Adoption Stories

The following was submitted by Beth, one of our blog readers. Leave a comment here if you’d like to share your adoption story also.

We have three children. Our oldest daughter and son were adopted at birth. Our youngest son was adopted right before his tenth birthday. This is a story of both joy and sorrow, excitement and patience, and most importantly, unconditional love.

My husband and I were married in 1965. Like most young couples at that time, we wanted children. We started trying right away. After two years, and no baby, we sought out medical advice. Unlike the medical treatments and techniques available today, in vitro fertilization, hormone therapies, etc., were not available at that time – at least not to us. We both worked, but didn’t have a lot of expendable cash, and we turned to the only thing we knew – adoption.

Even back then, the adoption process was not a quick one. We applied for adoption through the State of Wisconsin, and were subjected to background checks, home visits, and social worker interviews before we would even be considered. But fortunately, we were put on “the list” and began the waiting game. In the fall of 1969, we were told that a baby boy was available for adoption. We were ecstatic! We could hardly wait to see our son and bring him home. But finally, after more waiting, and interviews and home visits galore, we were able to pick up our baby boy. And he was beautiful – perfect, just like we imagined he would be. It’s hard to put into words how much you can love someone so little, how much that little person can make a couple into a family. But he did. There’s nothing that can explain the love and pride you have in your own child – it didn’t matter that we didn’t conceive him, it mattered that he was put in our hands to love and guide for the rest of our lives. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world.

In the summer of 1971, we were able to experience this joy for the second time. This time, we adopted a baby girl – and now we felt our family was complete. You think you can’t love anyone more than your first child, and then the second comes along and you realize your heart just gets bigger and you can love another child just as much as the first. It took about a year for each of our children to become “officially” ours, meaning, when the court turned over full custody to us.

After some time, we decided to adopt again. However, it had become more difficult at this point. My husband was over 35. Apparently this was some magic number suggesting that he was too old to care for an infant. So once again, we began the adoption process, this time hoping to adopt a toddler or young child. Once again, we were subjected to home visits, only now, the social workers also interviewed our children. I guess they were trying to asses if this would be a good home for a child. It took longer this time. Another thing that was different, is that we had some choice – we were able to read case files on children to see if they would be a good fit for our family. We could “accept” or “reject” them. We finally found a boy that seemed like he would be a good fit for our family – he was nine years old at the time, older than we had hoped.

Unlike with an infant, he had to do home visits with us and he also got to decide if we were a good family for him. I think this took a couple of months. It was different than adopting a baby – when our older son and daughter were placed in our arms, they were ours, totally and completely. This boy knew his other mother and grandparents. At the same time, once we got to know him, we started to fall in love with him, just as we had done with our older children. The process was different, but the end result was the same – after about a year, he became our son legally, and we couldn’t have loved him any more.

Thank you for letting me share.
Beth

Tags: Adopted, adopting a child, adopting children, Adoption, adoption homestudy, adoption musings, adoption options, adoption story, adoptive families, adoptive parents, biological mother, child adoptions, Children, Family, parents of adopted children

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