Background checks would have revealed 33-year-old Jessica Dreves has prior arrests for petit larceny, drugs and spent time in a Maryland jail for peddling counterfeit currency. The Nassau district attorney said Dreves illegally promised her unborn baby to two couples, who each paid her thousands for rent, food, and medical care. But when it came time to turn over the infant, investigators discovered she had fled to Florida and disappeared with the baby and the cash.

“This adoption scam is every would-be parent’s worst nightmare,” Nassau DA Kathleen Rice said. “The fact that a mother would scheme to sell her own unborn child when that child is already promised to another couple is incomprehensible.”

Read the rest of the article here

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We’re having a new contest in the adoption forums! It’s been a while since we had one (I think the last one was here at the blog) so I decided it was time.

If you’re already a member, you can head over there to read about it. If you’re not a member, you can join here:
Adoption Forums

Good luck!!

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It’s important for those of us who adopted our children to interact (online or off) with others who understand and can empathize with us. Equally as important is for pre-adoptive parents to have a safe place to ask questions or vent. You are not alone.

The adoption forums at Forever Parents are private and there is a process to joining. The process is not hard or time consuming but it’s in place to help us determine if someone has ill intentions and wants to join for the wrong reasons. The privacy and comfortability of our members is our priority.

Another way that we help maintain a safe and caring environment is to require that all members participate. No, that doesn’t mean you have to post every day, it just means that you have to show an interest in our community and participate on a regular basis. This is especially important for new members that we haven’t gotten to know yet. Inactive members will be periodically removed.

Interested in joining?

1. Go to our adoption forums and click the link that says “register” in the upper left corner. We will have to approve your account before it can be activated.
2. Once your account has been approved, please post a little about your connection to adoption, in this forum. Your first post will have to be approved before it will be visible.
3. When your post has been approved, it will be moved into the rest of the forums (they’re private and can’t be seen) and you will be given full access.

If you have any problems with completing any of these steps, please don’t hesitate to leave a comment in this blog post.

Thanks and see you in the forums!

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Wendy’s Wonderful Kids, a signature program of the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, began in April 2004 with 7 pilot sites and has grown to 120 grantees, operating in all 50 states, the District of Columbia and Canada. The Foundation awards grants to local adoption agencies to hire recruiters and execute aggressive child-focused recruitment programs targeted exclusively on placed foster care children in loving, permanent adoptive families.

“We work very hard to raise funds in partnership with Wendy’s restaurants, distribute them effectively and hold our grantees accountable to achieve our mission of a family for every child,” said the Foundation’s executive director, Rita Soronen. “The investment in our Wendy’s Wonderful Kids program has resulted in the creation of an effective, replicable model to find families for the victims of child abuse and neglect who have been waiting the longest in U.S. foster care. To date, more than 1,000 children have been adopted as a result of the program.”

Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption is a nonprofit public charity dedicated to dramatically increasing the adoptions of the more than 150,000 children waiting in North America’s foster care systems. Created in 1992 by Wendy’s founder, Dave Thomas, who was adopted as a child, the Foundation works to fulfill its mission by implementing result-driven national signature programs, awareness initiatives and advocacy efforts. The Foundation is driven by the vision that every child needs a permanent home and a loving family. To learn more, call 1-800-ASK-DTFA or visit www.DaveThomasFoundationforAdoption.org.

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Create and send a free fathers days e-card, or choose a celebrity created one through their site Frosty Card and Wendy’s will donate 25 cents to
The Dave Thomas Foundation For Adoption.

Father’s day is this Sunday so stop by their site and send a card today!

Reposted at the Forever Parents Adoption Forums.

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Update #2: A list of email addresses has been added at the bottom of this post.

One of our adoption forum members brought this to our attention (thanks Debbie!) and I am passing it along to anyone who may be interested. I’m also adding my personal thoughts, which I shared on our adoption forum, at the end of this post.

There is a horror slasher film being released July 24 (Orphan) about a family who adopts an older girl who “is not what she appears to be. Warnings about her go unheeded until it is too late…for everyone”. The film is being promoted now (http://orphan-movie.warnerbros.com) and the adoption message being sent is extremely negative. There is actually a line in the trailer that says “it must be hard to love an adopted child as much as your own”.
Without having seen the movie or read the script, it is hard to know if the entire movie is sending a ghastly adoption message, but the trailer certainly leads us to believe it is. This feeds the notion that older adoptees are very troubled and you should beware…. that’s not an image any of us want the general public to have of our kids. It plays into people’s deepest fears.

