Adoption Support at Forever Parents

Our Adoption Story: Part Four

Our placement started July 2, 2003. This was a very big step for all of us. It was during two previous placement that they were returned back to foster care by the two familes that originally had wanted to adopt them. I knew that ‘C’ & ‘S’ were hesitant and scared when our placement started and they had a very right to be. Here we were, the third couple telling them that we were going to be their “forever” parents and that they could trust us. To them, those words means next to nothing.We met Jennifer (their case worker, on the right) and Sheila (their guardian ad litem, on the left) at the DCF office.

We had to sign a ton of papers like paperwork giving us permission to get them medical treatment and enroll them in school.When we were done, we sealed it with a kiss. Jennifer said no other couples had ever asked her to take a picture of them kissing after signing. LOL!!

At this point, we had been visiting with the kids since February 2003 and had done several overnight visits. It was getting difficult to move to the next level with them going back and forth between us and their foster parents. We tried to keep their lifestyle as close as possible to the one they had with their foster parents so they wouldn’t get to confused.When they moved in we spent a lot of time working on the house to accomodate three extra people and their belongings. School was out so we had lots of free time to just hang out and get to know each other better.

‘C’ was on his best behavior all through placement, as he had been throughout our visting period. This is very common and is nicknamed “honeymooning”. Some children that have had rejection in their lives do their best not to ‘rock the boat’ in fear of being sent away. We knew we’d see some of his true feelings emerge soon and we were ready.

‘S’ on the other hand was her usual bossy, dominating self. Where as ‘C’ tried to please us, she had the attitude of “I’m going to hurt you before you hurt me”. Both of the ways they handled themselves were expected and consistant with what we expected. Throughout our three month placement, they would both react to every situation exactly the opposite of each other.

‘C’ & ‘S’ continued with their speech/language therapy, occupational/physical therapy, med. check ups and mental health therapy throughout all this. We also went to register ‘J’ for kindergarten. (If I knew then what I knew now, I would have homeschooled her from the start)Some highlights during this three month period was the kids starting to calling us mom and dad, ‘S’ telling me she hated me and ‘C’ insisting he had an uncle that was coming to get him. Never a dull moment! During this time also, we started calling the youngest one by her real name. She had been called a shortened version of her name but we preferred her full name. Also their foster parents told the kids that they should start calling them by their first names, Pat & Bill, instead of mom and dad. It was a time of change for everybody.

These pictures were all taken during our placement, from July-October of 2003.

Swimming in our pool:

We invited their foster family over a lot during that time (and we currently still keep in touch with them). This was one of the visits with their foster mom Pat, foster brother (who got adopted the following year by a couple not far from us and we’ve become close friends with) and their foster sister. ‘J’’s 5th birthday:

Related Posts:

1. Our Adoption Story: Part Three
2. Our Adoption Story: Part Five
3. Our Adoption Story: Part Two
4. Our Adoption Story
5. A Special Memory