Modeling Respect For Children

by Pam Leo “Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.” - James Baldwin Children are mirrors; they reflect back to us everything we say and do. We now know that 95% of everything children learn, they learn from what is modeled for them. Only 5% of all they learn is from direct instruction. Human beings are like tape recorders. Every word we hear,...

15 MORE Fun Things To Do With Your Child

Here’s fifteen more fun (low cost or free) things to do with your children, from the members of the Forever Parents adoption forums. This list is part of the Friday Fifteen. 1. Play dress up 2. Play “Red Light Green Light” 3. Cook dinner together 4. Go to the park 5. Have a craft hour 6. Go to a park and feed the birds 7. Have a play date with friends 8. Fly a kite 9. Play charades 10. Play hopscotch 11....

Adoption Lifebooks

Thirteen Things to include in an adoption lifebook 1. Information on where your child was born. I requested information on the visitors website where my children were born.2. Print out a “On the day you were born” from this site. 3. Photographs of those who were involved such as case workers, agency staff, foster parents, etc. 4. Photographs of birthfamily, if you have it. 5. A page of your thoughts when you...

Meg Ryan On Adoption

In an interview, Meg Ryan, who adopted from China last year says “”I am convinced, completely and utterly convinced, that there was nothing random about the adoption. She is the daughter I should have”. Related Tags: adoption, adopt, adopting, international adoption, adopting from china, meg ryan Share Tags: celebrity...

Blending Biological And Adopted Children

People come to adoption for many reasons and infertility is only one of them, although society seems to think it’s the only reason. It’s like people can’t believe that someone would pick adoption as their first choice. Many parents blend adoptive and biological children in the family. I myself come from a blended family. My parents adopted my brother when I was eight. Lisa Van Houten and her husband Craig...

Thoughts From An Adult Adoptee

I came across an interesting list that I’d like to share (with the authors permission) of recommendations for parents from the perspective of an adult adoptee. Not all of these points may apply to every situation. Such as #3. We didn’t come to adoption after infertility and I never had a longing for biological children. In fact, I didn’t even want an infant. There are also many parents on the Forever Parents...

Embryo Adoption

This recent article is about a couple who adopted their two-year-old daughter as a frozen embryo left stored in a fertility clinic freezer and are now using their story to fight against legislation that would permit research using human embryos. A couple who adopted their two-year-old daughter as a frozen embryo left stored in a fertility clinic freezer, are now using their story to fight against legislation that would...

Meeting With A Birthmother

Interesting article from The New York Times, about the author’s meeting with a birthmother. Nona Martin Stuck, already a mother to three, shares her thoughts during her fourth adoption. It’s quite a touching story, which starts with the meeting and goes all the way through the birth of her son, which she was present for. By our own clear-eyed assessment, my husband and I sprang from relatively shallow ends of our...

Five Reasons To Stop Saying “Good Job!”...

By Alfie Kohn Hang out at a playground, visit a school, or show up at a child’s birthday party, and there’s one phrase you can count on hearing repeatedly: “Good job!” Even tiny infants are praised for smacking their hands together (“Good clapping!”). Many of us blurt out these judgments of our children to the point that it has become almost a verbal tic. Plenty of books and articles advise us...

Our Adoption Story: Part Three

We continued to visit with them on the weekends and talking on the phone during the week. Billy was able to get every weekend off for several weeks in a row so we could have time with them. I felt very strongly that we not buy them a lot of gifts or take them to many places in the beginning. There is a tendency to give foster children lots of stuff, I guess to make up for the shitty life they have. But I think all that does...

Parenting With Love, Not Fear

Teaching Through Love Instead of Fear by Pam Leo “However we treat the child, the child will treat the world.” - Pam Leo Can you imagine threatening your partner or good friend by counting “One… two… three…” if he or she did not do what you wanted? One of the big issues in schools today is “bullying.” Parents and teachers struggle daily with how to stop this behavior....

More Adoption Blogs

Here’s a few more blogs I’ve stumbled upon in the last couple of weeks. I hope you enjoy them as I have been. Peter’s Cross Station is about Shannon, Cole and their daughter Nat, now two years old. Their journey, which led them to a transracial open adoption, actually started on this blog. They’ve been matched for a possible second adoption and the latest update can be read in this post. If...

15 Fun Things To Do With Your Children

Members of the Forever Parents adoption forums put their thinking caps on and came up with a bunch of fun, free or low cost activities you can do with your children. This list is being submitted as part of Friday Fifteen. 1. Go to the library. You can participate in a free activity and borrow a video to watch when you get home 2. Take a walk around your neighborhood 3. Check out the local Community Center 4. Go on a picnic 5....

13 Ways To Help Finance An Adoption

When someone starts to consider adoption, one of the first questions they ask is “how much does it cost to adopt a child?” And it’s a question that should be asked because depending on the type of adoption you pursue, it could cost thousands of dollars. Here are 13 tips to help you finance your adoption. 1. Look for ways you can cut back, they may add up to considerable savings. Put that money into a...

Adoption Article Featuring Our Family

Article published Jul 10, 2005 in the Star Banner Three adopted children enjoy new life, parentsJoanne and her husband Billy wanted children, but Joanne was in her 30s when they married and did not want to go through a slew of immediate pregnancies. So, they began looking into adopting. When a counselor suggested that they consider adopting a group of siblings, they decided that is what they wanted to do. The private adoption...

Self Care For Parents

We asked members at our adoption forums what little things they do on an everyday basis to take care of themself? What preventive measures do they take? ** When I’m really stressed out…I WALK. I love to walk…could do it all day, really I could. It’s gotta be a brisk one too…not the casual stuff. I walk….if I’m alone, I talk–OUT LOUD—to God. And truthfully, I’m sure...

Gay Couple Suing Adoption.com

Michael and Richard Butler are suing Adoption.com and its owners, Nathan and Dale Gwilliam, after their application to join the site was rejected back in 2003. Last week a federal judge allowed their discrimination lawsuit to go to trial. The Butlers have since adopted a daughter. Judge Hamilton’s decision was an important victory for gay rights because Adoption.com’s policies affect same-sex couples across the...

Creating A Nurturing Environment For Your Child

Creating More Nurturing Environments for Children by Pam Leo “What people become under one set of circumstances does not tell us very much about what they might have become under another.” – John Holt Given a choice, young children will usually choose to be in a natural environment. They want to be outdoors, in the fresh air and sunlight, barefoot and naked, surrounded by grass, trees, and flowers, hearing...

Adoption Blogs

When I have extra time online, one of the thing I like doing is reading adoption blogs. Here’s a few that I’ve been enjoying recently. Tracy of The Trials & Tribulations of Trace in Adoption La-La Land blogs as she waits to adopt an infant domestically after deciding against fertility treatments. What I really like about her blog is that she writes honestly and openly about her frustration, hopes and...

Texas Needs Families For Older Children

Joyce James with Child Protective Services says more than half of the state’s 4000 abused and neglected children are over 9 years old. “While older children linger longer in foster care, we believe they deserve and need stable and loving families just as much as younger children.” James says her department has begun a program called ‘Why Not Me’ to get the message to potential adoptive families...

Couple Adopts Sibling Group of Eight

My husband & I adopted a sibling group of three although we would have been open to a larger one, if we had more room. I think it’s great that this couple was able to adopt all eight of these kids. For the past seven years, Kathy and Dave Bain have opened their home and hearts to dozens of foster children who have been victims of physical abuse in their biological homes, were born with fetal alcohol syndrome or...