you leave on short notice.  Have all of your important paperwork (copies of passports, adoption-related documents, travelers check ID numbers, etc.) in a folder or box on the kitchen table.  Be sure this person knows where to find everything in case they need to send or fax paperwork, etc.

Stock your freezer before you go. Pack food into one- or two-person serving containers.  You’ll want to be able to microwave a quick meal for yourself, not cook, once you return.  Leave a short “essentials” shopping list with a close friend or family member (e.g. milk, juice, etc.).  Ask them to purchase these items and have them waiting for you the day you return.

And the number one travel tip:  zip-lock bags!  Take a box of sandwich bags (for those breakable glass formula bottles) and a box of one gallon bags in your luggage.  On the way home, be sure to put some of each size in an easy-to-reach pocket of your carry-on bag.  Zip-lock bags are a necessity for emergencies such as leaky diapers, soiled clothes, and snacks.

Please be sure you have contact information for your agency/attorney/program coordinator with you.  They should be available to advise and support you while you are traveling to meet your child.  For domestic adoption, they can troubleshoot, if necessary, with the sending agency and can place calls on your behalf to interstate compact offices and, for international adoption, to embassy officials.

Finally, ENJOY! You only get to meet your child for the first time once in your life.  Make the most of it.

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• Debbie Schwartz Honored By The Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute (4)
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Congressman Jim Himes has selected Jewish Family Services Adoption Connection Program Coordinator Debbie Schwartz as a 2010 Angel in Adoption (TM) for her outstanding advocacy of adoption.  The Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute (CCAI), which orchestrates the Angels in Adoption™ program, will honor Schwartz, along with more than 190 Angels, at an awards ceremony and gala event in Washington, DC, October 6, 2010.

For over a decade, Schwartz has been a devoted and effective advocate for adoption and adoption services.  A longstanding volunteer for the Adoptive Parents Committee, Inc. (APC) she has served on the APC Board of Governors and as co-President of the Hudson Chapter.  For more than ten years she has facilitated the APC monthly meetings in Fairfield County, helping countless numbers of people looking to build their families through adoption.  An avid speaker and leader at area adoption conferences and workshops, she is currently promoting positive adoption awareness and education as the Program Coordinator for Adoption Connection of Jewish Family Services of Greenwich.  She is an online group moderator and speaker promoting positive adoption language and support in this era of online social networking.  Schwartz is also the founder and director of the Forever Families Weekend for Jewish Families Touched by Adoption, the first program specifically dedicated to furthering positive adoption growth and education for Forever Families in the Jewish community.  Forever Families Weekend is coordinated jointly by Jewish Family Services of Greenwich and the New Jersey “Y” Camps. 

The Angels in Adoption™ program is CCAI’s signature public awareness campaign and provides an opportunity for all members of the U.S. Congress to honor the good work of their constituents who have enriched the lives of foster children and orphans in the United States and abroad. 

“The Angels in Adoption program is unlike any other program in the Nation’s Capitol. Because of it, over 1600 “Angels’ have come to share with Washington their adoption experience and left with a renewed excitement of all that adoption makes possible,” said Kathleen Strottman.  “I learned one simple lesson from my time on the hill, knowledge is power.  Angels in Adoption is meant to give Members of Congress the knowledge they need to use the power they have toward making the dream of a family a reality for every child.” 

In addition to the more than 190 local angels from around the country, several National Angels will also be recognized at the ceremony and gala for their dedication and commitment nationally and internationally to child welfare on a grand scale.  Former “National Angels” include First Lady Laura Bush, Patti LaBelle, Jane Seymour, Muhammad Ali, the late Dave Thomas, Steven Curtis Chapman, Bruce Willis, Alonzo Mourning, and Marcus Samuelsson.

The Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute (CCAI) is a 501(c)3 nonpartisan organization dedicated to raising awareness about the tens of thousands of orphans and foster children in the United States and the millions of orphans around the world in need of permanent, safe, and loving homes through adoption.  CCAI’s goal is the elimination of the barriers that hinder these children from realizing their basic right of a family. 

