“If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.”
— Anonymous
Warning signs of potential birthparent scams:
One sign alone does not mean you are being scammed. It is the combination of several and your instincts that should make you leary.
A favorite ploy is for a scam artist is to fix you up with a “friend”. That person might pose as an adoptive parent or adoption professional. If this “friend” contacts you through e-mail, it may be the same person posing as two different people. If the meeting is in person, check out all references and trust your instincts.
They may be very willing to match quickly and will say you are perfect, without knowing much about you.
They always have complications with the pregnancy…..they usually claim when you cannot find them, that they were at the emergency room.
They don’t like or want to deal with an attorney or other adoption professional. They’ll say they had a bad experience with an attorney or agency and does not want to work with them again. When pressed, they might accuse you of not trusting her and can even get angry.
They will evade certain details regarding medical attention, signing parental rights, contacting social services or adoption professionals.
They change their story about the pregnancy or situation. If they are talking to several adoptive parents, their story may change because they cannot remember what they said to each one.
They will not give you the name of the doctor or clinic where they’re receiving medical attention.
They will offer to bring the baby to you. This ploy is used to get a plane ticket which can be cashed in later.
Proof or pregnancy or other documents are agreed upon, but never seem to arrive. They seem to always have a reason for not sending you identifying information or cannot believe that you have not received the information. A sudden miscarriage or hospitalization can happen when you request for too much information.
If they do not have a phone number and always wants to call you because of an on going situation, beware! She should have a contact number and complete physical address that you can verify.
They have at least one or more crisis going on in their life and tell you that you are part of the solution. This can include sad stories such as rape and incest. Be sensitive, but do not be drawn into the whole situation.
Usually the motivation for birthmother scams is to take your money. Only give money to a birthmother-to-be through an attorney or qualified adoption professional. The amount limits and circumstances vary by state law.
We had a couple birthmothers try to scam us. They didn’t want money, just emotional scammers. You can sign up with a website or join adoption scam groups to see the scams that are currently occuring. You really want to watch out for things that just don’t fit while discussing everything. You can also check myspace or facebook to see if the email address they provide is attached to a site link or person. This is how we found that they were posing as an emotional scammer.
i hate to admit it but my own sister scamed us. she knew we were looking to adopt and called one day saying she was pregnant. and wanted to know if we wanted it or she was going to abort it. foolishy we said we wanted it .7 months later and thousands of dollars we realized even family can be this crule. now we have no baby no money thanks sis.
Makesure that you get pics of mom and get some kind of contact info. If you feel like the women is not the one in teh pics when you meet her, trust your instincts. I got scammed by her online adn on the phone but someone saw her profile and warned me. This time she got smarter and got me to actualyg visit.