You should steer clear of planning a surprise celebration on the day the family brings their child home. This can be a very emotional time – the new parents and child (especially if the child is older) will need a period of adjustment. It is very important to be sensitive to their needs. In this case, delivering care packages and planning your celebration for a later date would be acceptable and appreciated. Be sure to talk with the new parents and find out what their wants and needs are before you set a shower date.

Your shower invitations should be sent out three to four weeks in advance, and should include the time, date, and location of the shower. Don’t forget to set an RSVP date with your telephone number and address. If it is at all possible, include the child’s birth date, as well as when he or she was officially adopted or welcomed into the home of his or her new parents. This will help your guests to pick age appropriate gifts. In the case of foreign adoptions, you could also add information about the birth country to inform your guests.

As with other baby showers, the theme for an adoption baby shower should be the same. However, if the child that was adopted is older, you should tailor your party to suit their age and favorite things. For example, a small girl might love everything that involves the Disney princesses and may go absolutely crazy over the color pink. In turn, an older boy may be fascinated by soccer and anything green. Don’t be afraid to be a little creative to help make the party a special celebration to welcome the new child into your circle of family and friends!

Baby shower games are important too! However, stay away from games that are maternity-related. It’s very important that you keep in mind that you are celebrating the gift of adoption. Your games help set the tone of the party, and should be mixed in with any other activity going on. An average shower lasts about two hours, so look at playing two to three party games. If the new parents are adopting an older child, make sure your games reflect that as well. One great adoption party activity is to organize a Welcome Book for the new child. Ask guests to bring pictures of themselves and their families to assemble into a scrapbook page they will create at the shower.

All of your shower decorations will naturally depend on the style, theme, and number of people attending. Balloons and streamers are standard, but there are a lot of creative and fun ideas to make the party extra-special. You’re truly only limited by your imagination here.

If the adoption is an international one, you could use decorations that reflect the child’s place of birth, and include recipes from his or her home country. For guests, it will be a learning experience.
As with decorations, party favors should match your shower theme and party size. Your favors can be used as place settings, prizes, or they can be handed out at the end of the party. A very popular idea for adoption showers is a special program for guests to keep. Written inside should be commitments to the child from his or her new parents, poems about love, family, and adoption, and prayers for the future.
When labeling your favor, keep in mind that your party is, again, in honor of an adoption, not a birth. Your wording on gift tags should reflect that.

Adoption is a very exciting time for the new parents. A baby shower or welcome party allows friends and family members to share in on the family’s joy. When you host or even attend such a party, it is very important to know the needs and wants of the parents. Be sure to know ahead of time how old the child is. Find out if the parents have registered anywhere. Parents who are adopting should be reminded that they can actually register for older children as well as newborns.

By planning and hosting an adoption party, you are helping the new family formalize the acceptance of their child into their circle. You will be creating an occasion that will be documented for the child to look at in the future and remind them how much they were welcomed and loved from the start.

About the Author: Amanda Baker writes for All Things Pondered: http://www.allthingspondered.com – A place to learn, share and grow! Amanda also writes for To Be Informed : http://tobeinformed.com – Health, Fitness and Wellness.

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One of the myths that was posted several times was about adoption being a “last resort” or something we HAVE TO do:

“All adoptive parents “have to” adopt because they can’t “have their own” children. Reality: lots of families CHOOSE to adopt for lots of different reasons, including medical, religious, etc. that do NOT include infertility. The corollary to this myth is that adoption is a family’s second choice”.

“Adoption is the always the last choice after trying all other fertility options “

“You only chose to adopt after spending tons of money trying to have a child “Naturally”.

“Adoption is the always the last choice after trying all other fertility options ”

“They are infertile and adopt because they can’t have their “own” children (often not the case”

Another myth that came up was that somehow you can’t love an adopted child as much as a biological child.

