The Joys and Challenges of Parenting Special Needs...

When I tell people that I have adopted, and that my daughter has special needs, almost always the response is some variation of, “And you didn’t know that before you adopted her?” as if to expect some horror story. But yes of course, we knew fully that she had autism and global delays before we even applied to adopt her. We were emotionally prepared for that. And she is perfect in our eyes. As our daughter...

What If The Child You’re Planning On Adoptin...

 The following scenario happens more often than you might guess; hopeful adoptive parents are pre-birth matched with an expectant mom, and the baby - either during delivery or born with unknown problems, is special needs. Besides being a shock to the hopeful adopting parents, the inevitable decision has to be made by them: “Do we now want to adopt this baby—or walk away?” While that kind of thinking might sound...

Adopting Special Needs Babies

A couple of days ago, our local paper printed an editorial debating abortion and adoption. This entry isn’t to debate that; but a comment made within the editorial that really set me back. She made reference that most families want a healthy white baby and few, if anyone—ever wanted (among her list)— ‘special needs babies‘. Really? The writer needed to check her resources before printing comments like that...

A Different Kind Of Normal

A Different Kind of Normal by Joan McNamara Every adoption has its own story, woven from the tears and hopes of each person and family involved. For some families, the process of adoption is itself a grand adventure; for others it’s a painful and challenging ordeal. After adoption, while some parents and children seem to “live happily ever after,” or at least bump along normally, a smaller number of families...

Adopting A Child With Down Syndrome

I really loved this article about adopting a child with down syndrome. My older two children came to us with needs that typical children don’t usually have and I appreciate when I read about families who focus on the JOY that these kids brought into their lives. When a family adopts a child with a disability, it changes their life and the dynamic of their family in ways they could have never imagined. Some families who...

Reactive Attachment Disorder in Young Adoptees

My oldest child (adopted at 11 years old in 2003) struggles with severe emotional issues. He was diagnosed with reactive attachment disorder while still in foster care and his inability to control his anger is leading him down a path that concerns me. When we adopted him, we knew he had issues to deal with and we have done more to help him than we even thought we had in us. I’ll write more about RAD in another post but...

Reactive Attachment Disorder

Last year, my 10 year old daughter and I had an interesting conversation. It started with my husband and I talking with her about how she tries to manipulate & control people. We were basically talking with her about how people want to be treated and that manipulating & controlling people, and situations is not a way to gain trust. So we asked her why she thinks she does it. She thought for a moment and said “I...

Children with Reactive Attachment Disorder

My husband, our son ‘C’ and our friends go to Daytona every year for the Rolex race. The friends they go with are my childrens former foster brother (who got adopted soon after them) and his father. ‘C’ always enjoy himself while he’s there. It’s when he comes back that there’s a problem. The day after we go anywhere, he’s usually very argumentative, short tempered and does a...