I know many couples come to adoption after being involved in fertility treatments. What about those, like myself, who decided to adopt before exploring other options? Tell us about your experience in the comment section. Here’s what some of our adoption forums members had to say;

“Years ago I was in a serious relationship with someone who, for political reasons, felt very strongly that he would never want to bring a child into this world when there were already so many children who needed families. I really thought I might marry this man, but I had always thought I would have children the “old-fashioned” way. In the end, our relationship didn’t survive (not because of this issue), but not before I had reached the conclusion that I could happily adopt a child someday.

My husband and I did not do anything to prevent pregnancy, but when it didn’t happen on its own, we moved directly to adoption, without pursuing any types of infertility treatment. We knew right away that our goal was to become parents – not pregnant – and adoption was an easy decision with that in mind.”

“I am a single parent. But even as a child, I was drawn to the idea of adoption. As soon as I began thinking of having a family, I always thought of adoption. I might have earlier thought of blending birth children and adopted children when I still thought I might marry.”

“I’ve always thought of adopting, but when I got married it wasn’t the first idea that came to mind in terms of forming our family. Then I gave birth to two kids, and that was wonderful. However, I’ve always thought three was the perfect number of children (maybe because there are three siblings in my family), and my husband and I had always agreed that it would be hard to justify bringing more than two kids into the world when it is already overpopulated, and considering that there are plenty of kids already out there without families. So when we decided not to have any more children by birth, we told ourselves that it didn’t mean “no more children at all.” And then, eventually, we decided to talk seriously about adoption, and one thing led to another…and here we are, expectant adopting parents of a four year old girl!

Another factor is knowing quite a few people in my immediate circle who have adopted–and adopted in a variety of configurations and ways (lesbian couple doing domestic adoption, single parent adopting internationally, hetero couple adopting internationally, “biracial” family doing transracial domestic adoption…) So we have had lots of vicarious experience to reinforce our initial inclination toward adoption.

I was also privileged to share closely in another person’s international adoption experience when I accompanied them overseas as a “support person” for the adoption. It was amazing to witness and be part of that process, even from the sidelines. I felt very strongly as I watched: “wow, giving birth was amazing, and this is also amazing, and I wish I could do this, too.” I feel extremely lucky because it seems I am going to have my wish.”

“As a child, my “fantasy” was not being a wife and mother, but being a mother with marriage as an afterthought. As I became a teenager I was made aware of different types of “orphans”…and began to solidify that I wanted to adopt when older no matter if I was single or married.

I was in a couple of relationships in my 20s and these guys didn’t want to adopt so I figured I would marry and have children like most people do. When these relationships didn’t end up in marriage I focused on eliminating my student loan debt and buying a home. When I completed that, I came to the realization that there is no perfect time to have children and that I could provide for a child, so adoption was an easy decision after that.

Now I’m just in the middle and although waiting is tough, I haven’t regretted my decision to date.”

“I always wanted to be a Father. From about the age of 12 I remembered telling people I was going to adopt and they laughed at me saying I will “want my own” child(ren) when I am old enough to know. Years have passed and I still want to adopt. My wife was on board for it as well. We know that fertility would be an issue for us and would require medical intervention if it was at all possible but we haven’t even bothered to try because we both agree that adoption is the only option for our family. People ask if we feel like we are missing out and we can genuinely say we don’t. The only time we think of having biological children is when we are sick of the wait but we know just because someone gets pregnant unfortunately does not equal a baby after the 9 months of waiting. I had a friend whose wife carried a baby full term when she delivered the baby was stillborn we were all devastated.
With that said we know adoption is our first and only real option.”

“When my second husband and I did not get pregnant (likely due to my age, he’s 10 yrs younger), we did not hesitate to call an adoption agency and get the ball rolling. There was no need for infertility clinics (and my doctor still felt at my age that it was a consideration). Adoption was never a “second choice” for our family. As an interracial couple, we knew there would be doors open for us and there certainly were as we went on to adopt 4 children. Although I had parented previously, my husband had not. But he says that with all of his heart, there is no way he ever looks back and wishes we could have had a biological child. Our 4 children are ours in every way possible and we are so very blessed!”

