Transracial Adoption

Thirteen Things to consider before adopting transracially.

 

Adopting a child of a different race is not something everybody is comfortable doing. Two of my three children are biracial (african american/caucasian) and and my husband & I are caucasian. My third child is caucasian although she is biologically related to her siblings. Because they came home to us as a multiracial sibling group, they don’t have a lot of the racial issues other people may sometimes have with a racially mixed family. Here’s 13 things to consider before you adopt transracially.

1. Your family dynamics will forever change and you will now be a racially mixed family, not a “caucasian family with a asian (or black) child”.
2. If you have any racists in your family, now would be a good time to have a talk with them.
3. If you live in an all white community, how will your child be treated?
4. How will you feel about your child, this person who is now part of your family, if others treat him/her different because of their skin color?
5. What do you know about their biological culture? Is it enough to answer questions they may have?
6. Can you discuss racism with them and hear what they have to say?
7. In your heart, are you comfortable doing this? Because if there is a chance you going to regret it, don’t do it.
8. Are you prepared to be asked intrusive questions about your adoption?
9. Remember, your child is not the only one who is different within your family….so are you.
10. Do you know that there are organizations that are against transracial adoptions?
11. Spend time examining your own beliefs about race and ethnicity.
12. Do you already have other children? How will they feel about being part of a racially mixed family?
13. Are you prepared to discuss and dispel racial stereotypes with your child, your family and your community?

If you’re part of this weeks Thursday Thirteen, please leave the link in a comment so we can visit! :-)

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photo credit: kevinrohr

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11 Comments

  1. Shannon, May 17, 2007:

    This is definatly something to think about! I don’t think many couples think through the race issue in itself, how that child will be treated amongst extended family. Parents need to be aware of these issues and are they ready to break off from those relatives that cannot accept the child??
    This is an option my husband and I are planning on looking into in the next few years and I think it’s great that you posted this “checklist” for all to see! :) Have a wonderful week!

  2. Joan, May 17, 2007:

    This is a very interesting and informative post. You give couples considering adopting transracially some good things to consider. Thanks for coming by my blog and taking the time to comment.

  3. Mama Kelly - 2 Witches Blog, May 17, 2007:

    Important things to consider!! We have 2 children in our extended family who are here thanks to transracial adoption.

    Mama Kelly

  4. Susan Helene Gottfried, May 17, 2007:

    Wow. I know lots of people who’ve adopted kids from other countries whose physical appearance is very different from their parents. It never dawned on me that there would be these ramifications.

    Thanks for opening my eyes — and for stopping by West of Mars!

  5. Mitchypoo, May 17, 2007:

    This is really something to think about but I still say bless you for doing it, despite any challenges. Happy TT and thanks for visiting my TT!

    http://mitchypoo777.blogspot.com

  6. pussreboots, May 17, 2007:

    Great list.

  7. Joy T., May 17, 2007:

    Very informative TT list! All things I’m sure a lot of people miss.

  8. Donna, May 17, 2007:

    Very wise points, I’d say.

  9. Sharon, October 7, 2008:

    We adopted a former foster daughters baby. We are caucasian, He is both white and African American. His biological Mom is white. We are unsure who the biological father is. I have grown children so this was an adjustment to have an infant back in the house. He’s such a blessing, This time around I appreciate fully what an absolute miracle babies are. It’s like taking an intense human development course in your own home. So much fun and so intense. You will experience curious stares, sometimes dissaproving, mostly kind. These babies help us weed out the predjudice, ignorant and the loving accepting people around us. After a short itme you develope healthy blinders and for the most part cease to notice. He is simply your baby. You couldn’t possibly love him any less than your biological children. And is some ways even more. Because he is truly a miraculous gift and blessing. So entertaining and loving. Your awareness changes forever. you will never be a white family again. You are now a mixed family with the responsibility to this child to provide a healthy supportive environment that with nurture his self esteem, embracing all of his background. He will force you to grow as a human being in ways that are priceless.

  10. Jenny, March 24, 2009:

    As an adult transracial adoptee, thank you for your voice of reason and reflection! Since returning from my long stay in Japan, I am dedicated to sharing my story with others so they will consider carefully the implications of adopting transracially. I love my family and am very blessed with the life I live…but i had my struggles, too. I would hate for anyone to adopt without considering ALL aspects first:-)

  11. Renee, January 8, 2010:

    My husband and I (both caucasion) adopted our daughter (AA/C) as a toddler. Living in a diverse community, there didn’t seem to be big challenges. However, now she is in her early teens. She is really struggling with her identity. I’ve heard her and friends saying things like “He’s trying to act black.” or “Why is she acting so white?” I’m really struggling with this because I have never defined people by their outward appearances. Any sugggestions or words of wisdom?

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