“That no adoptive parent can really love an adopted child as much as they love ‘their own’”

“You could never really love a kid that isn’t “yours”.”

“You can’t love a child unless they are genetically related to you”

A few members brought up that people think you had to be rich to adopt.

“It is a myth that you need lots of money or have to own a home, have a huge savings accounts, be of a certain age, etc”.

“You have to be rich to adopt”

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When the child’s family history was unknown, there was fear that they might not become bearers of genetically sound progeny. There was concern that they might not have marriage potential. Then there were the rumors of illegitimacy, of ill repute, of infidelity. Families guarded the secret of adoption for these children whom they had grown to love.

Recently I spoke to a genealogist who had found photos of her great-grandfather posted by someone that was unknown to her. When she enquired, it turned out that the man making the queries had no idea that his grandmother had been adopted, along with three other girls. The genealogist friend of mine had been piecing together the small clues that letters and records had left behind. My friend was descended from one of the girls, but that was a step-parent adoption. There were two biological sisters out of the four, with connections to the mother. “Was there contact between your grandmother and her biological father?” I asked. “Yes”, she said, “But Great-Grandaddy put a stop to it.” She started describing various gifts that had been received and returned.

An ancestor of mine from the early to mid-1800′s was a politician. He was also an adoptee. There were rumors of a barmaid birthmother. His political competitor tried to mar his reputation, and was successfully sued.

It appears that historically, closed adoption practices were chosen for child-centered reasons, not for the benefit of the adoptive parents. Although in the early days children were all needed to help with chores and to bring in the crops, the intent of child adoption was primarily one of family structure and not one of economic benefits. Those adoptions which were obvious among society typically were the children of relatives. A wealthy mechant’s wife who was in her thirties with no children, took in the daughters of her sisters, who had died of smallpox. One particularly interesting 18th century story is that of a woman who had survived losing the top of her skull in an attack, to have given birth to her seventeenth child. However, the records show that there was a woman who eventually became the second wife, who tended to the family and to the injured spouse for years until her death.

Some people even used adoption itself as a way to conceal the truth from other relatives. The secrecy of adoption protected someone from intense questioning. A woman who did not want her daughter to learn about her grandparents told her an elaborate adoption story all of her life. When the case was researched, the records were all there – NOT adopted in Ireland and raised in a Catholic orphanage, but one of five children born in the same New England town.

Prior to the 1920s, birth certificates were not always issued. Sometimes that was a problem for people looking for jobs or an education. The secrecy of adoption was closely guarded in the days when there were no laws protecting people’s rights. People depended upon references to document their lives, or Baptismal records to show proof of family connections. One man needed his mother’s notarized statement in order to enter a military academy.

Without widespread adoption regulations and practices, the process to adopt orphans was as simple as going to get them and bring them home, to interviews and questioning. While we think of the ease in which adoptions could be obtained in days long ago, we must also remember why child labor laws and other protective laws were created. Philosophies and theories abound, child-centered adoption practices will continue to evolve.

Written by Keadie

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If you ask an adoptee who the “real” parents are, chances are the child will point to the actively parenting, adoptive parents. Mother’s Day and Father’s Day cards have words describing active parenting, nurturing qualities. But when “outsiders” continue to push by saying, “You know who I mean! The people who gave birth to you!”, it is a negative reinforcer to any triad member who is forced to acknowledge loss. The child has lost a biological connection to his or her parents. The adoptive parent or parents have to acknowledge yet again the loss of a biological connection to their children. The biological parents may feel validated that they are recognized as parents, but they are not actively raising the child.

Fact is: We’re ALL real. No one side can ignore the reality of the other. We can put up blinders or go into denial, but those people aren’t going away. Again, the “outsiders” insist: “You KNOW it’s not the same! You don’t get the same love that you would if your REAL parents were raising you!” Oh, really? I can’t think of a single adoptive parent who wouldn’t risk life or limb for their adopted children. Adoptive parents are the only Certified parents. Many of us wish that all parents had to go through the scrutiny which we have undergone in order to raise the babies they have. We see so many children whom we’d like to protect from neglect and abuse, but cannot because society places blood ties ahead of us.

