Adoption Support at Forever Parents

Our Adoption Story: Part Five

Here is a post from the Forever Parents adoption forums dated 9/30/03, the date our placement officially ended.

Today, Sept. 30, marks the end of our 90 day “trial” with our kids. As the Grateful Dead say…”what a long, strange trip it’s been”. Over the next 1-2 weeks, the state will sign a consent form that gives us the okay to proceed with the adoption and then we have to sign (with a notary) the adoption decree forms. Then our lawyer takes all that to court and gets us a date. Keep your fingers crossed for a date before Christmas.

Our caseworker, Jennifer told us that we could have extended the placement if we wanted. If we needed more time to work things out or if we just wanted to take it slower. She was so supportive of us during the whole journey and did everything she could to help us and solve any issues we had.Our lawyer called us and the date was set for Oct. 28, which happens to be ‘C’s birthday. I told them I wasn’t comfortable finalizing on his birthday and that I wanted another date. I felt that that date should stand all on it’s own, not have to share with someone’s birthday and visa versa. ‘C’ and ‘S’ seem to have emotional issues surrounding their birthdays to begin with. Plus, with the finalization coming up, they were anxious and stressed and I just felt it was better (and would be better in years to come) if we did it on seperate dates.As soon as I said something though, I wanted to kick myself because what if they could only give me a date months away? They called me back and our new date was set for October 30 at 8:45 AM.

As the days got closer, ‘S’ and ‘C’ became more and more emotional. ‘S’ was very moody and sad, crying over little things. ‘C’ started acting very defiant and not doing simple things that we asked him to. It was a very touchy time for all of us and I tried to not overwhelm them by talking about the finalization to much. We discussed exactly what would happen and what they could expect from that day in court. I stepped in when well meaning people would tell them “You must be so happy to be getting adopted! How lucky you are!!”. I tried to explain that yes, a part of them was happy but a big part of them was scared and anxious and nervous.It was an emotional roller coaster of a time.Finalization Day:

We met Jennifer (their caseworker) & Sheila (their guardian ad litem) at the court house. Sheila had bought some helium congratulations balloons for the kids and it helped to give their minds something else to think about. While we were waiting, we met a mother who was there to finalize the adoption of a little boy, also from foster care. When she looked at the kids, she said she knew ‘J’. She told me that she had met her at one of the foster care picnics and she had a picture of Jacqueline dancing with her son. She was so happy to see that they were getting adopted together and wished us well.

Jennifer and the kids waiting in the hallway for our turn to see the judge.

When it was our turn, we were told to sit at the table on the left, with our lawyer.

The kids and Sheila were told to sit at the table on the right. Jennifer sat behind them, in the first row of seats.

The first few minutes were spent going over names, dates, addresses, proof of termination of parental rights, etc. She asked us why we wanted to adopt and then why we wanted to adopt these children. She also spoke to the kids, although they were very quiet and not talkative at all. ‘S’ also wanted to legally change the spelling of her name from having it start with a ‘C’ to having it start with an ‘S’ and the judge took care of that besides changing their middle and last names. A post from that day that I shared on the Forever Parents adoption forums:

Our court time was 8:45 and the kids case worker Jennifer, their guardian ad litem, Sheila and our lawyer all met us there and we were called in at about 8:50. I was the spokesperson for Billy & I and I had to answer some basic questions on how long we lived in Florida, how long we were married, how long the kids have lived with us and why we wanted to adopt them. The judge then asked the kids if they wanted us to adopt them. The lawyer also informed the judge that she had already been presented with papers showing termination of parental rights on their birth mother & all three birth fathers and the papers showing the approval and consent of the state of Florida for us to adopt them.

The judge read everthing and then gave her orders. This is what she said, word for word:“It is ordered and adjudged as follows: The minor children ‘C’, ‘S’ and ‘J’ are hereby declared to be the legal children of the Petitioners, Joanne Margaret Greco-Akerman & Wiliam Edward Akerman. The names of the minor children shall be changed to ‘C’ Joseph Akerman, ‘S’ Josephine Akerman & ‘J’ Anne Akerman. The minor children shall be the children and legal heirs at law of the Petitioners and shall be entitled to all rights & privledges, and subject to all obligations of children born to the Petitioners. All legal relations between the children and the natural parents, and between the children and relatives of the natural parents are hereby terminated by the adoption, as well as all parents rights & responsibiltes of the natural parents. This Final Judgement of Adoption creates a relationship bewteen the children and the Petitioners that would have existed if the children were blood descendents of the Petitioners. Judge Gurrola handing down her descion:

We took a picture with her afterward and she asked us to send her a copy.

When we were all done, we gave Jeniffer and Sheila flowers and took them out for lunch. Right after that we went to Jennifers office and she gave me every picture she had on the kids!! OMG!!! Some of them were from when they first came into foster care and spanned over a four year period. She also gave me a picture of their birthmother, actually it’s her mug shot from when she was arrested for felony child abuse & neglect. After that, they had to go back to work and the five of us went back to the place we had first met, that little park off the Gulf of Mexico. It was so weird going back there as a family. We hung out for a while, talked and watched the men fishing. It was a beautiful, sunny day.While we were there, we took a picture in the exact same positions and in the exact same spot as the picture we took on the first day we met. It’s great to see how we’ve changed! ‘S’ took this picture of my husband & I:

After that we went to have their social security numbers changed. I highly suggest doing that if you adopted a child from the state that was removed due to abuse. It’s just an extra measure of protection.We went to visit our case worker Pat Matthews and gave her flowers. She was such a big help to us and she was our biggest cheerleader throughout this.

Later on, we took my mother, Aunt Mary and cousin Maryanne out to celebrate. We went to our favorite low-key Chinese buffet and had a really nice, relaxing time. It was the end to a very emotional day.

Related Posts:

1. Our Adoption Story: Part Four
2. Our Adoption Story: Part Three
3. A Special Memory
4. Our Adoption Story: Part Two
5. Our Adoption Story: Part One