Five Things To Remember When You Adopt An Older Ch...

According to 2005 statistics, there are over 500,000 children in foster care, with the average age being ten years old. Adopting older children can be very rewarding but it’s not for the faint of heart. These children will bring you every bad experience they’ve had and dump it right into your unsuspecting lap. I adopted not one, but three older children and I’ve learned a few things along the way. 1) Don’t freak...

On the Outside Looking In: The Adoptive Parent Exp...

Written by Keadie People often wonder why adoptive and preadoptive parents need support. It is assumed that adoptive parents have “all the joy and none of the pain”. Many have no idea what trials and tribulations adoptive families endure to “become real”. The devastation of childlessness can be a crippling disability, terribly misunderstood. Pre-adoptive parents seek to share their joy with their...

Adoptees: Choices, Not Blankets

It’s presumptuous to make a blanket statement about any group of people. It’s inappropriate to assume that an individual will like or dislike something without first getting his or her input. Then why are blanket statement being made about open vs. closed adoption? The unbiased truth about the matter is, there are voices from all triad sides proclaiming the merits of both, yes both. While this country proudly...

Adoption Myths

A few months ago, we had a conversation on the adoption forums about what we felt were the most common myths about adoption, specifically about those of us who adopt a child. One of the myths that was posted several times was about adoption being a “last resort” or something we HAVE TO do: “All adoptive parents “have to” adopt because they can’t “have their own” children....

Let’s Get Real!

The term “real” is a source of frustration for those involved in adoption, and yet, people untouched by adoption continue to use it to refer to the biological parents. If you ask an adoptee who the “real” parents are, chances are the child will point to the actively parenting, adoptive parents. Mother’s Day and Father’s Day cards have words describing active parenting, nurturing qualities....

Children’s Books On Adoption

Written by Debbie Schwartz, who is a source of inspiration at our adoption forum and is the Program Coordinator for Adoption Connection at Jewish Family Services of Greenwich in Connecticut. Click any of the titles to purchase them through amazon.com. When you think of the books you loved as a child, what images come to your mind? Many of us remember bedtime rituals that included Goodnight, Moon and Pat the Bunny or a...

Adoption: First Moments

To celebrate National Adoption Month, Adoption ARK held a contest where parents were invited to send in their pictures of the first moments with their child. Adoption ARK compiled all of the pictures and created a video entitled “First Moments”. Tags: Adoption, national adoption month Related posts Watch The Adoption Angles Webcast Tonight (0) The Traumatized Adoptee (2) The Reluctant...

Families Change: A Book for Children Experiencing ...

All families change over time. Sometimes a baby is born, or a grown-up gets married. And sometimes a child gets placed in foster care. Children need to know that when this happens, it’s not their fault. When a child gets adopted they need to understand that they can remember and value their birth family and love their new family, too. Straightforward words and full-color illustrations offer hope and support for...

It’s That Time Of The Year Again

Tomorrow, June 5th, is my daughter’s 14th birthday, but we won’t be celebrating. Let me explain…. When we adopted her, she was eight years old (We also adopted her two siblings at the same time). For the first couple of years, the week leading up to her birthday was always a time of turmoil for us. Moodiness, nastiness and sadness would fill her up and hurt anyone in her path, usually us, her family. Some...

Adoption Community Protest Movie “OrphanR...

Update: Debbie, one of our adoption forum members shared a sample letter. I posted it at the bottom. Update #2: A list of email addresses has been added at the bottom of this post. One of our adoption forum members brought this to our attention (thanks Debbie!) and I am passing it along to anyone who may be interested. I’m also adding my personal thoughts, which I shared on our adoption forum, at the end of this...

Adoption Tax Credit

You may be able to take a tax credit for qualifying expenses paid to adopt an eligible child (including a child with special needs). The adoption credit is an amount subtracted from your tax liability. For expenses paid prior to the year the adoption becomes final, the credit generally is allowed for the year following the year of payment. A taxpayer who paid qualifying expenses in the current year for an adoption which...

Forever Families Weekend

The Adoption Connection at Jewish Family Services of Greenwich in conjunction with the NJ Y Camps is thrilled to announce Forever Families Weekend, a family weekend experience for Jewish families touched by adoption. Families will have the opportunity to think consciously about their roles in both the Jewish community and the adoption community while enjoying a weekend at one of the largest Jewish summer camps in North...

Keeping In Touch With Former Foster Parents

I’ve previously blogged about the great relationship we have with our children’s former foster parents. Since we finalized our adoption (2003), we’ve made it a point to see them once or twice a year. My kid’s had other foster parents, besides Pat & Bill, but they lived with this particular couple for the last three (of the four) years. In the beginning I felt it was important for my children to...

The Traumatized Adoptee

The Traumatized Adoptee From their site: Parents who adopt children from agencies like social services often find themselves wondering what they have gotten themselves into and don’t know where to turn for help. It can feel like navigating a field of barbed wire. This site aims to provide a virtual support group for this community–foster parents, adoptive parents, older kids who have been fostered or adopted,...

Thoughts on Transracial Adoption

Two of my children are biracial. Even though my three children are biological siblings (actually half biological siblings), one of the is white, while the other two are brown. I think because they’ve always been a multiracial sibling group and have always accepted each other as family, we’ve never had any of the situations I hear some families talk about. Actually, the only situation that has come up regarding...

Open Adoption – Pros And Cons

We have a diverse group of parents (and those in the pre-parent stage) at our wonderful adoption forum. Some are in open adoptions and others, like myself are in closed adoptions. Still others are in alternative arrangements that work best for them and their children. As parents of this generations adoptees, we all know what works for one family may not work for another family. What are your thoughts on open adoption? What...

My Daughter Explains Adoption

As a young adoptee, my ten year old daughter (adopted at the age of five) has been faced with the task of explaining adoption from time to time, to her friends. This is a topic she and I have spoken about several times and will continue to discuss as she grows up. I feel very strongly that we, as parents of adopted children, should empower them to be able to answer questions about adoption and educate the people they come in...

National Adoption Day 2008

National Adoption Day is a collective national effort to raise awareness of the 129,000 children in foster care waiting to find permanent, loving families. For the last eight years, National Adoption Day has made the dreams of thousands of children come true by working with courts, judges, attorneys, adoption professionals, child welfare agencies and advocates to finalize adoptions and find permanent, loving homes for...

Ladies Lunch

My daughters & I recently went out to lunch with my aunt Mary (my mothers sister, with Shawna on the right) and my cousin Maryann (my mothers first cousin, with Jacqueline on the left) to our favorite Chinese buffet. I had to share this picture because I love how everybody looks so happy. Tags: Older Child Adoption, parents of adopted children Related posts National Adoption Month-2008...

Choosing Your Child’s Name After Adoption

At our adoption forum, I asked members who adopted an infant, how much input their child’s birth mother had in choosing the child’s first name. Here’s what they had to say; 1. She had picked out “a name. We chose a name that starts with T (we made it up). She really like that, too, and the fact that it “goes with” her son’s name. 2. We met with our girls’ birth mom a week...

Adoptive Music

What a great idea! Lullabies – For China’s Daughters And Their Adoptive Families, is “meant to soothe your little one by bringing words of hope, safety, and home while also capturing the deep emotion and feelings parents have for their child”. Take a look at the video below for more information or check out their wesbite: Adoptive Music Tags: parents of adopted children,...