Continue on to Adoption As A First Option (pt.2)

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This post is a continuation of Adoption As A First Option (pt. 1)

“Maybe not exactly what your asking, but my dh and I each had bio children from previous relationships. We never even discussed trying for babies with each other, and actually took measures against it. For some reason, both of us felt drawn to adopt older kids for “our” kids.”

“We did not try to conceive before we adopted, (or ever). Our oldest son was our foster son, and we were called right after his adoption was finalized to see if we were interested in putting in our home study for our youngest. We weren’t even looking to adopt either time, we’ve just been absolutely blessed!”

“I felt very early on, in childhood, that I wanted to adopt. When my husband and I met and dated, we knew before we ever married that adoption would be more important for us than giving birth. We were both of the opinion that the earth certainly had enough inhabitants already; and there were many babies/children who needed parents.

After being married for a couple of years, we had a ‘scare’ of thinking we were pregnant (totally unplanned). It turned out that I wasn’t, but it brought our minds into thinking of having children within the coming years (rather than waiting longer); and before we’d ever have an unplanned pregnancy again, we started the paperwork for genetic testing. (We felt passing on possible traits within our family tree was very unfair, and we wanted to know the odds of doing so.) It was also a way to make us feel more committed to adoption and having the justification to prove it, if necessary.

We filled out endless papers for the testing; were given an appointment; but before we could attend that appointment, we were sent orders to move overseas and we canceled the appointment. Once we received orders, we felt this was the best time to try to adopt, and made this clear to friends and relatives before we moved to Japan.

Once there, we soon saw the only adoption agency on the island (Okinawa) and were told they would start our homestudy, but needed to wait a couple of more months to be officially married for three years. (Requirement of the agency). Not only did we have the endless questions and papers to fill out; but we also had to hold an appointment with an MD to ‘justify’ our reasons to adopt, rather than give birth!!!! We had to actually ask the MD what were the chances of passing on genes we felt were inferior…and this, we did. He told us that even though we didn’t have these actual diseases, the chances were actually 50/50.
We were thrilled to have this comment, had him write this on the paperwork supplied by the agency, and were finally allowed to submit our homestudy to Korea.

On more than one occasion, we’ve been required and asked to explain our ‘wanting to adopt, rather than give birth’ to an agency. We’ve always felt this was ridiculously rude and insensitive that we should have to ‘justify’ our desire to NOT want to further populate the earth and/or pass on genetic traits we felt were unfair to pass on to future generations!!

To be sure we wouldn’t ‘birth’, we made provisions to ‘guarantee’ this. After our second child (baby) was adopted, we sought out the military to perform (sterilization). The Air Force refused, stating that they felt we were too young to decide this. However, during a ‘leave’ to the USA, dh’s childhood general physician agreed to perform the procedure and it was done.

The only time I have ever felt giving birth would have been more beneficial, was when I became totally frustrated with the waiting process…realizing that getting pregnant is usually much faster—-AND easier! (BTW….dh has NEVER felt giving birth would have been better!)

That’s our story of adoption being our first choice in a nutshell. It’s been over 26yrs that we made that choice and we’ve not regretted it.”

If you have also chosen adoption as your first option, please tell us about it in the comment section.

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Popular picture book provides vital advice for interracial and multi-cultural adoptive families. It is an essential tool for adoptive parents and their children for better understanding of adoption.

Asia Press, a small press publisher of children’s books, today announced that it will not be re-printing its popular book, “Rosie’s Family; An Adoption Story” after the current run is sold out. This accurately written and creatively illustrated children’s book has sparked widespread interest amongst parents and teachers, providing them with a practical tool for discussing adoption with young children. Thought provoking and charming, Rosie’s Family has received rave reviews from a range of leading media, while grabbing the attention of adoption agencies and booksellers alike.

Rosie’s Family was recommended by “Savvy Mommy,” Victoria Pericon, when she appeared on New York City’s local television affilliate, WCBSTV,, to review children’s adoption books.

“The illustrations are excellent in addition to clinically correct text,” reported Beth Malley, renowned adoptionn educator and author of Creating a Treasure for The Adopted Child.

“We support Rosie’s Family so strongly that we placed it in our post adoption resource kit which is given to the hundreds of families who adopt through us every year,” said Cathy Murphy, Manager of Regional Development for The Children’s Bridge, Canada’s largest English speaking adoption agency.

