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Finding Out You’re An AdopteeMy 12 year old daughter just found out that she’s an ‘adoptee”. No, we didn’t just tell her she was adopted. She already knew that being she was eight years old when we adopted her and her siblings. What I mean is she just found out that there’s a “word” for someone who has been adopted. She thinks it’s pretty cool. Up until that point, I hadn’t even realized that she didn’t know the word adoptee. I guess I just figured she would somehow just know it. It never occurred to me to tell her. It was a very interesting, connecting kind of conversation, which we have a lot of (and I love that about our relationship). She said the word out loud a few times, as if to be trying it on for size. Then she just smiled and asked if she could show me her dive she’s been working on. Just another day in the life… Related Tags: parenting an adoptee, adoptee, young adoptees Related Posts: 10 CommentsLeave a comment |
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We happen to be having a conversation the other day while she was in the pool and I was hanging out with her. We were talking about how we (her dad & I) think of ourselves as “parents”, not adoptive parents and she asked if there was a word for people that were adopted.
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Awww, Thats Super Sweet! I think that my family will be adopting a child sometime in my life and Im VERY excited! Your blog is amazing!!!
Thanks for the peek into this affirming conversation. Glad she was pleased to have a term for herself.
Hi Jess, thanks for stopping by. Any questions you have about adoption are welcomed here.
BL…
I think the conversation changed me more than her. Instead of thinking of myself as an adoptive mother, I thought of myself as a parent of an adoptee. The focus was on her, not me.
It was an interesting shift.
She must be very secure to be able to talk so freely with you. You must be a great parent.
Thank you Lisa! If anything, I always try to remember to be e mindful parent.
That’s interesting. My son has never heard the term “adoptee,” either — not that he would get it at his age. I hope our first talk about that word goes as smoothly as your did. :0)
- Faith
With you for a mom, I have no doubt. Actually, I think it was more “enlightning” for me then it was for her.
Our kids have always known they were adopted. Recently, someone said something about her “real” mother. My daughter said, pointing at me, “Uh, that would be her.” I felt warm all over, let me tell you. Our visitor apologized, as well she should have.
Shine On,
Lill
Joanne,
Thanks for sharing.
While only 2-1/2 years old, our daughter knows she is adopted since she still remembers her foster parents. I hope she will also think being an “adoptee” is cool.
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That’s great that she feels comfortable enough to ask you anything. You’re definitely raising her right!
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