Adoption isn’t altruistic. We are not selfless givers worthy of praise. Our children don’t owe us anything for the act of adopting them. We are not saints worthy of praise by “outsiders” for somehow doing some noble thing. Then of course the comment, “Well, I couldn’t have done what you are doing” may be heard, which also is so destructive to people touched by adoption. Adoption satisfies hardship needs. People who are unable to parent their children find loving homes for them. People who are unable to conceive have children placed in their arms. Children who need immediate, loving parents are provided with them. Nobody in the adoption triad should be expecting to be put upon a pedastal for having their needs met. No one should be guilted because adoptive needs were met.

Realness can be demonstrated repeatedly, and not just by DNA. Parenting is a lifetime career. Just as a newly “Empty Nester” mom whose life was lived through raising those adopted children with every cell of her being.

What happens when those kids turn eighteen? We’ve heard, “Don’t you realize that one day he will go back to his own kind?” by the “outsiders”. Consider the adult adoptees that you know and with whom you have grown up. Real history has built their foundation of what it means to be in the adoptive family. That cement is solid and won’t go away. Being the active mother or father for all of those years, with all of the attachment and memories, the subsequent siblings, neighborhood, childhood friends: that’s Real. If we as adoptive parents have provided a loving, stable, supportive, responsible home for children not born to us, then we have nothing to fear when they grow up. Likewise, we need to feel secure about ourselves to know that other adults in our adult childrens’ lives will not displace us as their parents. Have the people in your adult life replaced your own parents? Chances are, no. History is Real.

This is not to say that we must step aside. I’m not advocating that at all. Be the parent that you would have liked to have, that you dream of becoming. Think of how your child must tactfully deal with all of the adults that he/she loves in his/her life. Become the support system upon which your child can depend. When all is said and done, a child has been born, raised, and became a productive and loving adult as a result of positive role models, dedicated and loving parents, and mentors. Your job as a Real parent is to make that your child’s Reality.

Written by Keadie

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“Becoming a mother is the best thing that has ever happened to me,” Vardalos said. “I am happy to once again be a part of National Adoption Day. We were matched with our daughter through the U.S. foster care system, and my goal is to share information about the more than 120,000 foster care children in this country who are waiting for a family.”

Vardalos is an advocate for U.S. foster care adoption and took her cause to the public arena when she and her husband, actor Ian Gomez, adopted their daughter from foster care in 2008. She served as the National Adoption Day spokesperson in 2009.

“The good news is that on this day, thousands of children will be adopted into loving homes,” Vardalos added. “The sad news is there are hundreds of thousands of children in foster care waiting to be adopted. If your desire is to become a parent, please connect with your local foster family agency to find out how to give a home to a child. The process is simple, affordable and does not discriminate. This is how I became a mom — and the reason I’m smiling.”

Vardalos is active with the adoption organization, AdoptUSKids, aimed at recruiting and connecting foster and adoptive families with waiting children throughout the United States. “Nia’s personal story of foster care adoption is both heartwarming and encouraging,” said Rita Soronen, executive director of the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, a founding sponsor of National Adoption Day. “She has selflessly and gracefully worked to spread awareness for foster care adoption, and the National Adoption Day Coalition is honored to have Nia as our national spokesperson again this year.”

This year on November 20, communities in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico and Guam will hold celebrations to finalize more than 4,500 foster care adoptions, bringing the total number of finalized adoptions as part of National Adoption Day to more than 35,000. Judges, attorneys, adoption agencies, adoption professionals and child advocates volunteer their time to finalize adoptions and celebrate all families who adopt. For more information about the events taking place and foster care adoption, please visit www.nationaladoptionday.org.