Today, one in six couples struglle with infertility and an increasing number are turning to adoption as a means to form their families. According to the National Adoption Information Clearinghouse, it’s estimated that 2% to 4% of American families include an adopted child. Inter-country adoption have been accelerating over the past decade and will likely continue. The result has been an increase in the number of inter-cultural and interracial families, which adds to the list of issues that adoptive families face.

“Rosie’s Family addressed the inherent issues related to interracial and multi-cultural adoption, in an easy-to-read format,” said author Lori Rosove. “The humorous and colorfully animated illustrations are attractive to children and helps in their understanding of adoption.”

Rosie’s Family is ideal for children 4-8 years old, but is also appropriate for parents and older children, including teenagers. It teaches the importance of embracing diversity and tolerance of differences amongst each other. The book addresses common adoption questions such as, “Why do I look different? Where did I come from? What were my birth parents like? Do I belong in my family?” Rosie’s Family makes it easy for parents to tackle this subject matter with their children, which if left unchecked, can leave children with unresolved concerns, possibly leading to serious affect on their self esteem development.

About the Author:
Lori Rosove is the founder of a leading adoption consultancy, Private Adoption Services, which provides services to individuals and agencies throughout the entire adoption process in both foreign and domestic adoption cases. She is also an innovative author of children’s books and created Rosie’s Family after receiving numerous requests from adoption parents for a child-friendly tool that would help them address many common issues with their children.

Order Rosie’s Family through our amazon adoption shop today.

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One of the members at our adoption forums shared a website where you can post a review (or read what others have said) about the adoption agency you worked with. I would encourage all parents who adopted through an agency to consider sharing your experience with others. It looks like you can post anonymously if you feel more comfortable doing so. Birth parents are also welcomed to leave a review of their experience. I hope to see this website grow…it would become an invaluable resource for the adoption community.

Adoption Agency Ratings

**update**: I just checked and it seems you cannot post anonymously
**update #2**: A reader posted another site where you can submit or read adoption agency reviews: Adoption Agency Reviews

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By Michele Marchetti

1. “Want to adopt? You’re on your own.”
Adoption may seem an altruistic endeavor, but it’s also a big business and a loosely regulated one. “Nobody’s watching for cheaters,” says Adam Pertman, executive director of the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute and author of Adoption Nation.

Adoption has always been a local, not federal, issue, and statutes governing it vary from state to state. Few states, Pertman says, go far enough in monitoring and enforcing standards that would prevent adoption agencies from pressuring pregnant women and lying to adoptive parents. So buyer beware.

How can you start the process with confidence? Avoid searching the Web blindly; the Internet is replete with agencies that lack a physical location a major red flag. Instead, check out the National Adoption Directory, a database funded by the Department of Health and Human Services that lists licensed agencies by state. You can research an agency’s history of complaints by contacting the licensing specialist also listed on the site in the state where your adoption will take place. Finally, the directory can point you to support groups that offer independent references for an agency.

2. “We have no idea how long this will take.”
When prospective parents ask how long an adoption will take, agencies often quote an average of one to two years. But the process can take months longer.

First, a social worker conducts a home study to gauge your ability to become an adoptive parent. It includes essays, counseling, home visits and FBI clearance. Agencies typically don’t include time for the home study in their estimates, so be sure to factor in the four months it often takes.

Next, you must wait for a child or birth mother to be identified, then go through the legal steps mostly paperwork to finalize the adoption. International adoptions, in which the children often come from orphanages, can get slowed down by the country of origin’s political problems or red tape. In domestic infant adoptions, the adoption agency compiles a profile describing each family and the environment it can provide a child. The birth mother picks the adoptive parent based on these profiles, and she can be swayed by a seemingly unimportant detail, such as prospective parents’ native state or a pet’s name. To avoid disappointment during your adoption, ask what the average wait time is for people who have yet to be picked by a birth mother.

3. “Speed now can mean heartache later.”
Although domestic adoptions are very rarely contested in court, experts estimate that about half of birth moms decide to keep the child at some point between the initial verbal commitment to adoption and the official termination of legal rights after the birth.