There is a growing group pursuing a boycott of the film, sending out emails and posting on online bulletin boards. I urge you to forward this email to others personally involved in adoption, help disseminate the boycott message and write to the producers and distributors expressing your displeasure with the message being sent.
The backers of this movie have deep pockets. It is being released by Dark Castle Entertainment with Warner Bros. set to distribute. Leonardo DiCaprio’s Appian Way, which developed the material, is also producing.

Here are my personal thoughts;

I just watched the trailer. Looks like the type of movie I would love…..dark and creepy. That line about it being hard to love an adopted child as much as your own is actually said by the adopted girl herself, who is obviously psychotic.

I have two thoughts about this movie……

If people take this movie as a serious portrayal of what older child adoption could be, it might actually be a good thing. There are seriously damaged older kids being adopted into families that have no idea what their in for and once the papers are signed, these families are on their own. I adopted three older kids and luckily, my two younger ones are fine, but my son is one fucked up kid. I hide my butcher knives and scissors in my bedroom because I don’t trust him. I am seeing a lot of sociopathic behaviors in him as he gets older. Maybe after this movie comes out, the concerns of those of us who have adopted troubled kids will be taken more seriously. I actually had a counselor at the facility my son is at, tell me to examine my parenting as a cause of my son’s behavior. After all this time of going through the system’s red tape trying to get help for him and telling anyone who will listen that something is wrong with him (much like the line from the movie; ‘There’s something wrong with Ester’), this man who never met me wants me to carry some of the blame. Needless to say, I hung up on him, (which I’m sure they’ll write up as me being a ‘hostile parent who has anger issues’) but there’s many more who think like him. If there’s one thing that comes out of this movie, I hope it’s that we (those of us who adopt older troubled kids) adopt these kids with all good intentions and then we get very little support and back up from teachers/therapists/cops/judges, etc.

That girl reminded me a lot of my son Very charming and polite in the beginning, able to keep that facade up when needed. Then something happens that she doesn’t like and rage kicks in. That rage in the toilet stall scene is what we live with when he doesn’t get his way.

Is all older child adoption like this?…of course not. I have two kids that prove it doesn’t. My daughters were adopted at the ages of 5 and 8 and are nothing like this movie.

My other thought is….it’s a horror movie made for entertainment and should be treated as such. If I got all bent out of shape every time someone portrayed “me” in a movie, I would be boycotting Goodfellas and The Soprano’s for how they show Italian-Americans.

I want to also add that the people boycotting have every right to do that and I back them 100%. I’m all for people speaking out when there is something they don’t agree with. Unlike channels like CNN and MSNBC who belittled people like myself who attended the recent tax day tea parties, I believe in the right to protest….even if I do not agree with their message.

My last thought is that this movie is nothing compared to the type of movie I would make about older child adoption. I plan on writing a book about my experience and if this movie is causing controversy and it’s not even real, they can’t handle my truth.

Update: Here is a sample letter to send to Warner Bros.

May {XX}, 2009

Barry M. Meyer
Warner Bros. Movies
4000 Warner Blvd.
Burbank, CA 91522

Dear Mr. Meyer and Producers of the movie Orphan:

“It must be hard to love an adopted child as much as your own.”

Writing as a parent of an adopted child, I strongly urge you to remove this line from your film, “Orphan” and, especially, from all of your trailers. This line implies that an adopted child is not the parents’ child and, for anyone in an adoptive family, is very hurtful. Additionally, anyone seeing the film- or the trailer containing this line of dialogue- could promulgate such a hurtful expression and spread it like a virus, creating emotional distress for adoptive families everywhere.

In this day and age, when movie trailers are “sanitized” so that they can be shown before any movie, regardless of the MPAA rating, your trailer is likely to be seen and heard by young children and their families. For adoptive families, and especially for young children who joined their families through adoption, this line has the potential to cause serious trauma.

So, I will also ask you to look inside your heart and then look, again, at your film and see if there are other scenes that can create a negative stigma for adoptive families and please make changes to eliminate or, at the very least, reduce the damage. If you have any question about what might be considered hurtful, please contact Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute as I know they would be happy to help you.

I understand your film has already been completed and asking you to make wholesale changes at this point, just a couple of months before it is released, is probably unrealistic. That is why I am pleading with you to simply show some sensitivity and limit the damage your film will do to anyone who has an adopted child in their family and at least make these changes to the trailer.

I believe you would prefer not having adoptive families around the world virally warning each other of the damaging depictions contained in your movie and encouraging all their friends and family members not to patronize “Orphan.” No filmmaker would like the headline “Movie Called Harmful to Adoptive Families” associated with their film- least of all Mr. DiCaprio who, until now, has maintained a very positive public image.