National Adoption Day Coalition Partners: Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, Freddie Mac Foundation, Annie E. Casey Foundation/Casey Family Services, Children’s Action Network, The Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute and The Alliance for Children’s Rights.

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Unlike adoptions in many other countries, where parents learn the identities of their children rather late in the process, Haitian adoptions typically match parents up with children near the beginning. That gives parents the opportunity to travel to Haiti multiple times during the adoption process to spend time with their children and bond with them.

The waiting game had been hard enough before Tuesday’s earthquake, with parents worrying daily about malnourished sons and daughters they had already come to know quite well. But since the earthquake, many have no way of knowing whether their children are alive or dead.

For parents who have gotten word that their children are still alive, the worries are far from over. They’re terrified that food and water supplies will run out for their already compromised kids, and they’re filled with dread that the lengthy and cumbersome adoption process in Haiti is about to become much longer.

The U.S. State Department said that it is working with the Department of Homeland Security to determine how to handle the cases of the 254 Haitian children who are in the process of being adopted into U.S. homes. Adopting parents can send their information, including the names of their children and orphanages, to AskCI@state.gov, so the State Department has a good way to contact parents. Click for more information on the adoption process in Haiti.

For people interested in Haiti adoption, the State Department issued the following statement on the issue:

The State Department has received calls from Americans offering to open their homes and adopt Haitian children in need.

It is extremely difficult in circumstances such as this to determine whether children who appear to be orphans are eligible for adoption. Children may be temporarily separated from parents and other family. It is particularly difficult to fulfill the U.S. and local requirements for legal adoption when civil authority is handicapped in its ability ensure the best interests of children and their families have been protected. For now, U.S. citizens can best help the children of Haiti through financial contribution to the relief effort.

Adoptions from Haiti make up a fraction of international adoptions to the United States each year, but the number has been growing steadily as countries such as China and Guatemala have slowed or closed to international adoption in recent years. The U.S. State Department issued 330 immigrant visas to Haitian children last year, up from 96 in 1999.

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The summer before Becca turned six, we moved to a new neighborhood, so that she could have a yard, a playroom, and (eventually) a puppy. A “plus” was that the neighborhood was majority Asian, with the largest proportion of the Asians being Chinese. While Becca had a few close friends and many acquaintances who were adopted from China, like her, she previously had relatively little contact with Chinese children who were living with their biological families.

We quickly discovered that most of the Chinese families knew little about adoption, although the Washington, DC metro area has a very large number of families formed by adoption and, particularly, international adoption. We had to do quite a lot of educating to do!

Some of the families, who harbored negative feelings about the current government in China, did not realize that the U.S. and China had worked wonderfully well together, since about 1992, on adoption matters, and that China had managed to develop one of the best organized and cleanest adoption programs in the world.

Some of these families thought that Becca was from Taiwan, since it was assumed that the U.S. government was friendly to that country and hostile to China. Some of the assumptions about Taiwan, of course, were also made because Becca’s birth city of Xiamen is right across the straits from Taiwan, and many Taiwanese look like, and have relatives from, Xiamen and the surrounding areas of Fujian province. Becca definitely could have been mistaken for Taiwanese, based on appearance alone.

And, of course, some of the families thought that I had smuggled Becca out of China and into the U.S. illegally. Human trafficking is not unknown in China, and many Chinese people can probably tell you about trafficking in young females for slavery or prostitution, as well as about illegal immigration of Chinese adults and children into the U.S. for more positive reasons. Our neighbors were really quite startled when I explained that both China and the U.S. agreed to my adoption, and that it was in full compliance with both U.S. and Chinese adoption laws.

Some of the Chinese families were a bit surprised that a Caucasian person would consider adopting a child of another race and ethnicity. In China, as in many countries, the “blood tie” is considered very important, and some people simply can’t imagine parenting a child who is not biologically related to them.

