A couple of days ago, our local paper printed an editorial debating abortion and adoption. This entry isn’t to debate that; but a comment made within the editorial that really set me back. She made reference that most families want a healthy white baby and few, if anyone—ever wanted (among her list)— ‘special needs babies‘. Really? The writer needed to check her resources before printing comments like that because there are a lot of people who are adopting special needs children, even severe ones.
I help with the Adopt America Network as an adoption specialist and I also volunteer independently to help others find agencies/attorneys and families for special needs babies. I have a network of resources and agency contacts who inform me when a special needs baby is available for adoption. Generally, these babies are newborns. Generally, the families who want to adopt them, have already adopted OTHER special needs babies too. It would seem that once a family feels comfortable with a special needs baby, they want to continue in that direction when adopting more.
A lot of times when people hear the words, ‘special needs adoption’, images of babies lying in hospital beds with wires, monitors and medications come to mind. Not usually so. Many special needs babies have been born with conditions that can be corrected. Special needs can also be applied to babies born addicted to drugs and/or alcohol. Special needs can also be applied to those children who are born with nothing more than a clubfoot, hand, or mild facial deformity. The listing of what constitutes a special needs baby covers a vast spectrum. It’s not fair to assume all special needs babies will forever need ‘in-home care’ or have long-term effects from drugs or conditions. For instance, while a family should be concerned over drug and alcohol use in utero, it should be noted that very often, exposed babies grow into children who are very intelligent and well adjusted overall.
I’d be lying to say that *all*special needs babies grow out of their conditions or grow up without being permanently scared. Sometimes the affects of drug/alcohol use cause the life-long condition of Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders (often referred to Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or Fetal Alcohol Effect). However, these conditions vary in severity as well and one cannot know the outcome until the child has matured for several months/years. And sometimes, a family who believes a child is affected by one thing, find out the condition is nothing as they suspected or a physician diagnosed. This ‘finding out’ can sometimes mean a totally different outcome for the child—positive or negative. But, it’s only fair to add that these ‘surprises’ can come about with a ‘normal-baby-adoption’ too.
Some babies may or may not have a very rough start. (And you’ll see this in a ’healthy’ baby population too.) Some may, indeed, have that rough start and always walk a rocky road; or find a simpler road to a healthier recovery in adult life. But regardless, some agencies/attorneys have listings of families who are open to special needs babies or, as I‘ve mentioned, have a resource list of people to contact when searching for a family.
So, to my local letter writer, and to any who think ‘no one wants those special needs babies’……they simply don’t have a clue. Several families eagerly wait with open arms until their special needs baby finds them.
Resources: Special needs adoption photolisting
CHASK – http://www.chask.org/waitingchildren.htm
ADOPT AMERICA NETWORK – http://adoptamericanetwork.org/waiting-children/
Written by Linny
Tags: adoption specialist, Special Needs Adoption
Linny, I loved this article. I am the mother of a special needs child. I gave birth to him 6 wks early. This child is my life. He has changed me in so many positive ways. He has brought joy into our house. Yes, it can be challenging at times, but he is the sweetest, smartest little 6 yr old I know. Special needs children need special parents!
That is a very wrong thing to do. Also, it’s true that person should have gotten her information right before putting it out there. I personally would adopt an special needs child if, it meant helping a person who had no one to love them.
I think that reporter was so wrong,just because she doesn’t surround herself with people who want to do that doesn’t mean that there aren’t any people who will do that. There are plenty of people who will adopt special needs kids!!!
Right On Linny! Very well said!
It’s a shame in how all media outlets these days don’t do the proper research into an article they are written. Thanks for correcting her and letting us know there are people out there who care.
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I adopted my special needs baby almost 23 years ago. Today is her birthday, Happy Birthday Toya, I love you so much!
Thank you all for your support! I am the momma to many babies….including one very special, special needs one.
Sincerely,
Linny
Adoption World is so full of assumptions and erroneous beliefs. Thanks for setting some of them straight.
In addition, special needs aren’t always known pre-birth or at birth. Some arise later on — just like with biological children.
The Forrest Gump and the chocolate box comes to mind
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Special needs children can be a huge blessing to their families. I am the adoptive mom of 8 special needs children and am so grateful every day for their uniqueness. I also run a ministry where I help special needs babies who need adopitve homes find their forever families. It is my way of giving back for all the blessings I have been given.