Please reply and let me know what you have decided to do with your “Orphan.”

Along with adoptive families around the world, I look forward to hearing of your decision. Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,
{Name}

email addresses:
Alan Horn, President and Chief Operating Officer
alan.horn@warnerbros.com
Barry Meyer, Chairman and Chief Executive Officer
barry.meyer@warnerbros.com
Susan Fleishman, Executive Vice President, Worldwide Corporate Communications and Public Affairs
susan.fleishman@warnerbros.com
Jeff Robonov, President, Warner Bros. Pictures Group
jeff.robonov@warnerbros.com
Dan Fellman, President, Domestic Distribution, Warner Bros. Pictures
dan.fellman@warnerbros.com

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The Aussie movie star and his wife, Deborra-Lee, have two kids who they adopted as babies from America – Oscar, eight, and three-year-old Ava.

But, like Madonna, their hopes of giving a home to a Third World child were crushed by rules that made it virtually impossible to adopt from Africa or Asia.

Speaking exclusively Britain’s The Sun, Hugh – who hit cinema screens this week as razor-clawed X-Men character Wolverine – said: “The adoption laws in Australia are too restrictive. Of course, checks need to be made. But they had a very negative approach.

“It was like they were trying to discourage you. There are 130million orphans in the world – who is looking after them? If you are a citizen of the world, on some level they are all our responsibility.

“And if you have got parents who want to adopt and there are children who need a home, it seems like a no-brainer.

“There are not that many children in Australia who need adopting, so we looked internationally and that is what is difficult.”

The couple turned to adoption after actress Deborra-Lee, 53, suffered repeat miscarriages. But they insist they would have done it regardless.

Hugh, 40, said: “We tried and it just didn’t happen for us. There was no particular medical reason.

“We had a few miscarriages, which was very upsetting. But we always planned on adopting anyway, even if we had our own biological children.”

He said he could understand Madonna’s desire to add to her brood – Lourdes, 12, Rocco, eight, and three-year-old David Banda, who she adopted from Malawi in 2006.

And he is sickened by cynics who applauded an African judge’s decision to reject her bid to become mum to baby girl Mercy James earlier this month.

Hugh said: “I challenge anyone who thinks you adopt a kid for a publicity stunt. Anyone parent knows that would have to be the most intensive publicity stunt in the world. I am sure she is coming from a good place.”

However, unlike the pop queen, Hugh has no plans to expand his family.

Laughing, he continued: “We think about another adoption. Then every time we get on a plane with our two kids and are all crammed in together, we think maybe we will leave it at what we have.

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For both the credit or the exclusion, qualifying expenses include reasonable and necessary adoption fees, court costs, attorney fees, traveling expenses (including amounts spent for meals and lodging while away from home), and other expenses directly related to and for which the principal purpose is the legal adoption of an eligible child. An eligible child must be under 18 years old, or be physically or mentally incapable of caring for himself or herself. The adoption credit or exclusion cannot be taken for a child who is not a United States citizen or resident unless the adoption becomes final. A taxpayer also may be eligible to take an increased credit or exclusion for expenses related to the adoption of a child with special needs if the child otherwise meets the definition of qualifying child, is a United States citizen or resident and a state determines that the child cannot or should not be returned to his or her parent’s home and probably will not be adopted unless assistance is provided. The credit and exclusion for qualifying adoption expenses are each subject to a dollar limit and an income limit.

Under the dollar limit the amount of your adoption credit or exclusion is limited to the dollar limit for that year for each effort to adopt an eligible child. If you can take both a credit and an exclusion, this dollar amount applies separately to each. For example, if we assume the dollar limit for the year is $10,000 and you paid $9,000 in qualifying adoption expenses for a final adoption, while your employer paid $4,000 of additional qualifying adoption expenses, you may be able to claim a credit of up to $9,000 and also exclude up to $4,000.

The dollar limit for a particular year must be reduced by the amount of qualifying expenses taken into account in previous years for the same adoption effort.

The income limit on the adoption credit or exclusion is based on your modified adjusted gross income (modified AGI). If your modified AGI is below the beginning phase out amount for the year, the income limit will not affect your credit or exclusion. If your modified AGI is more than the beginning phase out amount for the year, your credit or exclusion will be reduced. If your modified AGI is above the maximum phase out amount for the year, your credit or exclusion will be eliminated.

Generally, if you are married, you must file a joint return to take the adoption credit or exclusion. If your filing status is married filing separately, you can take the credit or exclusion only if you meet special requirements.

To take the credit or exclusion, complete Qualified Adoption Expenses: Form 8839 (PDF) and attach the form to your 1040 or 1040A.

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