I also got asked if I was going to tell Becca that she was adopted, which was funny, given that we are of different races, and given that I told her a mini-version of her adoption story on the first night I met her and every night thereafter for the first few years of her life. It was part of our bedtime ritual, and ended with how I “flew all day and all night” to come get her, because “she needed a Mommy and I needed a little girl.”

And, of course, in our new neighborhood, Chinese people didn’t ask, “DOES your child go to Chinese school?” They asked, “WHERE does your child go to Chinese school?” In many Chinese families, preservation of one’s ancestral language and culture is extremely important. The children of even some very assimilated families go to one of several good Chinese schools in the area on either Saturday or Sunday. In a sense, if you are a child, you won’t be considered Chinese if you don’t go to Chinese school.

At that time, I wasn’t sending Becca to Chinese school, because she was already in an immersion Hebrew class; modern Israeli Hebrew, along with Biblical and liturgical Hebrew, was taught for almost 50% of each school day. I felt that her private school was extremely challenging, and that she was already spending more hours on academics than most children. As a result, since she also did not have a strong desire to go to Chinese school until she was in about fifth grade, we chose not to spend our weekends there.

Of course, there was also the woman who offered to help me find a nice Chinese husband, so that my daughter would have a Chinese Daddy! The assumption was that every Chinese child should also have at least one Chinese parent, so that he/she is properly raised.

While I am a single woman (long divorced), and have no objection to remarrying if the right person comes along, I am in no hurry to find someone, of any ancestry. My life was (and still is) very full and happy, with my daughter, my career, and so on. I was also in my 50s when I adopted, and pretty set in my ways, so I figured that it would take a pretty special person to make me willing to negotiate the compromises necessary for a good marriage. I also happen to be Jewish, and would want a marriage partner to share my commitment to having a Jewish home; there just aren’t a lot of Chinese Jews around, though, of course, my daughter is one, by conversion.

Becca quickly became used to the fact that I talked about adoption openly and often, both professionally and personally. I was the head of a well known adoption advocacy organization at the time. She heard me use positive adoption language, and also heard me deal with questions about things like China’s one-child policy and the abandonment of children as a way of making an adoption plan; we often talked about what she heard, after she came to a meeting or Chinese playgroup with me.

So it didn’t really surprise me, one day, when we were taking a walk and a Chinese girl of about Becca’s age yelled across the street to her, “YOU LOOK CHINESE!” Becca calmly yelled back, “WELL, I AM CHINESE!” The child yelled again, “BUT YOUR MOM’S NOT CHINESE!”

At this point, I decided to cross the street with Becca, so that we could continue the conversation with the girl in more normal tones of voice. We explained that I had adopted Becca. The American-born daughter of Chinese parents was horrified, and asked Becca, “But don’t you want to go back to China and live with your Chinese Mommy?” Obviously, she had a Chinese Mommy whom she adored, and thought that EVERYONE should have a Chinese Mommy.

At that point, Becca grabbed me and hugged me, proclaiming, “THIS is my Mommy.” I was so thrilled that she had made this response, that I nearly cried. Becca was a very social child, to the point where I sometimes worried about attachment issued. But there was clearly no need to worry. She knew who her Mommy was, and was very glad to have me, no matter what color I was.

Becca was young then – maybe about six or seven. As someone pointed out in an earlier post, adopted children change their perceptions about adoption, often multiple times, as they grow up.

At seven, Becca would have told you that I was her “real” Mommy. She knew about babies in tummies, used the word “birthmother”, and so on, but she wasn’t able to develop an emotional construct that included feelings about her birthparents. Her birthmother was just a Chinese woman who physically brought her into the world. What mattered was the woman (me) who raised her, read with her, sent her to school, bought her nice clothes, arranged her playdates, gave interesting birthday parties, and more.

A few years later, however, Becca began to see the situation differently. As she said to me, “My birthmother also took care of me for about 9 months after I was born. You didn’t have me in your tummy, but you adopted me and have taken care of me since you met me. So you are a real mother, too.”

