Adoption Support at Forever Parents

Fathers Role in Parenting

1) Father To Son:

• Help him take responsibility for his own behavior. Don’t encourage a “boys will be boys” attitude that excuses selfishness, impulsiveness, and domination.
• Allow him the full range of emotions. Help him learn that real men can be afraid, can hurt, and can cry. Boys need to find safe places to cry where they will not be ridiculed.
•It is important for fathers to model appropriate expressions of anger that do not threaten, control, or hurt anyone else. Anger is a necessary emotion that needs to be expressed with care and consideration of others.
• Encourage him to respect girls and women as equals, rather than objects to be controlled, dominated, or manipulated. Discourage condescending jokes and put-downs. If your son makes a negative comment about women, step in and correct him.
• Help him learn how to be an active ally to females. Role play situations that are most likely to come up and model being a good ally.
• Encourage him to learn negotiating skills. Teach him that compromise is a necessary part of human relationships and is not a sign of weakness or a lack of “backbone.”
• Teach and model that it’s all right for a man to ask for help, support, and healthy affection. Let him know how much you value your friendships and partnerships.
• Teach and model that masculinity is about having moral principles and being a man of character.
• Talk with him about the violence he sees in the world. Help him to understand why people are violent. Discuss ways to respond to the violence we see on TV shows, movies, video games…
• Help him to find friends who are supportive. Let him know that boys who are sarcastic, shaming, and harassing are behaving out of their own weakness.
• Discuss healthy sexuality with him and the importance of being responsible.

2) Father To Daughter:

• Tell her that she is capable and can achieve her goals.
• Listen to her. Encourage her to tell you about her interests, goals, and dreams. •The father who has worked on being a sensitive listener will be the natural person for his daughter to go to when she has questions about boys/men.
• She needs to hear your opinions and feelings about relationships.
• Model positive masculinity; make your family a high priority, keep your promises, and show concern for others.
• Model healthy and respectful behavior toward women.
• Take her shopping and do your best to identify her unique tastes.
• Tell her that she is beautiful inwardly. Point out some specific examples.
• Let your daughter know that you accept and love her for who she is.
• Ask her what she enjoys doing with you and then set up time to do that activity.
• Show your daughter approval and affection. If you don’t she may think that you don’t care or that something is wrong with her.

Related Posts:

1. Parenting With Love, Not Fear
2. Parenting Biological And Adopted Children
3. Our Parenting Choices
4. Modeling Respect For Children
5. The Case Against Competition