CCAI was created in 2001 by the active co-chairs of the bicameral, bipartisan Congressional Coalition on Adoption (CCA) to more effectively raise Congressional and public awareness about the issue of adoption. 

The Angels in Adoption™ program was established in 1999 as a Congressional press conference to honor outstanding individuals. Since then, the program has developed into a yearlong public awareness campaign culminating in an extraordinary awards Gala and celebration in Washington, D.C. 

CCAI does not receive any government funding and they rely on the generous support of foundations, corporations, and individuals to accomplish their mission.  For more information visit http://www.ccainstitute.org/

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Click here to watch live . You can login, watch Debbie, and type in questions and comments for her.
Click here to watch the archived interview (Click on the May 19 episode to watch the 60 minute show).

Some of the topics Debbie hopes to cover tonight are:
• What is Forever Families Weekend and why did I start the program?
• Is there such a thing as a “religion of origin?”
• Is a change of religion from birth family to adoptive family another loss in the adoption experience?
• How does religion factor into the developmental search for identity that EVERY child goes through and that is often more complicated for adoptees?
• Are we, as adults in the adoption community, ignoring something that needs to be addressed?
• Of course, children who join their families through adoption need to be full members of those families, so being raised in their “religion of origin” would create just as many issues as it might solve, so how do we address this? Is it enough just to acknowledge it?
• When we talk with adoptees about ways in which their adoptive and birth families differ, how do we address this issue (with the idea that we need to make that process less emotionally charged)?

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When you think of the books you loved as a child, what images come to your mind? Many of us remember bedtime rituals that included Goodnight, Moon and Pat the Bunny or a Halloween tradition that included The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. If you have strong memories of these or other books, chances are that what you remember most are the warm feelings associated with having a loving caregiver (parent, grandparent, favorite babysitter, etc.) reading those books to you.

As parents, we read aloud to our children for several reasons. Reading to our children promotes literacy. It fosters bonding and attachment by creating those shared memories and experiences that are such a formative part of our upbringing. The choice of books that we read helps teach our children things that we want them to know, such as our family values. And reading to our children provides an opportunity to talk with our children about things that we think are important.

For families formed through adoption, this opportunity to open a dialogue is the best argument for making sure that your home library includes a wide range of adoption books. Books such as Jamie Lee Curtis’s Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born or My Family is Forever by Nancy Carlson introduce adoption concepts in a positive way. When we read these books to our children we are modeling for them both the vocabulary of adoption and the idea that talking about adoption is acceptable and valuable. Other books, such as The Family Book by Todd Parr or Nina Pelligrini’s Families are Different introduce many types of family formations, helping children accept that adoption is just one way in which families might differ from one another.

As parents reading aloud to our children, we can use these books and stories of adoption to elicit our children’s feelings. For example, we might stop at an illustration and comment “When I look at the boy in this picture I feel sad because…” or “I think the girl in this story feels…” Sometimes we might ask our children to respond (e.g. “And what do you think?”) and other times we might let the moment pass. In either case, it’s important for us to reinforce the idea that sharing feelings is a positive and important part of being in a family. If we set the stage for our children to share their feelings with us when they are young, they are much more likely to come to us to share their feelings when they are older, and when those feelings become more complicated.

Books that talk about feelings in general, such as When Sophie Gets Angry…Really Really Angry or In My Heart by Molly Bang or Dave Cutler’s When I Wished I Was Alone are also valuable for adoptive families, although neither talks about adoption. Instead, these books help children understand how to identify and describe some of the feelings they may have. Another good example of this type of book is Jamie Lee Curtis’s book Today I Feel Silly: And Other Moods that Make My Day .

Our children will have different feelings about adoption as they grow – sometimes minute by minute! Having a range of books, including children’s adoption books, in your home library and they will help your children process these feelings and understand that these feelings (and the fact that they change) are a normal part of growing up.

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