Initially, I was a bit shocked and saddened by what Becca said. I felt, somehow, diminished, by being one of two mothers. Yet when I thought about it, I realized that Becca was absolutely right. Her birthmother AND birthfather cannot and should not be treated as unimportant. They conceived a child, whether or not they planned to do so. They gave the child the genetic profile that affects not just his/her appearance, but also his/her personality, health status, and so on – all the things that make him/her unique and special to me.

In Becca’s case, it appears that her birthparents also gave her a lot of love for about 9 months after her birth – she is a very loving and empathic child – and that they probably would not have abandoned her if some very serious situation had not made them unable to continue parenting. I don’t know what that situation was, but my gut feeling is that they grieve and feel guilty, to this day.

Of course, as Becca learned more about human sexuality and headed into the teen years, the pendulum swung back, just a bit. She asked me, “Why didn’t my birthparents just use birth control, if they knew about the one child policy and that they might have to pay huge penalties for having a baby?” Even though she was glad to be alive and in an adoptive family, she admitted that she felt very angry at her birthparents for bringing a child into the world, only to abandon her. She said that every child has the right to be born into a family that wants him/her.

Teens are often very dogmatic people. It’s easy for Becca to say, “Use birth control or have an abortion.” It’s not so easy for her to understand that, in China, some people want a baby so badly that they will try to hide the pregnancy and the newborn from official eyes, and abandon the baby only when it becomes impossible to do otherwise. It’s not so easy for her to understand that condoms can fail – she’s not yet sexually active, thank goodness. It’s not so easy for her to understand that some people oppose abortion because they feel that a fetus is a person from the moment of conception.

It’s not so easy for her to understand, as well, that “stuff happens”. A parent loses a job and can’t support his/her family. A parent has a serious accident that leaves him/her paralyzed and unable to pursue his/her previous occupation or care for a child. An activist parent is incarcerated for his/her political views. A spouse walks out of a marriage, leaving the other parent to raise the children AND pay the bills. A child becomes ill or is born with a medical issue, and the parents cannot afford or obtain the care he/she needs.

But I respect Becca for realizing that the decision to have sex, as well as the decision to have a baby, should not be made lightly or in the heat of passion. I also respect her for realizing that these decisions should be made with a focus on the child that could be created. She is right. Every child SHOULD be born into a family that wants him/her and can care for him/her. The problem is that we are human; we sometimes make bad decisions or mistakes. And adoption is a way of rectifying one type of situation, so that a child – even if not born into a family that wants and can take care of him/her – can be raised in a loving family.

Sharon

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When we adopted our children, they were 5, 8 and 11 and had been in the foster system for 4 years, the last three being spent with foster parents Pat & Bill.  Over the several months spent getting to know our kids, before we finalized the adoption, we also got to know Pat & Bill quite well. They were a source of information and insight into these three children, each of which had their own story to tell. Early on I felt it was important to keep ties with them, if for no other reason but to stop the cycle of caregivers coming in and out of my children’s lives. I’ve written about this in more detail so I won’t get to far off track here but out of that came our annual Christmas get together. What makes it even more special is that a boy, Lance who lived with Pat & Bill during the same time, got adopted by a couple that lives in our city and they come also. They have since adopted Lance’s biological brother and Pat & Bill always bring their current foster children so this year we had six adults and eight kids. It would have been nine but my son won’t be home until later this month. More about that in another post.

If you are a foster parent, please know that you are making a difference in that child’s life. Nurturing and love can go a long way for a child that is hurting and by providing that, you are helping to heal their heart. You have my admiration and my thanks.

Okay – on to the festivities!

I take a picture of each of my kids with Pat & Bill every year and it’s really something to see the change from year to year! Here’s Jacqueline (11) and Shawna (14).

That’s me poking my head out around Chris. He’s the dad that adopted Lance and Michael.