If an agency promises brisker-than-average results, take it as a warning that it may not be adequately investigating who else in the birth mother’s family is involved. Ask if the agency has ruled out the possibility of any biological relatives trying to claim the child. Maureen Flatley Hogan, a Boston-based adoption lobbyist, notes recent cases in which the child’s paternal grandparents challenged an adoption. You’ll also want to ask what steps were taken to include the father in the process. Beware if the agency tells you the birth mom doesn’t know who the father is. It could leave the door open for a potential father to make a claim later.

Sometimes a birth mother contacts an agency within days of her delivery. In those cases, relinquishment shouldn’t happen until she’s out of the hospital and has received eight to 12 hours of counseling with a social worker from an agency with extensive adoption experience. Otherwise she may regret her decision.

4. “You make a lot of money? Oops, our fee just went up.”
Using an agency for an adoption usually costs between $15,000 and $30,000, according to Pertman. Your out-of-pocket costs can include a home study, the process of identifying a child, placement fees and postplacement visits by a social worker. For international adoptions, they may also include the cost of visas, document translation and a contribution to the orphanage. The precise fee you’ll pay for each service varies from one agency to the next. To comparison-shop, ask agencies for an itemized list of charges, and consider dropping any firm that won’t cooperate.

Be wary of any agency that asks for your financial information before providing an itemized list of charges. A home study, required for all adoptions, usually runs between $1,000 and $3,000, but lobbyist Hogan recently came across an agency that was charging consumers 10 percent of their annual income. Other agencies have inflated charges when consumers are eligible for the adoption tax credit. If your 2003 income is below $192,390, you can claim all or a portion of the $10,130 credit. “If the agency knows a family will be eligible, they may increase the cost of the adoption because, after all, the family will get it back in their taxes,” Hogan says.

5. “Our quoted fee is only a fraction of what you’ll spend.”
Besides checking the breakdown of an agency’s fees, you’ll need to ask about extra costs that often aren’t listed at all. In an international adoption, many parents find that once they arrive in the particular country, they are asked to pay bribes to grease the wheels with government officials. For domestic infant adoptions, agencies may not tell you about your responsibility for the birth mother’s living and medical expenses, which can run several thousand dollars, until later in the game. “It is especially disturbing when a mom’s fees are charged ‘retroactively’ for periods of time when the couple didn’t even know she existed,” Hogan says.

If you’re paying a birth mother’s living expenses, ask to write the check directly to the provider, such as the birth mother’s electric company, instead of having the agency give her your money. You’ll also want to see proof of the birth mother’s medical expenses; to preserve her privacy, the agency should be able to delete the birth mother’s identifying information. According to Pertman, some agencies have charged adoptive parents for the full price of health care even though the birth mother was already covered through Medicaid or a state-subsidized program.

6. “We’ll apply more pressure than a car salesman.”
Preadoptive parents are understandably hesitant to question the kinds of activities that would in other circumstances send them running. Every adoption agency understands this insecurity; the worst firms exploit it with pressure tactics more commonly seen in an automobile dealership. There’s even the adoption world’s version of the bait and switch you arrive in a foreign country to find a child who is much older than the one you thought you were adopting or has serious medical problems. Another tactic in international adoptions: ratcheting up the pressure after the parents have received the medical history and a photo of the child and must decide if they want to adopt him. Some agencies will call the couple on a Friday and give them the weekend to decide. Or they’re told that other families or agencies are considering the child, and whoever decides first gets him. Of course, it would be irresponsible to allow a child to languish in an orphanage while a couple takes six months to decide. The best agencies balance these factors by giving the prospective parents about a week to turn down the referral or to make a tentative verbal commitment with the caveat that they can ask for additional information.

7. “The people we work with overseas are unreliable.”
When evaluating a U.S. agency that does international adoptions, ask about the people the agency works with overseas. Often called “agents” or “facilitators,” they act as liaisons between the agency and the orphanages. Many agencies have every intention of working with reputable facilitators, but in too many cases, the go-betweens have sketchy qualifications, as a Michigan family learned after adopting a child from Russia. In the course of a wrongful-adoption suit alleging that the agency failed to disclose the child’s multiple congenital anomalies, the parents discovered that the facilitator had no social-work training; he was a furniture refinisher and didn’t even speak Russian. Before committing to an agency, ask about its overseas liaisons. Are they trained child-welfare professionals? To what degree does the agency assume responsibility for the acts of employees and facilitators abroad? How are facilitators paid? Some receive salaries, which is a good sign, while others are paid for each successful find, which encourages unethical players who just want fast cash. Finally, ask your agency if it’s insured; if it isn’t, you’ll have little recourse in a potential lawsuit.

