Adoption Support at Forever Parents

International Adoption

by Cynthia Teeters.

You may think that the first thing to do to start an international adoption is to get a list of agencies and begin contacting them for information. Actually, you start by realizing that thousands of parents have passed successfully through this process before you and that by tapping into their vast storehouse of knowledge you, too, can be just as successful. To the question, “How do I start?”, the answer is, “Read, then read, and then read some more.” Then find and join some adoptive parent support groups
.My favorite beginner’s adoption book, being one the best overall discussions of the options available to adopting parents, is The Adoption Resource Book by Lois Gilman. Another good book is The Essential Adoption Handbook by Colleen Alexander-Roberts. If you can, get both.

Also be prepared to read some adoption parenting books so that you become aware of adoption issues. Look for Raising Adopted Children by Lois Melina, Helping Children Cope with Separation and Loss by Claudia Jewett, Real Parents, Real Children by Holly Van Gulden and Lisa Bartels-Rabb and Being Adopted, The Lifelong Search For Self by David Brodzinsky, et al. They will all greatly broaden your perspectives about adoption. If you have struggled with infertility, read Adopting After Infertility by Patricia Johnston and if you are considering an older child, Adopting the Hurt Child by Gregory Keck and Regina Kupecky is a necessity.

The International Concerns For Children (ICC, 911 Cypress Dr., Boulder, CO 80303-2821, 303-494-8333) annually publishes the Report on Intercountry Adoption for $25 US including monthly updates. It provides invaluable information about adopting internationally and will act as your primary source for agency information. The report begins with a number of articles written by some of the best-known experts in the field of adoption. The articles offer information about such issues as other resources, parent preparation, travel tips, medical concerns for international adoptees, and cultural and racial issues.

Agency listings comprise the second half of the report having each country placing children for intercountry adoption listed along with the agencies that have programs in that country. The agency descriptions can include a number of items such as estimated waiting time, age ranges and description of children available and program requirements for prospective parents.

Very likely the Report on Intercountry Adoption will become your adoption bible. Do not forget to refer back to the informative articles as you go through the process as you will gain new insight each time you do.

Once you have collected a small library and have taken some time looking over your materials, the next step is to find and join adoptive parent support groups. If you have already started your reading and have become somewhat versed in the adoption process you will be able to make the best use of the information and educational resources these groups can provide. At this point, you should already belong to AFA and may use them in helping to find local support groups you might wish to join. Attending the meetings of your local support group will offer you an opportunity to socialize with other adoptive families as well as gain from the collective wisdom of the group.

If you have chosen a country or region from which you wish to adopt, you may also wish to seek out and join support groups that are specific to these countries. For example, there are excellent support groups for families adopting from Latin America, China, Romania, and Russia. Do not, though, automatically take a preference for a country-specific support group over those that have a broader range of membership. Both groups may offer benefits to you while you are a prospective adoptive parent seeking emotional assurance and information on the process. Later, after you have become an adoptive parent and are seeking emotional assurance and information about raising children, they will again serve as invaluable resources.

After having done your homework; joining and participating in one or more support groups; and giving some thought about what type of child would best fit into your family; then it is time to begin contacting agencies that appear to meet the selection criteria you have defined. At this point seek out informational resources that will educate you into becoming a knowledgeable consumer. Create a list of questions that cover the information you need in making an informed decision and be aware that you must attempt to control your emotions and the desire to have the process move quickly. Remember, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure!

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