That’s my husband Billy talking with Chris.

I hope you had a wonderfully joyful holiday!

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The following was submitted by Beth, one of our blog readers. Leave a comment here if you’d like to share your adoption story also.

We have three children. Our oldest daughter and son were adopted at birth. Our youngest son was adopted right before his tenth birthday. This is a story of both joy and sorrow, excitement and patience, and most importantly, unconditional love.

My husband and I were married in 1965. Like most young couples at that time, we wanted children. We started trying right away. After two years, and no baby, we sought out medical advice. Unlike the medical treatments and techniques available today, in vitro fertilization, hormone therapies, etc., were not available at that time – at least not to us. We both worked, but didn’t have a lot of expendable cash, and we turned to the only thing we knew – adoption.

Even back then, the adoption process was not a quick one. We applied for adoption through the State of Wisconsin, and were subjected to background checks, home visits, and social worker interviews before we would even be considered. But fortunately, we were put on “the list” and began the waiting game. In the fall of 1969, we were told that a baby boy was available for adoption. We were ecstatic! We could hardly wait to see our son and bring him home. But finally, after more waiting, and interviews and home visits galore, we were able to pick up our baby boy. And he was beautiful – perfect, just like we imagined he would be. It’s hard to put into words how much you can love someone so little, how much that little person can make a couple into a family. But he did. There’s nothing that can explain the love and pride you have in your own child – it didn’t matter that we didn’t conceive him, it mattered that he was put in our hands to love and guide for the rest of our lives. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world.

In the summer of 1971, we were able to experience this joy for the second time. This time, we adopted a baby girl – and now we felt our family was complete. You think you can’t love anyone more than your first child, and then the second comes along and you realize your heart just gets bigger and you can love another child just as much as the first. It took about a year for each of our children to become “officially” ours, meaning, when the court turned over full custody to us.

After some time, we decided to adopt again. However, it had become more difficult at this point. My husband was over 35. Apparently this was some magic number suggesting that he was too old to care for an infant. So once again, we began the adoption process, this time hoping to adopt a toddler or young child. Once again, we were subjected to home visits, only now, the social workers also interviewed our children. I guess they were trying to asses if this would be a good home for a child. It took longer this time. Another thing that was different, is that we had some choice – we were able to read case files on children to see if they would be a good fit for our family. We could “accept” or “reject” them. We finally found a boy that seemed like he would be a good fit for our family – he was nine years old at the time, older than we had hoped.

Unlike with an infant, he had to do home visits with us and he also got to decide if we were a good family for him. I think this took a couple of months. It was different than adopting a baby – when our older son and daughter were placed in our arms, they were ours, totally and completely. This boy knew his other mother and grandparents. At the same time, once we got to know him, we started to fall in love with him, just as we had done with our older children. The process was different, but the end result was the same – after about a year, he became our son legally, and we couldn’t have loved him any more.

Thank you for letting me share.
Beth

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A Home For The Holidays shares, through the eyes of a child, the joy of having a family – not just for the holidays, but every day and forever. Each December, Wendy’s International, Inc., the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption and Children’s Action Network present A Home for the Holidays, a CBS network television special bringing together all-star talent to raise awareness for foster care adoption.

In its 11th year, the special will feature Faith Hill and include performances by Carrie Underwood, Mary J. Blige, Reba McEntire, Michael Franti and Shakira.
Nia Vardolos and Jenna Elfman are among the celebrities who will present inspirational stories of extraordinary families who share the joys found through foster care adoption.

Since 1999, this heartwarming holiday special has generated tens of thousands of calls to the Foundation from viewers moved to action after hearing true stories of waiting children and families who adopted from foster care.

A Home for the Holidays
Celebrating families who adopt and the children in foster care who still wait.
December 23, 2009
8:00 – 9:00 p.m. EST/PST
7:00 – 8:00 p.m. MST/CST

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