8. “Children adopted overseas have serious health risks.”
Many agencies would have you believe that children adopted overseas are healthy kids in need of nothing more than love. But many of these children arrive in the U.S. with problems that are as great as or greater than those faced by children in domestic foster care. Many children adopted overseas have spent time in institutions. As a result, there is a possibility of medical and developmental issues that should be explored before you bring a child home. For example, fetal alcohol syndrome is common among children adopted from Eastern Europe. Research has also shown that some institutionalized children have difficulty forming close relationships. The good news is that even the most severe problems can be tackled with early intervention. Some of the best agencies offer classes that cover these issues, but to learn more on your own, check out www.adoptionlearningpartners.org, which offers a comprehensive online education program entitled With Eyes Wide Open: A Preparation Guide to International Adoption for $25. Also, the list of adoption experts at www. adoptionresearch.org/research.html includes relevant articles and studies.

9. “Our medical information is incomplete.”
Once you know the potential for health problems, you’ll face another hurdle: getting specific medical information about your prospective child overseas. Record keeping in the birth country might have been slipshod, or the child may have been abandoned. Even in such cases, however, some helpful information is usually available if your agency bothers to get it. According to a survey conducted by the Adoption Institute, 15 percent of the 1,600 responding families adopting overseas reported that their agency withheld details or gave them inaccurate information about the child. At a minimum, the agency should have material on what the child looked like the day he was brought in how much he weighed, whether he was responsive and his current physical and mental health. Typically, the agency will give you a photo or videotape of the child and will hire a translator to provide a summary of his medical report. As soon as you receive the information, ask a pediatrician who specializes in international adoptees to review it. Find one on the directory at the American Academy of Pediatrics’ Web site. You should also request the original documentation so your pediatrician can compare it with the translation, checking for missing pages. Ann Arbor, Mich., pediatrician Jerri Jenista once saw two different medical reports from two different agencies about the same child. One agency failed to translate a critical sentence: “The mother was an alcoholic and murdered the child’s sibling.”

10. “You got your child . . . See ya!”
The best adoption agencies offer postadoption services that guide parents through a range of problems, from explaining adoption to the child to dealing with their own “postadoption depression,” surprisingly common among these parents. If a child develops a medical condition, parents should be able to call the agency to ask whether it runs in the birth parents’ families. One top adoption agency even arranges to have social workers meet with the child’s teachers to help them understand any problems. And many parents return to their agency when the child is old enough to consider getting in touch with the birth mother. Many agencies, however, end their services the day you bring your child home. To evaluate the level of service, ask the agency to give you names and phone numbers of three clients whose adoptions were completed at least three years ago. Ask those adoptive parents how the agency handled both postadoption services and the adoption process itself.

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The following information was compiled through various online sources. It covers ways to protect yourself against potential agency fraud.

“If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.”
— Anonymous

Agency Fraud (domestic & international):

Get references and contact them. Get references who are at different stages in the process and who have completed adoptions at different times. This is important to detect any changes in treatment as the process progresses and any changes in the agency, facilitator or attorney. Try to get references of people who had problems along the way but were able to overcome them and complete a successful adoption so you can see how the agency responds to and handles problems.

Check an adoption professional or agency out with the licensing authority in its home state. Ask for a record of complaints. The authority is usually the state’s Dept. of Social Services or Dept. of Health and Human Services, except in the case of an adoption agency operating under a lawyer’s license, in which case the authority is the state’s Bar Association. Remember, facilitators are usually unlicensed, unregulated and even illegal in some states.

Check with the foreign country’s US consulate. They may be aware of any problems with the professionals you are considering.

Use the INS and State Dept. websites to be up on all the rules, regulations and situations in whatever country you are considering. In programs where you are allowed to visit the referred child prior to finalizing the adoption, take all possible measures to insure that the adoption will, in fact, be finalized, prior to visiting. This means that you should be sure the child meets the INS definition of an orphan and that other country-specific criteria, such as DNA matching in Guatemala, have been met.

In cases where the biological mother is identified, ask the agency what kind of counseling and support their program offers to biological mothers. The answer may help reveal the agency’s commitment to fair and ethical practices.

Ask about up-front fees. Large amounts of money required before any services are provided should set off alarms and should be thoroughly investigated and compared with other agency fees.

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Choosing an adoption agency can be a mind boggling experience. Forever Parents adoption forum member and pal, Lori Dowd of Best Light Adoption Profile Review shares things to keep in mind while you’re considering which agency to use.

Needless to say, this is one of the biggest decisions you face, because you need to go where your child will be. My advice is to follow both your head and your heart. How?First, your head. Research the agency by interviewing its counselors and asking to speak with both adoptive parents and birthparents they have served. Things to ask:Ask the Agency
1. What’s the shortest wait you’ve had? What made it so short?
2. What’s the longest wait? Why do you think this couple had such a long wait? What did you do to help them?
3. What is a typical wait?
4. How many couples do you have actively waiting at one time?
5. How many placements did you have last year?
6. How do expectant parents find you? (What is the agency doing to be visible?)
7. What is your counseling approach for expectant parents? (No pushing — only providing information and supporting.)
8. How often do expectant parents decide not to proceed with an adoption after being matched with adoptive parents?
9. At what stage of the pregnancy do you suggest expectant parents choose adoptive parents? (Many professionals suggest not entering a match until at least 7 months into the pregnancy. Expectant parents go through a lot of ups and downs, and you don’t want to be riding that roller coaster for more than 2 months.)
10. Please explain your fee schedule. (A large portion — up to 1/3 of the total — should be due only after placement.)

Ask Adoptive Parents
11. How long was your wait?
12. What kind of grief counseling did the agency offer you? (Expect some support in healing from infertility so you are ready to parent whole-heartedly).
13. How active was your agency? (e.g. was there a stream of expectant parents looking at profiles?)
14. What kind of after-adoption support is available? (Look for an agency that provides post-adoption counseling or parenting classes as part of the supervision process — very helpful).
15. What kind of relationship do you have now with your child’s birth family?

Ask Birth Parents
16. How did you come by your decision to make an adoption plan? (A good agency will let the expectant parents take the lead and not push them into ANY option. This is CRUCIAL to reducing the risk of expectant parents changing their minds. The decision HAS to be freely made, and I would run fast from an agency that puts pressure on expectant parents to “give up” a baby.)
17. To what degree did you feel supported by the agency?
18. If you had a friend who was pregnant and needed help deciding what to do, would you recommend this agency?
19. How did you hear about the agency? (You are trying to see how visible the agency is to people in unintended pregnancies.)
20. What kind of relationship do you have now with your child’s adoptive family?
Look for healthy situations where both parties feel well-served and well-represented by an agency. A good agency will make the adoption process collaborative (with the child as the focus), rather than adversarial (where one side’s loss is the other’s gain).

After you gather the facts, let your heart weigh in on the decision. Sit quietly and find out what your intuition tells you. If you have a “feeling” about an agency, go with that feeling. Adoption — like parenting — is a very intuitive process. Adopting with your head and heart will prepare you to parent with your head and heart.

Copyright 2006 by Lori Dowd, MA.
BestLight Adoption Profile Review

Related Tags: adoption, adopt, adopting, domestic infant adoption, adoption agencies

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Families who hoped to adopt babies from the Marshall Islands accuse the Utah firm of negligence
By Kirsten Stewart: The Salt Lake Tribune

Nine families who had hoped to adopt Marshallese babies through Legacy International Adoptions are now suing the Utah agency, arguing it lied to them and duped birth mothers into traveling to the United States to relinquish their infants.

The adoptions were never finalized, but the attempts violated state, federal and foreign law, charges the lawsuit, which promises to fuel international criticism of Utah adoption agencies.

Legacy is the second Utah agency to come under fire recently for work in the Pacific Islands. In March, owners of Focus on Children were indicted for allegedly running a baby-smuggling operation in Samoa.

In those nations, adoptions are casual – children don’t lose ties with their birth parents, they instead create a link between families. And there have been allegations in both countries that birth mothers were falsely promised they would keep close ties with their adopted children.

Legacy’s owner, Teresa Snow of Salt Lake City, did not immediately respond to calls about the suit, filed Tuesday in 3rd District Court. Her agency is no longer licensed in Utah. While a state licensing official said in June that a federal indictment against the agency was pending, the office of the U.S. Attorney for Utah did not comment Thursday.

Vanishing birth mothers:
The nine U.S. families are seeking a refund as well as punitive damages. Most of them are from Utah, with two from Idaho and one in Florida. None would comment, including the group’s lawyer, Rick Rose, who also attempted to adopt a child through the agency and is a plaintiff.

International adoption – including from the tiny Republic of the Marshall Islands – skyrocketed in the late 1990s. But in 2002, evidence of fraud and coercion in the industry spurred a crackdown by Marshallese officials. Legacy was suspended from doing business there in February 2002. Now all adoptions must be done inside the country, and only one U.S. agency is authorized. The government also banned the practice of taking Marshallese women out of the country for the purpose of surrendering children. But in 2006, Legacy still “held itself out as an expert” in Marshallese adoption, according to the lawsuit.
The agency “continuously assured” the prospective adoptive parents that the birth mothers were fully informed of the terms of the adoptions, and promised to arrange travel, medical and housing expenses for the mothers.

Those promises proved false, the suit alleges. In November 2006, after learning the “actual” terms, several Marshallese birth mothers – who had already made the trek to America and been “matched” with families – backed out of the adoptions and returned home, the suit said.

Lindsey Wells, of Willard, is one of the adoptive parents pursuing damages. She declined to discuss the suit Thursday, but said in an earlier interview that she and her husband signed on with Legacy in July 2006. In November, the agency charged her $3,000 to fly a pregnant Marshallese woman to Utah, she said. Wells said she never met the woman, though the agency cashed her check.

‘Meant to be’:
But Ryan and Shirlene Pimentel, of Idaho Falls, say Legacy workers were honest and professional when the couple adopted a Marshallese girl through the agency in 2005. Shirlene Pimentel said she met the girl’s birth mother, Atrine, several times in person, during her pregnancy and shortly after Atrine delivered and surrendered the baby at a Utah hospital. Atrine became pregnant out of wedlock and the baby’s father wouldn’t support her, said Shirlene, who remembers the young woman as a bit shy, but fluent in English and “fully aware” that the adoption was permanent. When Atrine handed the baby over to the Pimentels, she gave the baby a kiss and had tears in her eyes, “but seemed really OK,” said Shirlene. The couple gave their contact information to Atrine, but haven’t heard from her since she returned to the Marshall Islands.

High school sweethearts, the Pimentels dated for eight years before marrying. They tried for eight years to have children before deciding to adopt. They ran into another Idaho family who had adopted from the Marshall Islands and recommended Legacy. The Pimentels, now in their early 30s, took out a second mortgage on their home to cover the expenses, about $20,000. The adoption took about six months.
They can’t imagine life without their now-22-month-old daughter, who they say was a little colicky as an infant, but healthy. The toddler never sits still, is a real “chatter box,” and when she is tired, she sucks on two fingers, said Ryan Pimentel. The family’s small house is on a full acre of land, shared with six cats, two horses and two dogs.

“Things happen for a reason. I believe this child was meant to be with this family,” said Shirlene Pimentel, who would like to adopt another Marshallese child, but fears the “door has closed.”

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If you’re just starting out with your adoption journey and are considering using an agency, this printable might come in handy.

Questions to Ask an Adoption Agency

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Another couple has come forward, complaining about a San Antonio adoption agency. The husband and wife say they gave Adoption Services Worldwide about $20,000 and got nothing in return. The couple says their only option was to adopt. So, they handed over their life savings.

Then two years later and still no baby, the agency called them to say they were closing down. They didn’t get their money back.

“You have begged for money, you have saved, you have scrimped. They have all your money,” says the woman who doesn’t want to be identified.

The couple is speaking out because they want others to research thouroughly before choosing an adoption agency.

The agency didn’t close. On Wednesday we told you about another couple that’s suing Adoption Services Worldwide for negligence. They too, say they lost $20,000.

Adoption Services Worldwide has an unsatisfactory record with the Better Business Bureau for not responding to another complaint. The agency tells News-4 that rating is wrong and they’re working to get it corrected.

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